To All The Boys I Fell In Love With

The frist attempt

He never let his heart to lost girl like me
I frist saw him during my freshman year and I was draw to him although we never had a conversation but I felt comfortable with him,although I sometimes forget about him but each time I see him again the feeling come alive.
I decided to shoot my shot at my third year in college.on that night I was scrolling through my social media and it decided to search for him, it took me a while to find his name but when I did I was so glad, then the part where I had to send him a request  I was having double mind about send it, so I sent it that night and told my self that if he doesn't accept I will decline my request.
I was checking my notifications every time the next day and I was already lossing hope, so I decided to check his page and then I realized he has already accepted, I had this inward joy, then the difficult part arises  I thought he was going to message me but he had better things to do so i played a mind game the day I saw he was online, I told myself that I will lock my phone and stay for a few minutes if I unlock my phone and he is still online I will send him a message,on checking he was not online I felt down but within few minutes  he came back online then I decided to text him, 'hey' I said within few minutes I received a notification he had sent a reply
Hello ma?
Good evening?
I was like what why would he use ma for me does my profile picture looked too old to him
'Good evening' I replied back
Yeah , how are you doing man?
Fine and you
'Okay.... lemme stop pretending like I don't know you😁😁
I felt goosebumps all over my body
😂😂 Do you really know me I asked
'yea I have seen you around but I don't think i have ever had a conversation with you'
That shock when he said he knows me but we have never had any conversation before
'Can you tell me about yourself' he texted
I am an ambivert (in between an introvert and extrovert)
I tend to make friends easily but don't know how to keep them for long ,i don't really like going out only when necessary, I love reading novel, watching movies, eating and sleeping'
'Wow.. you love eating 😂'
'I was like yes I love eating, why the laughing emoji ' but then I felt like he may think that who doesn't like eating , so I was waiting for him to message me back.
But he has not replied me after he asked me to describe myself , I now understand how people feel when they send me message and I don't reply, it very painful 😭😭
So I decided as from today I will stop ignoring people's message and attend to it the same way I want him to talk to me. Although he comes online but he hasn't  opened my message and I can't send him another message before it looks like I am a stalker .
S

o my lesson for that day was never ingore anybody
DAY 3
It been three days now and he has replied my message.i feel down like I am not the kind of person he wants to  have any conversation with but it I keep saying it okay to myself but I always have this pang feeling each time his name.pops up in my mind, I went out for class today and I kept glancing through if I will  come across him but that quite difficult because I don't know his scheduled.
I have then decided to send him a text message to ask why he has not replied my message,.I hope I get a positive reply😭
Few minutes later
I went back to check if he has replied and he didn't reply I felt so bad,I have decided that I will not send him a message again that final so this is the end of the part where I shot my shoot😫
Honestly I feel bad but I now understand how guys that likes a lady and the feel dejected when they don't accept them, I have have always fantasized about my future with  guys I like, then I saw a post that about not daydreaming about a guy that has not asked you out in order not to raise your expectations of the person, but I still fantasize about him.
This system is so fucked up the person you like may not like you and then the person that likes you, you may not like the person.