𝓂𝒾𝒹𝓃𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 (𝒶 𝓀𝑜𝓉𝓁𝒸 𝑜𝓃𝑒𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓉𝓈 𝒷𝑜𝑜𝓀)

~I Am Not Sad (Fitzerella)~

XiomaraFromAtlantis has been waiting weeks for this one, my bad!

I gotta say, coming from someone who has been falling down the rabbit hole of Dexerella sleepover fanfictions, this might be one of my least favorite ships. Then again, if anyone (and I mean anyone) gets shipped with Dex at least once, I'm gonna at the very least dislike anyone other ships with the said love interest. That's why I don't love Marellinh as much as I should because if Dex didn't exist, I would be bouncing off the walls with my fire and water lesbians.

However, the more I think about Fitzerella, the more I start to like the idea. I imagine Marella and Fitz getting angry together and blowing some stuff up like nothing but the two of them matter. I imagine Marella teaching Fitz that it's okay to feel, to be sad, to be less toxic-masculinity-go-vroom-vroom.

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✩Fitz's POV✩

I'm not sad.

No, not at all. Men don't get sad. Men get angry.

That's what I am: angry. Angry because my best friend and the girl I was in love with just kissed. And nobody even bothered to look back at me.

Well, except Marella. But that made me even angrier.

She looked like she sympathized for me. Like I was sad. Which I'm NOT! Therefore I stormed out of Everglen to the gardens to calm down. And to wait for Sophie to chase after me and tell me she loved me.

Keefe didn't love her, after all. Their relationship was one-sided, no matter how much Sophie tried to deny it.

I sighed and gazed up. The night sky was a murky purple-brown speckled with dull stars and gray clouds. Voices and laughs chattered from inside the lit-up Everglen mansion, making me feel like my heart was being ripped out. I wasn't sad, though. Anger bubbled in my throat like lava as I identified two figures in one of the windows on the second floor: Sophie and Keefe.

"Fitz?" a bored voice echoed from somewhere deep inside the maze of rose bushes. "Biana said you might be out here. Are you done throwing a tantrum or do you want to come back inside?"

"I am not throwing a tantrum!" I snapped, ripping a sunny yellow rose from its bush. "I am enjoying the cool evening air and smell of fresh flowers!"

A girl with frizzy fire-engine red hair to her shoulders- dyed by Dex a couple of hours ago- and electric blue eyes that were sharp with sarcasm and pride stepped out from behind an especially tall bush of marigolds.

"It's about Sophie, isn't it?" Marella asked sharply.

"Why do you care?"

"Your sister sent me out here to babysit you because I'm the one she would like out of her sight for a couple of hours the most," Marella answered bitterly. She plucked her own rose- a dark red one- and held it to her chest.

"And you listened."

"Is this going to be some kind of interrogation or are you just going to come back inside?" Marella shivered. "It's colder than Rimeshire out here tonight."

"Why don't you go inside?" I repeated. Marella laughed without any humor.

"Marella," I repeated with irritation. She turned to me, obviously bored out of her mind. "Why. Are. You. Here."

"I told you before," Marella said, raising her voice. "Biana sent me out here."

"You could take her in an argument if you really tried. And Biana wouldn't wish quality time with her older brother on anyone these days," I reasoned grumpily. "You had a choice. You came here."

Marella held her breath, and her electric ice-blue eyes shone with something I'd never seen them have: fear.

I stepped closer to her, only slightly taller than her but so angry it looked like at least a twelve-inch difference. "Why don't you just go away?"

Marella sneered. "Do you really hate me that much, you dickhead?" But underneath her insults, the question stood bare, unguarded, honest.

I opened my mouth to answer. Nothing came out. Ice blue eyes dulled with hurt, but Marella scoffed.

"Should've guessed," I thought I heard her say under her breath.

"I guess not," I mumbled. She perked up.

"Excuse me?"

"I guess I don't hate you." I took the yellow rose in my hand and crushed it on the ground. "I'm just...angry."

Marella snorted. I glared.

"What?"

"Fitz, you can admit you're sad. You don't have to act like a total ass when you just got dumped." Marella looked down at the red rose in her hand with a look of longing that hit a little too close to home for my liking.

"I'm not sad!"

"If you weren't sad, then why did you just storm out of the sleepover room fifteen minutes ago and run to the gardens?"

"Uh, because I was angry."

"And were those angry tears I saw you crying just over five minutes ago?"

Marella's (albeit true) accusation caught me off guard. "They were, actually."

Marella sighed- a sound that shouldn't have made me feel as disappointed in myself as it did. "Keep lying to yourself then."

"Fine, I will." I turned away from Marella to look at the fountain behind me. She turned the other way, but she didn't leave.

After minutes of silence, Marella plopped down on the ground with a small thud. I followed suit, our backs to each other while sitting on the cool grass.

I stared at the bright window again. Sophie and Keefe's silhouettes were shown laughing together, the distance between their hands practically nonexistent. A pang of sadness hit me like a needle to a tower of cards- so small, yet strong enough to make the fortress come crashing down.

And it did. Tears flowed down my cheeks like waterfalls. Marella scooted around so she was facing my back and hugged me from behind.

When my tears started to dry, I couldn't help but smile. "I bet you're getting quite a lot of entertainment from this."

Marella grinned. "Perhaps. Ready to admit it yet?"

"Fine." I sniffled. "I am sad. Happy?"

"Not until we get some warm drinks from the kitchen, but better," Marella admitted, standing up and brushing dirt off her pants.

"Deal." I took her hand and together we walked inside.

I am sad. Well, kind of.