if you don't know

Chapter 1./Introduction

(a.n) okay so this book is gonna be switching between points of view but the first couple chapters are gonna be from the main character, Will's P.O.V. also there's gonna be some uncomfortable topics in this book, so don't read this if you're sensitive to anything aimed for a more mature audience lol.

-

This is how it went at the courthouse. The place where I receive my community service sentence and multiple death glares from my mother.

I lurched back as the large wooden court doors slammed in front of me. My mom sighed and brushed past me, trying to avoid me seeing the tears welled up in her eyes. But I knew I'd probably be back at this courthouse by next year. Now it usually doesn't go like this. I mean, I've never gotten expelled, but I think I underestimated the consequences of this situation. The usual is twenty hours of community service and a strict grounding from my mom. But I knew this was different. Annoyed, I kicked at a rock in the parking lot, keeping my eyes locked on the ground while I slowly followed my mom to the car. I didn't wanna take my hands out of my pockets to open the passenger seat door so I just let my head drop against the dirty car window. I tested myself to see how still I could keep my head, despite the overwhelming wind. I'm always testing myself, and other people, mentally. For example, how much beer I can chug in two minutes, how much longer can Caleb talk about banging girls, how much patience I have left before I go off on a bitch. I just don't tell people I'm testing myself in case I don't meet my quota. My mom, fed up with my shit and wanting to go home, honked the horn a couple times, causing me to lurch back onto the car parked next to us. It set the alarm off. Mom banged her forehead against the steering wheel while I hastily jumped in my car and shut the door behind me.

"Hurry, that alarm is getting louder." I yelled to my mom.

"Seatbelt."

"What, mom, let's go, hurry!"

"Will, it is so unsafe to drive without a seatbelt." She spoke calmly.

"Mom, what is wrong with you, let's go before someone thinks I tried to break in-"

"William Jack Dun, I am not turning this engine on until you are safely buckled up."

"Oh, for Christ's sake, mom!" Clumsily, I fastened my seatbelt as she began to drive away.

We were both silent, excluding the occasional disappointed sigh from my mom and the occasional exhausted sigh from me. I propped my head against the window and began picking at my frayed jeans. The soft patter of rain hitting the window allowed me to shut my eyes. I regret what I did, of course, but I have this weird thing with never wanting anything to change. So in a way, I wouldn't change it. That sounds stupid. But the truth is, I wouldn't fix half the things I regret. I was almost asleep when I heard my mom quietly begin to sob.

"Mom?" My voice was drowsy and weak. It made me feel pathetic. Then I felt even more pathetic for thinking of how someone would perceive me through the means of my voice while my mom literally had tears falling down her cheeks. I am selfish a little.

Anyway, she didn't even respond and just pursed her lips, staying silent for the next couple minutes. "You're lucky you only have to do community service." She finally spoke. Her voice was strained and I could tell it pained her to talk about this.

"I know I am..."

"What was the money for, Will?"

"It was for us."

One person. I sold a couple of my sleeping pills to one fucking rich bitch and my school goes bat shit crazy. I'm not trying to excuse myself but I think 100 hours of community service and getting expelled is a little excessive. And I'd never admit it, but I'm scared to go to a new school tomorrow. Anyway, the money was because ever since my piece of shit father left us when I was thirteen, we have not been doing so hot, regarding the lack of dough in the oven. By that I mean we basically have no money in the bank. My mom worked a day shift during weekdays and graveyard during weekends. I'm lucky for that. Puts food on the table and a roof over my head and an iPhone in my back pocket.

With a deep inhale, I shut my eyes and stiffly placed my head back against my seat. My mom gently placed her hand over mine and gave it a squeeze. And I slept the rest of the way. I was up really late last night text-flirting this girl who then proceeded, at the generous time of 4:00 a.m, to tell me she couldn't take it any farther due to the teensy little fact that she fucking had a boyfriend.

I deleted her number and fell asleep after that. I was only asleep for two hours until my mom poured a cup of ice water over my face at 6:30 a.m, telling me to put on a suit for court. That sucked.

-

I sat crossed legged on my bed, staring through the window at the kids playing across the street. Three little boys and one little girl, kicking a soccer ball around a dead lawn. I noticed the three boys were trying extra hard to make sure the ball didn't go to the little girl. After that realization, came the one that it was a little bit creepy for a sixteen year old to be stalking a group of little kids playing soccer.

I sighed and fell back onto a mass of black pillows, with drool stains I might add, till I heard the sound of footsteps ,that got immensely louder with every second, approach my bedroom door.

"Will!" My best friend Caleb burst through my door, knocking over a can of soda and a small lava lamp on my dresser. Caleb lived in the house behind me, so often, I'd be laying in bed, listening to music and he'd burst in, screaming about how good the chick he banged that weekend was at giving head. Not minding the fact that I was a virgin who had put every ounce of strength into trying to pick up chicks and still couldn't get some.

"Whoa, dude, chill out." I quickly sat up.

"What the fuck happened with the pill shit, I thought you were gonna get your ass thrown in jail!" Caleb screamed.

"Shh! My mom's asleep, we just got back from the courthouse a couple hours ago. And you don't go to jail for selling pills to one person if you're a minor. I did get 100 fucking hours of community service. And I have to go to some new shit school in some fucking dead ass forest or whatever." I groaned.

"Language!" I heard my not asleep mom yell faintly from her room.

"Man, I was hoping you wouldn't get expelled." He sighed before realization came over his face. "Wait, Are you talking about the school in Blue Pine? The little town thats practically Amish?" He sat down on the bed, took out his phone and started rapidly tapping.

"Yeah, apparently they're like super hardcore on students. My mom thinks it'll be a 'good learning experience.' I'm pretty sure that shit's not even in Southern California."

Caleb chuckled a little. "Nah dude, it is." He showed me his phone screen which lit up with a map from my house to Blue Pine High School. "It's not that far actually."

I let out an exaggerated sigh. "It still sucks."

"Yeah... On a better note, the pinecones in that forest behind the school are blue."

My face shoved its way into my pillow, "I don't give a fuck about multicolored pinecones." My muffled voice said, defeated. "Wait." I sat up and furrowed my eyebrows at Caleb. "How did you know about that school?"

"How did you not?" He laughed. "Dude, creepy ass shit goes on there everyday."

"What? God, I hope you're joking."

"I'm not, I swear, like kids go missing, weird stuff happens during events, the teachers are sketchy." Maybe I'll get lucky and go missing on the first day, I thought. "Look, I got to go, I'm meeting Brenda Lee. The hot asian chick who thinks I'm an American t.v show star." Caleb said, throwing himself off my bed.

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with him.

"Alright, see you later, man." I slumped back against my pillows again.

"Yeah, take care, buddy. Sorry about that lava lamp."

"I don't give a fuck." I took out my phone and started playing a game called Doodle Jump.

Caleb was out of my room for about two seconds before he peeked his head back in. "Look up that high school."