When The Sun Goes Down - Alex Turner (Arctic Monkeys)

1. Pricks shouldn't drink

I couldn't stop my eyes from looking at him. I continued to dry clean glasses while he talked with the blonde, model-looking girl whose name was probably not important. I didn't know it, and neither did he. Alex rubbed a hand on his greasy hair and the girl looked stupidly delighted. It was disgusting.

I took my sight off Alex Turner as he and the girl began to kiss. Even more disgusting. Just like the night before, and the one before that, my mind had only one thought: why did douchebag Alex Turner have everyone eating off the palm of his hand as if it carried gold instead of dog shit? But every night I concluded that I didn't know, maybe there was simply no logical explanation for it.

Alex and his bird dragged their feet to the bar and he leaned on it. He gave me a smirk, like knowing it made my blood boil to the point evaporation was one degree away.

"We'll have two shots of vodka," he said.

I looked at him. "Pay first. You don't want Henry taking your wallet after he drags your black-out self out the pub, do you?"

Mr. Shut Your Mouth switched his sight from me to the girl that was grabbing onto his arm like a koala would. She stared at me blankly. He pressed his tongue against his cheek and pulled out his black leather wallet from somewhere in his jeans.

"I walked out of the pub, you know. That time."

"Sure you did, Turner, it wasn't like you were high and drunk and an idiot, but who's counting? I'm sure plenty of people are there to remind you."

I gave them their drinks and walked away. He couldn't be more of a bother. Every single fucking day he showed up and couldn't seem able to leave. I knew the drill. 'Oh, yes, I am mister bad-boy, bad-influence, sunglasses indoors, Alex Turner and I go to the Electricity pub to find some chicks I can flirt with for the night and then dump because I'm too cool for a relationship but not too cool to leave the room looking decent and sober and instead I choose to have this miserable life. Oh, but don't forget to go there every day to torment River and act like more of an ass just for the pleasure of doing so.'

I wanted to quit so badly just to avoid being in his presence. But that would give him some satisfaction I did not want to see plastered on his face, and he wasn't even that important for me to alter the course of my life. He was in a band, for Christ's sake, why didn't he tour and all somewhere else? Why did he think leaving pure and young to pursue some singing wish and returning to Sheffield as a drunk was a good idea? If I only had the chance to do that —leaving, not the singing part, because I was never good at that— I would have fled a long time ago without looking back. But here he was.

It made me sick in the stomach, to see someone so different from a person I thought I knew. A decade ago I wouldn't have believed that the short-haired, baby-face, grandpa-dressed, and overall simple, sweet Alex would turn into that. If I had, I wouldn't have come close to him in the first place. I wouldn't have stretched my hand and smiled with the gaps of my missing teeth showing. I wouldn't have laughed at his silly jokes with his silly humor. I wouldn't have talked about him to my mom and most importantly I wouldn't have introduced him to Nick. No Nick meant the Arctic Monkeys would remain without a bassist, no bassist meant they had nothing to keep timing, no good timing meant disaster, and disaster would take them far away from the top charts of the UK. No tours, no fame, no stupid Alex.

But I did all of that and it resulted in my worst nightmare haunting me on vivid flesh and bone. The nightmare where he was so close but so far away. It was all alright if I thought he had fucked up his life because it was his and none of it was my fault, I didn't make Alex take decisions. But the thing I could not stand was his attitude, the way he talked and how he flirted but in a way that you could never be sure if he was bored while doing so, if he was actually interested, or if he only did it because he could without trying hard.