BarDa/Filay One Shot AUs

Behind Her Eyes

No one ever saw me like you do 

All the things that I could add up to 

She carefully held my hand, pulling me towards a place so familiar to me. My heart started to race, constricting me to take a breath. 

We stopped in the middle of a garden, the smell of peonies surrounding us. The place still looked the same, not a lot has changed. Except that this time, it was her who is with me. She lead me to sat down on one of the couches, excitedly looking around. She sat down with me, smiling big, happiness written all over her face. The flower in her hand that I brought for her, carefully clutched onto her hand. 

"Nagustuhan mo ba? Surprise." Barbie softly says, showing off her toothy smile. Her cheeky smile, red painting her cheeks, it radiates happiness, joy, and bliss. I looked up into her eyes, and my heart ache. Her eyes wrinkles with the way she smiled so big. Her eyes sparkles love evident on it. 

How I wish I could reciprocate that happiness. 

"Bakit mo 'to ginawa?" I asked. I know she means well. But being in this place, it haunts me. It taunts me. It hurts me. And I do not want to hurt her as well.  

I noticed her twitched a bit, she held my hand, and looked up to me. There she goes again, with her eyes speaking to me. 

 "Nabanggit kasi sa akin ni Christian na you used to be here. Memorable daw itong place na to sayo kaya naisipan kong gawan ka ng surprise. I know this place holds memories of Shuvee." 

 Shuvee. 

 I have not heard of that name for a long time. It still sends shivers down my spine. All the walls I built up to stay strong came crashing down on me. Everything is overwhelming all of a sudden. The smell of peonies, the breezy air hitting my skin, her looking at me with those eyes. Shuvee's eyes. 

 "Dapat hindi na tayo nagpunta rito." I said, my voice suddenly ice cold that I myself got shivers down my spine for the nth time.I never knew just what a smile was worthBut your eyes say everything without a single wordHer smile faltered for a bit, confusion and hurt written all over her angelic face. I know from this on, everything will come falling apart. 

 "T-teka sorry. Ginawa ko lang naman kasi to kasi this might help you move on." She says. I noticed her throat bobbed, a sign she is trying to gulped the emotions that are about to spill any moment from now. 

 "Move on?" I said, eyebrows knitted together. She tried to hold my hand but I flinched away. "Move on from what?!""From everything!" She said, voice a bit shrilly, laced with pain. "From everything that is holding you back. I am hoping this will help you. To be okay." 

 Her eyes started to water, lips shaking from trying to hold back the tears and emotions. I wanted to look away from her eyes but it's like her eyes held me captive. For the second time. 

 "Bakit? Ano bang alam mo? Alam mo ba ang lahat ng pinag daanan ko? Please lang. Kahit sino walang nangealam sa akin at sa emosyon ko. Kahit si Shuvee..—" 

 "I am not her!" Barbie cut me off. Tears started to fall from her eyes and her voice started to shake. "Hindi ako si Shuvee, David.""Oo! Hindi nga ikaw si Shuvee! You are not her. And you will never be her!" 

 "Patay na siya, David! Shuvee is dead and you know that! Andito ako oh!" She wiped her tear stained cheeks, her eyes like waterfalls, tears continuously falling. I am having a hard time breathing myself. Everything is too painful. 

 "Akala mo mapapalitan mo siya dahil ikaw na ang nag mamay ari ng mga mata niya?!"There it goes. The words I dreaded to say but it spilled like coffee in a rug. That will stain. Hard, painful to be removed. 

 'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me 

 She stared at me, mouth agape, eyes full of pain.It took her a second to recover. 

"Wala na siya, David. Wala na si Shuvee!" She cried. 

 "Nandito siya. Kasi nandito siya!" I yelled, pointing to my chest, where my heart is. 

 "Kung nandyan siya. Nasaan ako? Anong lugar ko sayo na gusto ka lang mahalin? Anong lugar ko sa buhay mo?!" she asked, voice stern but full of hurt, laced with agony. We stared at each other for a moment before she turned around and walked away. Tears started to fall as I watch her walk away.