My Own Deep Thoughts

Destiny

They say small things lead one thing to another and that everything's connect.

From the moment my soul entered this world my destiny was written in the stars. Start to align with each other, like the path given to me that I never notice.

I just look at small things walking down this path till I'm at the end of it that I notice how everything is connected perfectly.

How it started when I was 5 to my highschool years.

From my childhood friend
To her introducing me to someone you once dated
To me meeting you without knowing the connections till we got close.

From the moment you sat next to us on the first day of highschool. To the moment my friend brought my notice to you and I called you over.

From your first thoughts being "She looks mean"
To us becoming friends to best friends
To your thoughts then becoming
"She's the sweetest person alive"

And now as we stand and destiny has done its job your last words to me is a simple "Thank you for every experience you gave me"
Instead of "I hate you"

I wonder why.
Why I was destined to meet you
And for you to be taken away from me.

I wonder why this feeling I feel today is the same I felt 2 years ago.

I wonder why I wished for both of you to say "I hate you"

Maybe it would make me feel better. Knowing I wasn't right. Knowing losing you mightve atleast been something I couldn't control.

Instead I know maybe if I didn't feel so sensitive and scared I would've still had you as a friend. A true friend.

Was destiny trying to test me so cruelly?
Knowing whenever I get close to someone who never judges me I get attached and then distance myself whenever something small happens. Knowing I can't make my body act normal again near them.

Destiny?
Is this where it ends between us?
Another shitty lesson?
I can't believe I went through a same lesson again.

Just please Destiny
Don't do this to me again.
I can't handle it,
I can't lose another thing.
Please.

Thank you.