Ackee & Saltfish

"Yo Johnny, wah dat yuh ah eat dawg !!!" Paul called out to his best friend who was seated under a tree eating a boxed lunch.

Johnny looked across to see Paul walking towards him, waving energetically, when he reached he crouched beside him on one knee.

"Wah gwaan Paul" Johnny greeted, bumping fists with his long-time friend.

"Mi good dawg, lunch yuh deh yah ah eat ?"

"Yeh man, just buy this ackee and saltfish  from the Chinie bredda down di road"

"Ah zeen, mi well hungry still, can get a taste ?"

"Yeh man" Johnny replied, passing the box to Paul.

Paul took the box gratefully and scooped up a serving of ackee and saltfish with the fork and bit down. A moment passed before Paul spat the food out onto the ground and began to gag in disgust.

"Ah wah kind of food dat yuh ah come gi man" Paul managed to speak between coughs.

"Dawg yuh... yuh alright ?" Johnny asked, placing a hand on Paul's shoulder out of concern

Paul rose to his feet, coughing and spitting in a desperate attempt to rid his mouth of the horrid taste. When he finally ceased and managed to compose himself he looked to Johnny

"Dawg ah beat mi fi ah beat dah Chine yute deh fi ah sell man dem type ah food deh !!!"

Paul inhaled deeply before speaking again

"Hear wah, dash weh dat, mi know a ends down the road weh sell di best ackee and saltfish you will ever eat"

"But bredren..." Johnny began

"Don't worry me'll pay fi yuh food" Paul cut him off quickly

After disposing of Johnny's so called "lunch" they reached a small restaurant at the corner of the avenue, upon entering Paul approached the counter and called out

"Yow!! Miss Mary!!"

"Paul!!" a soft yet cheerful voice responded.

A small bespectacled woman who from her white hair appeared to be in her late 60's came around from the kitchen greeting the two young men with a warm smile

"How are you dear ?" she asked.

"Mi good ma'am" Paul replied returning her smile

"what are you having dear ?" she asked

"Cyan set up me and mi bredren wid two ackee and saltfish"

"Of course dearie" she replied returning to the kitchen.

After a few moments she returned with two large Styrofoam boxes and handed them to the two young men, after paying they took a seat next to the window and began to eat.

Upon taking his first bite Johnny felt a sudden sensation on his taste buds, it was unlike anything he had ever felt before, it was as if he was taken to another planet and back, he let out a loud moan of satisfaction causing Paul to stare at him in shock with a look of bewilderment on his face.

"Johnny...... yuh alright dawg ?" he asked

Johnny leaned back in his seat, a smile on his lips. When no response came Paul rose to see what was wrong but quickly froze in place when he noticed a large wet stain on the crotch area of Johnny's pants.

"Johnny.. don't tell mi... seh yuh REALLY just BUST OFF, from food!!!"

"Paul mi just..." Johnny began trying to defend himself  but he was quickly cut off

"Johnny of all the things...yow, yuh bruk meds enuh dawg !!!!"

Paul packed his box up and quickly moved towards the door.

"Paul, wait...dawg, mi sorry dawg !" Johnny called after his friend but to no effect as Paul quickly left, slamming the door behind him.

Upon hearing the noise Ms. Mary emerged from the kitchen

"whats wrong ? " she asked

"The food miss, the food." Johnny replied solemnly