All For A Few Cards ➺ Alice in Borderland

episode 21 || forgotten pasts

"I knew there was little to no point in checking if she was still alive. If I hadn't killed her. But the game had cleared. Meaning I had killed her." I told him.

"I'm still disgusted in myself to this day. Killing the only person who truly understood me for a card. A card." I said. "You did it out of pressure." Chishiya spoke for the first time since I began talking. "But I still did it."

"Anyone would've." He tried to say. "Anyone with a heart wouldn't." I gave him a stink-eye. He looked away in embarrassment.

"I went to our spot behind the ice cream parlor the next day. The spot was just a big oak tree we would sit under back in the real world when things got hard. There was a note there. It was like she knew what was going to happen.

"The note wasn't even a note goodbye. It was a note to her boyfriend. For me." I said. He stared at me in confusion. "She knew. She knew about Hiroshi. She knew what he did and didn't say anything. Hid her pain behind smiles. I should've known she was breaking inside."

"She knew what?" Chishiya asked. "He cheated on her. With his best girl friend." I told him, trying to hide my guilt. He noticed and was about to ask.

"I knew. I walked in on them before coming here. I tried to tell her. But she kept cutting me off. like she didn't want to get reminded. turns out it was happening more then once. I just don't know why she would hide it. why she didn't confront him."

"why didn't you?" he asked. "I did." I said. "I put a knife to his neck and told him I'd kill him if he ever got close to Sakura again. I dared him. and that motherfucker took on the dare."

"he didn't listen to you?" Chishiya asked. I shook my head. "he offered me money. a lot of money. he came from a rich family and new I didn't have much," I mentioned. he nodded, waiting for me to go on.

"he told me he'd pay me not to tell Sakura. so I accepted it," I said. "and I didn't tell her."

Chishiya looked away from me, understanding now why I had felt so much guilt. "I know it was wrong of me to act so selfish towards my best friend. I felt like I had no choice." I explained.

"you did it to prevent from hurting her more." he said. "I did it for myself. I bought a shit load of cigarettes."

"I...I'm sorry." he said. I looked over at him. he looked sincere. I chuckled a bit. "huh. never thought I'd hear those words come from you." I teased and playfully hit his shoulder.

he smirked a bit. "you won't be hearing it again." he said. "we'll see about that," I grinned.

we went silent for a while. I still couldn't believe I had told him about that night. I hadn't told anyone other then Kuina. but I trusted Kuina. I just didn't know if I trusted Chishiya yet.

"my parents never loved each other," he said. I switched my gaze to him. "I knew it since I was young. I didnt have any siblings, so life was lonely at times." he told me. "why didn't your parents divorce then?" I asked.

"my father worked in medicine. he had a high position at the hospital. they didn't divorce to keep the hospital stable. a divorce is messy, requires money being split. my parents didn't have time for that." he mentioned.

"time passes and I decide to also take a medical path for my future," he said. "a doctor?" I scoffed. he nodded. "I wanted to see if I genuinely cared for people's lifes." he said.

I almost laughed. "how'd that work out for you?" I asked him. he sighed. "as you'd imagine." he said. "you didn't care?" I asked. "no."

I laughed a bit. "what a waste, huh?" I asked. his lips pulled into a faint smile. "unfortunately." he told me. "I'm sorry I don't have much more to tell you. my life was pretty boring back in the real world."

I took in his past as we both grew quite again. I began to remember Sakura.

"Sakura was also a medical student." I pointed out to him. "was she?" he asked. I nodded. "and you?"

"science. I wanted to become a scientist." I told him. "did you now? what kind?" he seemed intrigued. "a pharmaceutical scientist." I said. "oh. you planned on making medicine?" I nodded.

"yeah. my mom's sick in the hospital. she had a sudden heart attack and was diagnosed with amnesia when she woke up." I explained. "i wanted to come up with a cure to get her memories back."

"how bad was it?" he asked. I went quite, not quite wanting to talk anymore. but I did anyways. "she lost twenty seven years of her life. she forgot about me."

his mouth gapped slightly. "and...your dad?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"he was in debt with a gang back in his teenage years. he ran and they found him. they drove past in a car and shot him, along with my two younger siblings. I was fifteen."

I didn't feel like crying. just sad at the thought of it. "what were their names?" Chishiya questioned quietly. "my sister who was twelve at the time was Hanako. and my brother was ten. Itsuki.

"we were really close. our entire family was. we were poor. both my parents had two jobs, so I was left to care for my siblings most of our days. I spent my entire childhood caring for them as a mother would. we didn't see our parents much, but when we did, we would always do fun things." I said.

"but then the accident happened and it was me and my mom left. three years later, my mom got a heart attack due to the amount of stress she held of her now three jobs.

"she forgot she ever had her children and still believes her husband's alive. so she left me alone with school. I got a full paid scholarship to any university I wanted. i chose the state university to stay with her. that's where I met Sakura."

Chishiya was listening to every word I spoke, staring at me with his cat-like eyes. he continued to stare at me once I finished.

"say something." I told him. "I don't know what. you left me speechless, Kaneoko." he said. I smirked. he did too.

"I'm surprised you opened up. I thought you'd never." he said. "I had to tell someone before I die and get forgotten." I joked.

"have you not told anyone?" he asked. "only Sakura. and Kuina," I added. "hm. since when have you and Kuina become so close?" he smirked.

I shrugged. "I'm not sure. she seems like someone to trust." I said. "you shouldn't trust anyone in the Borderlnads." Chishiya noted. "it seems like you trusted me. telling me about your past." I said. "unless you were lying about that."

"if i were to lie, I'd come up with something far more interesting," he said, causing me to laugh. "but anyways I don't have a reason to lie to you." he said.

"how heartwarming." I teased. "right?" he grinned. we both laughed.

•°♤♡◇♧°•

❝ [ɴᴇxᴛ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ] ❞

𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺. 𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦, 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘴𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘰𝘯. 𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵. 𝘉𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶.

•••