john doe x reader oneshots (requests open!)

john doe x godly!reader (gn)

*(name) *

war. 

blood.

death.

all of these things my people had to deal with. if it weren't for the other gods none of this would've happened. and now for my "brash" actions of getting vengeance for my people, I'm falling.

falling.

farther from light.

I'm sorry, my people, but I don't think I'll be able to join you in whichever afterlife you have chosen for yourselves. isn't it funny? the god of freedom, flight, void, and the storms, banished for acting freely and justly? falling? succumbing to-

CRASH

their internal monologue was broken by my crashing into...water? no, this can't be water it is to thick. scrambling to the surface of the water, and bursting forth like a phoenix from ashes, flying gracefully back onto land (whilst still looking like a drowned rat), and shaking themself dry, they began to observe their surroundings

wait..

land?

gathering their thoughts, they began to trudge their way away from the shores of the body of water-like solution towards a bench. once they sat down and gathered their thoughts (at least a little) they saw something in the distance, a sign, maybe? they thought to themselves

WELCOME TO UNCANNY VALLEY :), it read, with a spray painted smiley face right underneath the word 'valley'. strange, they thought, their wings splaying as they began to stretch before walking around once again. as they walked around the valley, a person (?) approached, this one with confidence in his stride.

 "um, hello, can I help you, sir?" the banished god said looking at the older-looking gentleman. he stares a moment longer before adjusting his bright red blazer, brushing his hair back, only for half of it to fall right back down into his face. 

"You're new in town, lost and wandering. you need a place to call your own" he said to the god before him. the way he talked surprised the former (?) god of freedom, his voice was so smooth as if he's given the same speech a million times, he paused, if only just for a moment, before continuing on 

"Allow me to introduce myself, I'm Maison Talo, #1 REALTOR in all Uncanny Valley. I can help you find your dream home TODAY." he announced, before he quickly snatched a business card from his breast pocket, only for another identical business card to pop up and take its place. He offered it out to the god, his hand uncomfortably close to their face, making them flinch back a bit before ultimately deciding to take the card from him.

"give me a call and we can get you set up in a new house TODAY, GUARANTEED."

the god lied smoothly to the realtor "uh... ok? I already have an apartment lined up, so I don't think I'm in a place to be buying a whole new house." the realtors expression seemed to scrunch up 

"... hehehe, that's quite alright, I'm sure you'll be giving me a call, I AM the #1 REALTOR in all of Uncanny Valley after all." he replied almost as quickly as he had whipped out his business card before. he smiled again before continuing

"I have never had a disappointed buyer, you'll love the new house I've found just for YOU. I'll be waiting" the strange realtor walked away before they could get a chance to argue, his long legs carrying him quicker than they expected. the god just shrugged and held on to the business card, no harm in holding onto it incase you never actually managed to find an apartment

they sighed and continued walking around. Now that the realtor was gone, they needed to find a mortal job. after walking around for a while, they find themself in what seems to be the heart of the city, the many buildings and stores feeling almost like they are closing in around the god. "alright, job time... cities usually have job spaces open right?" they stated to no one in particular.