Homesick at Space Camp

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"Do you ever just look up at the sky and wonder? About anything, just question things? Your existence? What's out there?"

She sighed and tuned to face me, the red and white picnic blanket making crunching noises against the wet grass.

I stayed on my back, trying to wonder. My mind was going a million miles a minute. Does she like me? Is she okay? Is she an angel? What was the last thing I ate?

I smiled, feeling the cool breeze whisper over my skin. "No."

She admired me. "I do. Don't you worry, Patrick. One day, you'll see me all over television. I'll be out there, you know it. I'll be in space. You can come with me if you'd like."

We were just sixteen that night. I had concluded that yes, I did love Lorraine. I was only sixteen, damnit. While she was fantasizing about being shit off into space, I was fantasizing about having her under me; is getting married and having kids. Maybe if mom had bought me one of those Nintendo consoles we wouldn'tve gotten here. The scary part is that I'm not sure if I'd have it any other way.