U.F.Oh! Invaders! (One Shot)

The Girls From Space

When everything has turned cynical then the most miraculous things turn to apathy. I, despite not living the worst life on Earth, found it without purpose and difficult. I would sit and waste time in my room when I wasn't in my classes. Each day blurred, starting with the question of why I should bother getting out of bed. I felt I was without friends on campus, even online there was no one. Which wasn't entirely true, and I knew it. As I knew I was my enemy.

There were always people, it was the fact that reaching out tended to seem impossible or required more energy than I had. It didn't help matters that my demeanor was more depressed and quiet, to the point that I grew tired of it. The only thing that bothered me more was the fact that I had no interests, every activity I once enjoyed became dull over time. They were unable to keep my attention, let alone bring me joy.

Then there was the day I met Lala, a girl from space.

It all began at the end of a regular day when I was in the shower. I had dragged myself into the hot water and was in the middle of zoning out when a high-pitched sound started to ring in my ears with the sound of water pouring down. And then a loud thump of two people falling in the shower. What was surprising, more than Lala's appearance, was how very unlikely the event was. Not that I could or would appreciate it at the time, being knocked out from having someone land on me and then hitting my head on the floor of the tub.

Waking on my bad, I was greeted by a pink-haired girl next to me, seemingly worried. I didn't understand a word she said as she spoke in a different language, and I honestly had no clue what she was thinking at the time. I was a mess of thoughts, not sure if I shouldn't care or if I should. Once-in-a-lifetime events don't usually fall out of the sky, and yet I didn't want to be bothered by her.

Ignoring the waging tail, she seemed relieved I was okay, and the fact that she only had a towel on. "Who are you?" Was the only question that escaped me.

She appeared to understand me, "⋔⊬ ⋏⏃⋔⟒ ⟟⌇ ⌰⏃⌰⏃ ⌇⏃⏁⏃⌰⟟⋏ ⎅⟒⎐⟟⌰⎍☍⟒, ⌇⍜⍀⍀⊬ ⎎⍜⍀ ⟒⏃⍀⌰⟟⟒⍀. ⟟ ⎅⟟⎅⋏'⏁ ⋔⟒⏃⋏ ⏁⍜ ⌰⏃⋏⎅ ⍜⋏ ⊬⍜⎍."

She then realized that I had no idea what she said and playfully hit herself on the head. This short, one-sided chat was cut off before it could begin. The dark windows of my room became bright and shattered as someone crashed through them. I was put in further shock as I witnessed clothes materialize on Lala and knew less of how I should react. When Lala first grabbed me, I thought she was taking me out of harm's way, as the people who came after her appeared armed with weapons.

Later, I would learn she was technically using me as a shield. There are laws that protect primitives from any form of harm, that when used against law-abiding aliens, make those same primitives amazing shields.

Karma would get her for that even if she meant no harm. The people chasing her were part of her father's guard, sent to retrieve her, even if that meant tearing through my house. They had the means to repair everything they destroyed as they chased us out the back. Lala appeared to run in random directions through the neighborhood until it became clear even to me that we were surrounded. It was in that time I started regaining my composure as armored soldiers appeared from around the houses at the dead end.

One of the men that stood out, on account of beaming down from the sky in large armor, who I'd learn was Zastin, Lala's personal guard, stepped forward and spoke, "⌰⏃⌰⏃, ⟟⏁'⌇ ⏁⟟⋔⟒ ⊬⍜⎍ ⌇⏁⍜⌿ ⍀⎍⋏⋏⟟⋏☌. ⊬⍜⎍⍀ ⎎⏃⏁⊑⟒⍀ ⌇⟒⏁ ⎍⌿ ⏁⊑⟒ ⋔⏃⍀⍀⟟⏃☌⟒ ⟟⋏⏁⟒⍀⎐⟟⟒⍙ ⟟⌇ ⊑⍜⌿⟒⌇ ⍜⎎ ☌⍜⍜⎅ ⍀⟒⌰⏃⏁⟟⍜⋏⌇ ⍙⟟⏁⊑ ⏁⊑⟒ ⟊⎍⍀⟟⏃⋏⌇. ⏃⏁ ⌰⟒⏃⌇⏁ ⊑⎍⋔⍜⍀ ⏁⊑⟒⋔."

