When Perfect isn't Enough

The Mistake

TW: Yelling, swearing, violence, mentions of suicide, and self-harm

     Teru watched as Akane gasped, he had just stabbed him with his sword and Akane was now fading away. Teru pulled his sword out and said, "I'd like to say I'm sorry, but you're a super natural. You'll only cause trouble," as Akane faded away leaving no trace behind. Suddenly, Kou-kun and his friend Nene-chan opened the door with a slam. "Ni-chan ... what did you do? Akane senpai never hurt anyone," Kou-kun said as he looked on at Teru with disbelief. Teru just looked back at him, he didn't see anything wrong with Akane-kun dying, this is what he had been trained to do. Ever since he was little he was always told to kill the super naturals no matter what. " M-Minamoto senpai why? Are you a monster?" Nene-chan asked in a shocked whisper. Teru couldn't believe what he was hearing. He did this all the time, they only cared now when it was their friend.

     Suddenly, a harsh voice broke through their thoughts, "Minamoto senpai, who the fuck do you think you are? You are a terrible person who doesn't deserve to live," Aoi-chan said with malice in her eyes. She then walked forward and slapped Teru across the face, before she turned around and walked out of the room. Nene-chan soon followed after with tears rolling down her face, leaving only Kou-kun alone with Teru. "Ni-chan, he wasn't bad ... WHY DID YOU DO THAT!" Kou-kun yelled suddenly, Teru stepped back in surprised. Kou-kun stepped forward and continued yelling at Teru, asking him why, why would he commit such a disastrous crime, how could he take another person life. Kou-kun continued getting angrier until he looked like he was about to slap Teru as well, but instead Kou-kun turned away from Teru and walked away without saying another word. Teru was confused, Kou-kun had never cared before, why did he care now. And why had Aoi-chan slapped him, Akane was a super natural, a monster who only caused trouble for him. Teru then quickly walked home, thinking about what had just happened.

     When Teru  opened the door to his house he was met with silence, he then heard his father call to him, "Teru please come into the kitchen now,". Teru walked in and saw Kou-kun standing by their father while holding their little sister in his arms. "Teru it has come to my attention that you killed a human," His father said but Teru quickly cut in. "He was a super natural, he was only of the schools mysteries not a human," Teru said as he tried to explain. Kou-kun glared coldly at him, "He would have become a full human again after he finished high school," Kou-kun said his words cutting into Teru's skin like a knife. "Teru I will not stand for this behavior from you, as of now you are suspended from you exorcist responsibilities until further notice," My father said, as he looked at him with disgust. Teru's eyes widen in surprised, he tried to convince his father to rethink his decision, but suddenly Kou-kun stepped in front blocking his path. "And just so you know, you won't be taking care of our Little Princess anymore. We just can't trust you, incase you harm her," Kou-kun said as he turned away and stalked off with Teru's little sister. Teru's father then left the room and Teru was once again alone. Teru was shocked and could only stumble up to his room and close the door before he collapsed on his bed.

      Teru felt his breath catch in his throat, how could this happen, his exorcist responsibilities revoked? Didn't they need him? He tried to hold back his tears but was unsuccessful, the hot liquid ran down his cheeks, as he held back a sob. He couldn't cry, couldn't be sad, he had to be perfect. He couldn't mess up, and yet he had, he'd failed, he was worthless. He really did deserve to die. God he couldn't breath, his own brother hated him now. He had always tried to protect everyone, that's what he was told he had to do, and now he was the one who had to pay for it. Teru then shakily got up from his bed and walked into his bathroom. He needed to calm down, he needed to stop crying. He didn't deserve to cry, crying is for good people, people who are good enough, unlike him.

     He then turned on his shower with cold water, he undressed and then pulled open the draw under his sink. Teru picked up a razor from inside the draw and held it to the light, you could still see a little of dried blood on it from the last time he had used it. He didn't always turn to self-harm in times like these but, recently he had been screwing up a lot, especially today, he just needed to release the pain. Teru then held he razor to his arm and began making cuts. They were quite shallow at first, but continued getting deeper as they traveled up his arm. He continued cutting until his arm had several drops of blood on it and he began feeling the stings from the cuts. He then got in the shower, and let the water run down his arm, it hurt, everything hurt: his head, his arms, and his heart. He then let the tears fall from his eyes again as they were lost in the water from the shower.

     Teru then thought, he thought about his life and everything that had happened today, how could he fuck things up so badly. Why did no one understand anymore, the only person who had truly understood him was dead now. Teru then suddenly let out a heavy sob, his throat ached and his heart hurt. He remembered his mother, her gentle smile, and the way she held his face. He also remembered the pain, he had lost her. The doctor said her disease was incurable but maybe if he had worked harder, he could have found a cure. Maybe, if he had gotten the super naturals to talk more they would have told him where the cure was, but they didn't. They with held the information and took the one person who ever understood him. That's why they were all monsters, that's why they all deserved to die. His father had told him that only the super naturals knew how to cure his mother, so Teru had spent countless night as a child looking for super naturals who would help. But they all refused and his mother dies, it was all his fault.

     Teru finished his shower and dried his eyes, he then wrapped his arm in a bandage and acted lie nothing had happened. That's how it was for him, to pretend, pretend to be perfect. He then layed on his bed and watched his window, he usually did this. Sleeping had always been hard for him, but tonight was especially hard, his mind was so loud. So full of the events of today and all the things he had done wrong. At midnight he gave up on trying to go to sleep and climbed out his window. He then went to the top of the school, and spent the rest of the night trying to think of a reason to not jump.

                             I hope you all have a nice day and liked the first part of this story. I worked hard on it, but I understand if you don't like it. Feel free to comment, star, or follow, anything is allowed.

                                                                                - Useless