Air Bubbles Don't Pop In Space

Prologue

4 years and 282 days ago

"Hey, Yura!" The words were close but felt like miles. I had been standing, I didn't know for how long, staring at the ribbed water and the distorted sight of myself staring back at me. I was at the edge of the pool, and with every soft breath my nose got coated with the scent of chlorine and choking humidity. I hadn't quite known what had caught my attention, it was just a moment wherein my mind was no longer under voluntary control. My eyes, emulated within the man-made sea. "Yura!" Her voice was familiarity, full of high tones of happiness. She always sounded like that, every time I saw her. It wasn't unexpected, she was one of those people who was friends with everybody, and she was really the only one I talked to in the swim club. Of course, I could delude myself into thinking she was always cheery, but that would be naive. Nobody was happy all the time, that was just a fact of the world. But, her elated voice was soothing as it was sharp in a way, as if just by hearing it I could live vicariously, experience her emotions as if they were my own. Get a taste of fruity happiness that I hadn't had the pleasure of experiencing in what felt like a very long time. I wasn't necessarily sad, just contempt, numb maybe? I couldn't understand myself even if I tried.

"Yura?" The hand on my arm startled me, but I didn't let it show. I just turned my head, watching as her smile broadened. "Goodness, you were in such a deep hole there!" She exclaimed, her blonde curls tied up with a few strays framing her love-shaped face. The others were there too, talking and laughing amongst themselves. It wasn't hard to notice him too, in his shorts surrounded by the girls, signature look on his face as a way to charm them. He just loved the attention, it was almost sickening to watch. I had never in my life met such a narcissist before him, constantly looking in mirrors and camera lenses. He liked looking at his own face so much there was a rumor that the only pictures on his phone were of himself. Not that this alarming sense of self-love ever deterred anyone from wanting to be around him, or even wanting to be him.

"Are you ok?" Linny was a nice girl, petite with small feet she always complained about. Freckles across her nose and eyes the color of lapis gemstones. If I were ever going to marry a girl, it would have been someone like Linny. Beautiful, but stupidly unaware of it.

"I'm fine" my voice, it was the first moment I realized just how hoarse it sounded. It was dry, I hadn't drunk anything since the night before. My mind had blessed me with a headache, and for some reason, the thought of drinking something felt unappealing. It's getting worse. "I just feel weird" It could have been an alarming response, but I had actually said it with the intent of putting her at ease. I wondered why I had said it like that. It was a weird feeling, but an all too familiar one that I had experienced many times before. I knew exactly what was happening to me, I just didn't know how much time I had before it overtook me. 

Should I have just left? Said I was sick and headed home. Why did I stay? Knowing exactly what was going to happen. I'm sure if I had left, no one would have even noticed my absence, I guess except for Linny, but she would have had many other people to converse with other than me. How long would it be? Seconds? Minutes? But, even though I asked myself why it was I stayed, I already knew why. 

Linny became nothing but a blur in the surrounding world as my eye's focus changed, watching as he laughed, lifting up one of the girls within the group of mindless fans to show his strength. He displayed himself shamelessly, maybe that was why it annoyed him so much. He always looked perfect, no doubt because of how often he admired himself. His dark brown hair was perfectly parted to the left, he only pushed it to that side when he was trying to show off, dark eyes not distinct from the pupil, you could hardly tell what his eyes were focussing on most of the time. The only way you could tell was the way you felt when he looked at you, a shock to the nerves that had you wanting to stand unmoving as much as it had you wanting to run as far away as fast as you could. 

He was magnetizing, not that I knew why. But, the reason I had stayed was not that I wanted to look at him or show off to him, it was because I knew I had something to prove to him. To prove that what had happened the night before impacted me as little as I claimed it did. That I didn't care about the result of the situation, and that I would act the same either way. I would come to the club anyways, because I didn't care about him, what happened, or anything else. But, at that moment it was hard to realize why I had even attempted something so foolish. I knew he didn't care either, and I already knew that whether or not I came wouldn't affect him at all. I was on my own mission, deluding myself to believe I had something to prove when there was no such thing. My eyes fell hooded, just the slightest. It was getting worse, and it would continue to do so. Why? Why am I even here?! I was nothing but background noise in other people's lives, and I knew that. But somehow I found myself unable to let go of the tiniest hint of presence I did have in the worlds of others. 

Even though I claimed to hate them. Just like the small waves of the water in the pool from human disruption, words were no longer clear in my ears, but jumbles of tones that my mind was no longer capable of deciphering. The ground was slippery with water on the tiles, and I no longer had the bodily control to maintain not falling. So, at the first chance it had, gravity crumbled me with weakened knees and loss of grip on the tiles for just a single moment which was more than enough. There was only one second between the loss of the floor and before I hit the water, one moment where I felt like I was truly falling. I hit the water with a slap, that I remember well, because it was painful. Water was a part of life, it created life, but was also very skilled and capable of destroying it too. Every breath was one closer to death, as the lungs filled and I wasn't capable of doing anything but letting the hands of fluid grip my insides and painfully squeeze. My brain felt like fire, probably with panic, not that it mattered very much. No matter how much my brain screamed, my body would never respond to its commands, I already knew that. It burned so badly, my tears melded with the chlorine into nothing, as if they had never existed. This world could be cruel, it pulled you further and further down, away from the fading light. 

Then suddenly it was over, and I was choking, coughing out the water burning in my lungs, wet hair sticking to my cheeks, and eyes blurry to the surrounding world. It was bright, much too bright. liquid leaked from the edges of my lips, along with thin ribbons of watered saliva. It was cold, but it was bright and that was all that mattered. But, at that moment, I knew I would never see these people again, I would never come back, and as I was escorted out by the paramedics that forced a mask over my face and bitter oxygen into my airways, I would never allow pettiness to make me forget what matters more than anything else. 

Me.