"Wait, My little boy looks just like you!" Violent J screamed at Shaggy as he realized,
he looked at his newborn, then at Shaggy, then at his wife who was a bottle of grape Faygo, then at the doctors,
Violent J turned back to the doctors and shouted, "Why does my baby boy look like my best friend, my brother, my life mate, my love mat-"
"Maybe not the love mate thing?" Shaggy whispered in J's ear before he could finish,
"Anyway, WHY DOES MY BABY LOOK LIKE AN UGLY ASS HOOLIGAN???" J screamed,
"Whoa, sir-" the doctor tried to calm him down, but the only thing that went down was Violent J's pants so he could leave a shit on the floor.
"HEY! PSST BAD BOY!" The grape Faygo yelled at her husband, "Let's handle this the legal way," she said making Violent J put his pants back on,
He glared at Shaggy, "yea, the legal way."
Violent J, Shaggy and the Grape Faygo walked in the courthouse,
"Just tell me the truth already grape Faygo!" Violent J yelled while walking down the hallway, "Am I really the father?"
Grape Faygo was frantic, "YES YOU ARE!"
"Then why does it look like my best friend??" J yelled back, Grape Faygo didn't have an answer to that.
The three arrived in the courtroom, J sat down on the left side while Shaggy sat on the right, and Grape Faygo was standing in the middle.
The main judge spoke, "Alright, your defendants should be here in about-"
Then all of a sudden nine men bursted thru the door, "oh god NO!" The judge cried at the sight, it was SLIPKNOT!!!
Joey, Shawn and Sid were on Violent Js side, while Chris, Jim and Mick were on Shaggys side,
Paul, Corey and Craig weren't on anyones side because they are sick and tired of always being dragged into my fanfic- **cough cough**
Because they are the main speakers even though Craig does not talk.
Violent J smelt the guy beside him, "you're short, small & smelly!" He yelled at the guy, of course the guy was Joey who had just pissed himself.
Sid started to munch on Js hair, "what the fuck are you doing!?" J yelled while pushing Sid off of him,
"tu haar dufter dejligt," Sid spoke while smiling wholesomely, Violent J tried to run away in fear but Shawn caught him,
"He said your hair smells nice, he's not going to eat you," Shawn said, "yet."
J sat back down and laughed nervously, "oh thank you, I like my hair primped, crimped, crunched, and slightly permed,"
Sid smiled through his mask and licked his lips, Joey suddenly spoke up excited, "You like to do your hair too?" Violent J slowly turned his head straight down to face him, "I actually brought some hair supplies just in case!" Joey smiled as he picked up everything from his purse.
Violent J tried to run away but Shawn caught him again, "He always does that," Shawn said as he threw Joeys things off the desk.
Shaggy looked at Mick terrified while Chris nose jerked right beside him, "So, do you think the baby's yours?" Jim asked while cuddling with his guitar,
"I don't know, I mean it looks like me," Shaggy replied, "do you have to have your guitar take up 90% of the seating here?"
"It's not just a guitar! It's my guitar, and I love it very much," Jim said while starting to kiss it,
Shaggy looked at him mortified, "can you just move it a little to the right? This nose guy and the big guy are scaring me," Shaggy whispered but he didn't get an answer.
"Hey," Chris called out while still rubbing his nose, "Can I show you what I found under your chair?" he asked Shaggy,
"Uhh sure?" Shaggy responded as Chris showed him a strand of black hair, "what the fuck!" he yelled,
"Is this hair yours?" Chris asked, "NO!" Shaggy yelled, "I just shaved my head!"
"Oh okay, Jim is this hair yours?" Chris asked, "nope," Jim responded while making out with his guitar,
"Mick?" Chris looked up at him a little nervous, "No, get that thing away from me," Mick roared,
Chris got up and looked for the owner of this strand of hair.
Shaggy quietly pulled out a pot of his mama's spaghetti and began to eat it, "Can I have some?" Chris asked while running back,
"No!" Shaggy yelled and then proceeded to inhale it.
"All right," Corey said as he stood in front of all of them, "ORDER ORDER ORDER!" he yelled as he hit the very real hammer onto the desk,
Paul stopped him and whispered, "stop it!"
Craig sat on the chair right next to the two, "alright, I need a sperm sample," Corey yelled at both J and Shaggy,
"Huh?" Shaggy shrieked, "HEY! GIVE IT TO ME OR I'LL TAKE IT!"
Violent J sat there in horror as Corey began to grab him, the bottle of Grape Faygo and Shaggy then took them into another room.
All the others could hear their screams of agony.
Corey came back with an evil grin and began to speak, "alright, I've collected the requiremen-"
"Where's the real judge?" Paul asked while interrupting Corey,
"I'm here," Corey responded as he smirked, "YOU AREN'T A REAL JUDGE THO-" Paul yelled but Corey put his finger up to his mouth,
"Shhh," he shushed him.
"ALRIGHT, AM I THE FATHER?" Violent J asked interrupting the two,
"Shut up down there!" Corey yelled back while started to chug his beer,
Paul grabbed the sperm samples and carefully put them on the table, but then all of a sudden Sid jumped up on the table and began to drink the samples,
Paul let out a shriek as he passed out and fell onto the floor, Chris and Shawn ran to the remaining sperm droplets and began to cover themselves in it.
Corey stood still as he watched the chaos unfold, Mick got up from his seat and grabbed Sid by the jumpsuit collar, he let out a grizzly roar as he threw Sid out of the window.