"⋏⍜! ⟟ ⏃⌰⍀⟒⏃⎅⊬ ⏁⍜⌰⎅ ⊑⟟⋔ ⏁⊑⏃⏁ ⟟ ⍙⍜⎍⌰⎅⋏'⏁ ⎅⍜ ⏃ ⋔⏃⍀⍀⟟⏃☌⟒ ⟟⋏⏁⟒⍀⎐⟟⟒⍙ ⍙⟟⏁⊑ ⌇⟒⟟⍀⊬⍜, ⏃⋏⊬⍜⋏⟒ ⟒⌰⌇⟒ ⏚⎍⏁ ⊑⟟⋔!"

"⍙⟒ ⏚⍜⏁⊑ ☍⋏⍜⍙ ⌰⏃⎅⊬ ⌇⟒⏁⍜ ☊⊑⍜⌇⟒ ⊑⟟⋔ ⎎⍜⍀ ⏁⊑⏃⏁ ⍀⟒⏃⌇⍜⋏. ⍙⟒ ⌇⟟⋔⌿⌰⊬ ⊑⏃⎐⟒ ⏁⍜ ⎅⟒⏃⌰ ⍙⟟⏁⊑ ⟟⏁."

They continued on for a few more before I had finally had it, "Okay, I have no clue what either of you are saying, and honestly I don't need to. You understand me, that's enough. Either fix my house and leave, because this business is clearly between you two, or explain to the unwilling third party why they got mixed up in it and then leave."

Zastin appeared troubled, I was an issue. Taking out a handheld device, he poked around in it before speaking to me, "I am Zastin, the personal bodyguard of Princess Lala, and I apologize for your involvement and the damages caused. As for the reason why the princess crashed on this planet, she... ran away from home."

"Ran away from home?" The device translated Princess Lala's speech. "Papa was setting up an arranged marriage! I have every right to run away from that!"

"Well, I accept the apology if you can fix my house," I cut in, "It isn't my place to comment but why would an advance race of aliens still have arranged marriages?"

"Right?" Princess Lala supported my question. "Why can't I decide on who I love?"

"Princess," Zastin rushed the matter, "We can discuss this more at home. First, we need to clean up the mess made before-"

A bright light came down from the sky, "May I have your attention please."

 "Oh no," Zastin was extremely worried. "Peace Keepers."

"Who?"

"They enforce galactic law... which we are in violation of."

The ship that the light came from beamed down a young woman with long light brown hair, most notable was her cat tail and ears, "Correct. My name is Eris, please explain why the Devilukes have broken directives one and twenty of the primitive interaction treaty." The cat Eris smiled innocently.

"Well... you see..." Zastin made up something troublesome on the spot. "Princess Lala ran away from home and crashed on Earth, this man saved her life!" There was a long pause as everyone stared at him blankly, he stared at me with apologetic eyes.

"Is that so?"

"Yes! We tried to get her back, but their love-"

"Did you destroy primitive property in said chase?" The cat smiled innocently.

Zastin panicked, "Well, yes, but we have already promised to repair everything-"

Eris closed and opened her eyes slowly, "Alright."

"Huh?"

"I will send the report to high command and see if they will approve of an exception five. In the meantime, I would ask that you move your ships away from Earth, as they are causing enough problems," Eris was playing along, as this was a serious diplomatic situation.

If the Devilukes were found in breach of galactic law, then the other powers could justify sanctions and possibly war. I did not know at the time, however, there were a few cases of exceptions. Exception five, in layman's terms, is called a crash excuse. While there will still be penalties, it's mostly a heavy fine. As for Earth, the sighting of two massive alien ships in orbit was causing havoc on the news.