Fear vs love (sakusa x reader)

Ch 1

Sakusa POV:

Sigh...
"Kiyoomi, are you alright?" His mother walks up to him and places her hand on his shoulder.
He flinches but is used to his mother touching him by now.  As much as he hated it he has accepted the fact that she won't stop for she was his mother. She would constantly remind him of that. She was very supportive of him,  when it didn't come to her that is.
"Yeah.. I'm good" he looks at his mother. She looks worried... he sighs. "Are you sure honey? You look tired" "Yes! I'm fine!" He clinched his fists. No.. no I'm not fine- "ok, ok, I'm sorry." His mom let go of him and he was able to relax. "You're so tense.." she muttered to herself. "I'm going to school now."
He says as he grabs his backpack and duffle. He slings his bag over one shoulder and the duffle on the other and slips his shoes on.
"Ok. Be safe please" his mom smiles.
"Yeah I will don't worry. I'll be home later.. I have practice after school"
He walks out the front door and waves at his mom.
That took way too long.. I'm gonna be late!

Your POV:

As you walk to school you have a lot on your mind.
I wonder if Sakusa will be here today... no! What am I even thinking it would never work, it would be practically impossible..
As you get trapped in your own thoughts you don't notice a very stressed Sakusa brush past you.
"Huh?" "Oh, Sakusa!"
You speed up to walk next to him. "Have you started on the project for science class yet?" You try to make conversation.
"... do I know you?" He doesn't even look up.
A sharp pain shoots through your chest. "Um I'm l/n from school.. I'm in most of your classes" he looks at you.
"Oh- you.." he gets a little flustered but you can't tell because of his face mask. He quickly looks down again.
Did I say something wrong? I don't know what I did but I should probably go now he seems uncomfortable.
"See you in class I guess!" You cheerfully skip along the sidewalk. That was the longest time you have ever spoken with him or even been next to him. You smile as you head to you and Sakusas high school, Itachiyama Institute, a private school in Tokyo known for its amazing boys volleyball team. And of course Sakusa was one of the best players on the team. He was a whole different person on the court. So determined, passionate, strong, she could go on and on. She wasn't a simp but she really looked up to him. You had moved to Tokyo in your 2nd year of middle school. You also played volleyball back then. You were a great libreo who could make a mean set as well. But after you got severely injured in your second to last game of your 3rd year you hung up your jersey. You feel like you let your team down. Even now with you fully healed you still are  scared to play again. You don't have the full strength and stamina you used to have. The side affects of your injury are enough to scare you enough. It's not even that your afraid to get hurt again, well you are but you will never admit it, but that you would let your team down again and feel like a failure. The doctors said you would have some trauma but you didn't realize how bad it was until recently.

You walk along the sidewalk, one leg on the road, one leg on the sidewalk going up and down, alternating legs.

Sakusa makes you want to play again and but you keep getting hurt again and again, time after time. Of course nothing serious, just a bruised elbow here or there but it's enough to scare you and you don't want to practice anymore.
You guess you could say you have a little crush on him.