Ana and the Koalas

pack ur tissues

it all began with the bb cream.
ana luísa borin trevisan lived in the west of brazil, where the land is infertile and dry. she was unable to tan, and as a white girl, ended up looking like a fUCKING LOBSTER. but there were no shops in the west, so she decided to migrate.
she appeared in rio, where there was a favela. she slept under four sticks and a piece of iron but one day she woke up and someone had stolen her roof how sad,,,there wasn't even a chance of self help, which is the only thing that people living in favelas do because they are too lazy to get a fucking job.
there was a landslide one day and ana sat on it until she ended up in the amazon rainforest.
there, she met a panda in the shrub layer, a tarantula (who bit her and gave her an eyebrow piercing that overflowed with pus) on the forest floor, and a death spider evil rabbit monkey in the emergent layer.
then a tribe found her, but she got kicked out after seven minutes because they hated her piercings and she was white anyway.
then, she built a treehouse in the canopy. as she had lost all her clothes but her skirt, she wanted to be the last person to go into the house (but it was ok bc no one else was there lmao)
when she reached the top and sat in the treehouse, she said 'oh shit, i forgot the damn ladder' (how she got up there in the first place is irrelevant fuck off)
so then she slid down the tree, getting splinters in her butt. because she was hugging the tree, a family of koalas took her in. she told them that the tribe had shaved her and she was actually a koala so they were okay with that.
ana luísa borin trevisan died while trying to live a koala life and eat a koala diet, and all she wanted in the first place was bb cream.
the moral of the story is: buy some fucking bb cream before the koalas find you.