The Scariest Thing

Andrew tried his best to calm his nerves as he stepped outside. The heat from the day lingered in air even though the sun had set long ago. The night sky was clear, and the moon hung stationary like a great white eye. Andrew felt like he was on stage under a white-hot spotlight. He ran the script through his head one more time while mustering the courage to look Sarah in the eye. He just had to say eight simple words: I think we should go out some time. I think. We should. Go out. Some. Time. The words were easy to force out, but it was maintaining eye contact that took real effort. Sarah finished locking the door to the bowling alley, sliding the bolt home with a satisfying clunk. She turned to face Andrew who was standing on the curb.

Once he saw her move, he spun around and turned his attention back to the sky. His heart felt like it was bouncing all over his chest. He started inspecting the cracks on the road.

"Hey Butterfingers!" Sarah said quickly and tossed the keys to him. Surprised by the sudden noise, Andrew turned right away to feel the keys bounce off his shoulder and clatter to the pavement. His throat tightened when, for a split second, he locked eyes with her. It wasn't going to be as easy as he thought. Ever since he started planning to ask Sarah out, he had noticed that their conversations went downhill fast. His tongue would slide around his mouth, his heart became heavy, and his mind went blank.

"I don't usually expect to have keys thrown at me." He said sarcastically as he bent down to retrieve them. The eight words roared in his brain. He wondered if she noticed his distress. He straightened, saw her looking at him, and directed his eyes to her forehead.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to hit you." Sarah said as she walked towards him. The yellow light of the streetlamp turned her hair gold. "But it is nice to know that I am a wonderful judge of character." She filled the sentence with sarcasm. Andrew smiled to his feet.

"Maybe you should try handing them to people next time. Or at least give them more warning." He spoke. His voice shook slightly towards the end of the sentence. He tried his best at banter: "You could also just throw decently too." He teased. Sarah reached the curb and stopped beside Andrew. They stood facing the empty road. She looked over at him with a knowing smile. He made eye contact with her for a second and felt blood rush into his cheeks. The fluttering of his heart grew stronger. He fought the urge to run away.

"You've been weird lately." She said, pushing his shoulder. He went back to looking at the road. At her touch his heart shuddered. He felt like he was going to pass out. "What's up?"

"Oh, uh." He thought of those eight words. "I just have had a lot of schoolwork to do. It's been stressful." He forced a polite laugh and rocked on his heels. The night was silent around them. Sarah returned a chuckle.

"Yeah," she drew it out, "schoolwork, huh?" Sarah wasn't an idiot. She had spent the day at work with him piecing together the truth. "You sure it isn't someone on the brain?" She asked bluntly. Andrew felt his heart stop, drop, and revive in an instant. He gulped.

"Uh, no." Remember the words! Say the words! Do it now! "No-no one in particular." He laughed it away. The words he wanted to say played across the tip of his tongue. He felt them rise in his throat and for a second, he almost let loose. Then they flew back into the depths of his chest, and he uttered: "Just school." The minute the words left his lips he realized what he'd done.

"Oh well that sucks." Sarah seemed surprised. Andrew's chest stopped fluttering and grew cold. "Well, I hope you figure it out, man." She said quietly. An awkward silence settled over the two. Andrew fought against the urge to run as his mind raced to find a way to turn it around. He could just say the words. It all hinged on those words. But they refused to come out of the hole they'd hidden themselves in. They stood there in silence while Andrew fought to bring his feelings to the surface. Eventually Sarah's mom pulled up and before he could bring himself to do anything Sarah opened the door. The awkward silence was broken with an awkward goodbye. Sarah radiated disappointment as she shut the door on Andrew. The car drove away. Andrew's heart deflated like a balloon into his gut as he watched the brake lights disappear into the night.