Remembering Augustine

Prologue

I'm a woman, yet I've never felt the responsibilities placed upon a woman. A fleeting sense of love evolving from a crush to one of the most important days... a wedding. I've never experienced love like that, even from my "parents". My father died shortly after my mother gave birth to me on the way to the hospital and 4 years later, she married my now stepfather. At the young age of four and missing a true father figure in my life, I was introduced to a new family, somewhat unwelcomingly. I felt out of place and unloved, but once I met my new sister... everything went full circle. Augustine was a star. She was beautiful, charismatic, and her luscious, blonde curly hair put my wavy brown hair to shame. Everyone loved her. I couldn't be like her. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't. I couldn't live up to the expectations my mother had of an ideal daughter... just like she couldn't live up to mine as an ideal mother.

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The wind is blowing, sweeping my golden locs along with it. A tame breeze quickly follows suit as my eyes rest upon the sunset. Today isn't cloudy like the others have been. The room isn't suffocated as it always has been. I finally feel like I have the ability to breathe clearly, as if the weight I was cursed to have bound to my chest was stripped away, though I know that this newfound justice I've obtained from enveloping myself in nature will slowly diminish once I gain control of my thoughts once again.

The honey-colored flowers flourished in the field of wild grass. The grass, almost looking like hay covered the entire surrounding area on this hill that seemed to stretch for miles. Time was stagnant. Everything in this moment felt perfect, like a scene taken straight out of a romance novel. It's a beautiful site... but a somber one. Everything is at peace, maybe even their own sense joy. I finally felt a place where I thought I belonged. After years and years of searching for something or somewhere I felt like I was truly welcomed and now, for the first time, I have someone beside me while this journey I've embarked on reaches its end.