Violent J sat still in shock, Joey took that to his advantage so he could decorate J's hair with bow ties.
"STOP THIS MADNESS AT ONCE!" The judge stood up, everyone stopped what they're doing and looked at him,
Corey ran towards the judge and threw him outside of the window, "alright bring me the child!" Corey demanded,
The can of Grape Faygo slowly brang the baby to Corey, "don't eat it Corey," Chris chuckled over his shoulder,
Corey grabbed the baby and looked at it, "oh God, it looks ugly as shit!" he yelled as he threw the baby,
Jim accidentally caught it and screamed as he threw it to Joey, "here's your spermling," Joey handed over the baby to Violent J,
Violent J calmed down and ripped out all of the bow ties in his hair and wiped the make up off of his face then held the baby.
He looked down at the child and then looked back up at Corey, "Is this baby mine?" He asked,
"Uh," Corey responded, Paul got up and grabbed a paper, "here's the test results," he said as he gave it to Corey,
"Oh right," Corey coughed and puked all over the floor before he spoke, "Violent J,"
Violent J started to tremble in nervousness as Corey continued, "you're not the father! You fat ugly proud kid!"
J looked at the baby and dropped it in disbelief, "My beloved Grape Faygo, how could you?" The Faygo stayed quiet,
"And Shaggy2dope, you aren't the father either," Corey said which shocked everyone, "what! How am I not the father?" Shaggy yelled,
"Wait, why would you think that you're the father?" Violent J questioned, "yea, why would you think that?" Joey repeated,
"Uh, hehehe," Shaggy nervously laughed as he laid back into the chair as everyone stared at him.
"Wait, if Shaggy and I aren't the father, then who is?" Violent J asked the Grape Faygo,
"I'm a virgin! I don't even know how I got pregnant!" She yelled back, "maybe it was an alien?"
Everyone looked at Sid who was balancing on the chandelier, "Sid?" Jim called,
"What? I didn't make her pregnant! And I'm not even that ugly to have such an ugly looking baby!"
"Everyone shut up!" Corey yelled, "Grape Faygo, you are not the mother!"
Everyone got quiet, "how did is this not my baby? the doctors and my husband watched me give birth to it!" Grape Faygo yelled which interrupted the silence.
"Alright, and just for fun, I drugged all of my bandmates and forced them to give me their pp's!" Corey laughed psychotically,
"But I don't even have one!" Joey spoke up,
"Anyways, I'm not the father thank god," Corey carried on, "Sid you're not the father, Joey you're not the parent, Paul you're not the father neither is Chris, Jim, Shawn or Mick." He said out of breathe,
"What about Craig?" Shaggy asked, "oh righ- oh god!" Corey screamed, "CRAIG IS THE PARENTS!"
everyone looked at Craig who was silently smiling behind his mask, "C-Craig? You are the mother and father to the thing that I birthed?" Grape Faygo asked, Craig stood up and ran towards her and strangled her, "OH MY GOD THE SPIKE HEAD HAS GONE CRAZY!" Corey yelled.
Craig then grabbed the baby and put it between his spikes as he ran towards Corey and SPIKED him, the others started to run but Craig caught them,
Joey let out a piercing scream which made everyone go deaf and it shattered the windows,
Mick ran towards Joey to save everyone else's hearing and covered his mouth, but that didn't stop Craig.
Craig spiked Mick, Jim and Shawn, Craig then ran towards Paul, and also Spiked him, Craig looked at Violent J and Shaggy then ran towards them,
Both Shaggy and J were running together, "I'm so sorry to ever think that you fucked my wife!" J shouted,
"But I did fuck your wife!" Shaggy shouted back,
J stopped running and grabbed Shaggys shoulder, "you what my wife?"
"I- uh- the SPIKES!" Shaggy yelled as Craig Spiked him, Shaggy shut his eyes as he felt himself being SPIKED, "wait I'm not dead?" Shaggy questioned,
Craig looked at him, " I thought that whenever you get SPIKED by Craig you die?" Shaggy said, he looked at all of the bodies,
Craig shrugged then he turned to Violent J and SPIKED him, "AHHHH!" J screamed without the s,
Sid hung upside down and yelped as he saw Craig running towards him, Craig then SPIKED him.
Joey ran behind Shaggy as he got SPIKED again, Shaggy fell to the floor, "AHHHHH!" Joey yelled as he covered his eyes, Craig didn't SPIKE him because he couldn't, it was impossible for Craig to SPIKE Joey because of how short he was, EVEN THE BABY WAS TALLER THAN HIM!
Laughter began to fill the room as Craig was still trying to SPIKE Joey, he soon gave up.
Suddenly, the baby started to make noises, "THE BABY'S SAYING ITS FIRST WORDS!" Shaggy yelled as everyone got up to see.
"N-n-n-n," the baby stuttered, everyone surrounded it and heard it's first words ever!
"N-e never going to give you up,"
Craig started to tear up, his baby had done something that he had never done before,
Joey then pissed all over the floor in celebration as Chris began to jerk off.
"So I'm not the father?" Violent J asked, "NO!" Shaggy yelled.
Craig then SPIKED everyone from getting too excited.
Moral of the story: Craig is a gigachad with a kid that looks like Shaggy2Dope (aka ugly af!(jk))
And credits to Oliverdrumsandfarts22 for some ideas🤫
