Ordinary Confession | HoonSuk [✓]

01

“Are you free right now?” I asked after I gathered all my courage to make this call. No answer from the person I called. I checked the call that I made. Making sure that I didn’t dial the wrong number or something. It is the right number. The right person I’m trying to reach out to. But why is there no response? “Hello? Hyung?”

“Yes. Jihoon-ah?” this voice. Just hearing his voice makes my heart beat so fast. As if someone could hear my heartbeat if they’re near me. I put my hand on my left chest. It’s not physically hurt but it felt like it’s hurt because my heart keeps on pounding hard and fast.

“So?” I asked him again. I just wanted him to answer my question. There’s more. A lot of things I want to ask. I want to tell him. But for now, I’ll just ask him if he’s free right now. If he’s not free, I’ll just apologize for bothering him and hang up. But what if he said that he’s free? What would I want to say first if he ever said that he’s free right now?

There’s too many things in my head. I haven’t even sorted it out. Why the hell did I even decide to call him before making any plan first? But I wanted to see him. I wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to know if he’s free right now.

Stupid Park Jihoon. What are you? A teenager?

“So what?” Hyunsuk hyung asked. Eh? Did he not hear my question earlier? Is that why he didn’t even respond when he answered my call earlier?

“I asked you earlier. Are you free right now?” I repeated my question.

“What are you going to do if I’m free right now?” Hyunsuk hyung asked. I scratched my head. It’s not even that itchy but I don’t know. I’m nervous? Maybe?

“Um.. I was wondering if it’s possible for us to meet,” I said. The words came out from my mouth, one by one as I thought about the response I should give to Hyunsuk hyung. Yeah. I really didn’t know why the hell I made this call before I planned anything. What if Hyunsuk hyung is busy right now? I’ve wasted his precious time to answer my unplanned call. Ugh!

“And why are you wanting us to meet?” Hyunsuk hyung asked. Is he teasing me? Did he actually know my feelings and try to play with my heart? No. Hyunsuk hyung is not that kind of person. He’s too kind to even do that. Or he just doesn’t want to see me? Now. Why am I being overthinking like this? But first. Let’s answer Hyunsuk hyung’s question. Why did I want us to meet? Because I missed him. “You miss me?”

Wait! Did I say that out loud?! I thought I was just thinking about it.

“Eh?”

“Did you say that you miss me?” Hyunsuk hyung asked again. Oh no! This is not right. What if Hyunsuk hyung felt uncomfortable by me saying those words?

“No. I mean. It’s nothing much. I just wanted to see you. We haven’t met that much since I started working,” I said. This is okay, right? This answer.

“Oh,” Hyunsuk hyung said at the end of the line. He’s okay with this, right? Then I heard Hyunsuk hyung chuckling. Oh how I wanted to see it. I want to see Hyunsuk hyung right now. I want to know what expression he’s making. Is he okay with me calling him like this? Or does he dislike it? What made him chuckle like that? Is he watching something funny? Or is it my words? Maybe I should video call him instead of voice calling him like this. So I can see his face clearly. The face that I missed.

But what if he doesn’t want to see my face? What if he didn’t want to even answer my call if I video called him? Or what if he’s not comfortable with video calling? But the same as voice calling. Why didn't I send him a text message instead of calling him right away? He probably just wants to not hurt my feelings. That's why he answered my call even though he didn't really want to.

“W-what? What is it?” I asked, almost stuttered.

“No. It’s just unexpected. I really thought that you said that you miss me,” Hyunsuk hyung said while still chuckling. His chuckling voice sounds extremely attractive too. I really love this man.

“Hyung~ Don’t just laugh,” I said.

“Then? What do you want me to do?” Hyunsuk hyung asked while still chuckling. Is it the fact that I am saying that I miss him, really that funny to him? Or his thought that he heard me saying I miss him, well he actually heard it correctly but I would deny it anyway, is that funny to him? If it’s the second one, I’ll definitely tell him that I miss him every single time just to see, to hear him laughing. As much as I wanted him to keep chuckling attractively like this, I want an answer.

“Can we meet today?” I asked.

“Oh? Today?” Hyunsuk hyung asked. 

“Why? You’re busy?” I asked.

“It’s not that. I didn’t expect that you wanted to see me today,” Hyunsuk hyung said.

“If you’re busy, it’s okay. We can meet another time,” I said. Mentally, sighing. Hearing Hyunsuk hyung’s response, it totally screamed that he’s actually very busy right now but still sparing his precious time to answer this random kid’s call.

“But you’ll probably not be free then,” Hyunsuk hyung said.

“It’s totally alright, hyung,” I said. “I just-”

“Do you want to see me or not?” Hyunsuk hyung cut my sentence, making me a little lost.

“I want to see you,” I said.

“Is 7 pm alright with you?” Hyunsuk hyung asked.

“EH?!”

“I repeat. Is 7 pm alright with you?” Hyunsuk hyung repeated his question. It’s not like I didn’t hear his words. I just couldn’t believe that he’s setting a time to see me right away.

“Today? Is it okay with you?” I asked.

“I’ll finish my works like in 30 minutes and I have some stuff to do after that. 7 pm should be alright. Are you up for a movie? There’s a new movie I wanted to watch. Are you interested? If not, I'll just watch the movie another day,” Hyunsuk hyung said.

“I’m in. I’m okay with the movie,” I said. Well. It’s not like I'm really interested in watching the movie. I know Hyunsuk hyung’s preference. It’s probably Marvel. And I did saw that there’s a new Marvel’s movie. Spiderman? If I am not mistaken. But I’ll go anyway because I’ll be spending my time with Hyunsuk hyung. I’ll be fine with anything.

“Really? I really thought that you’re going to say no,” Hyunsuk hyung said.

“Why? You don’t want to watch a movie with me? I’m okay with it. If you want to watch it another day, not with me, I’ll be fine too,” I said. But it definitely not okay if you doesn’t want to see me at all. I let out a soft sigh. But there’s a high possibility that he doesn’t even want to see me at all. But because he’s too kind, he just couldn’t decline it when I asked him to meet. I really have a huge crush on this kind, attractive and thoughtful man.

“Yah! The way you talk makes me seem like I don't want to see you. I just try to plan for something else if you don't want to watch the movie. I know that you’re not really into Marvel, right? So, we can do something else if you don't want to watch it,” Hyunsuk hyung said, See! He’s really thoughtful. It makes me feel bad somehow. That I didn’t share the same interest as he is.

“I’m fine with anything, hyung. As long as we’re going to meet,” I said. Did I sound desperate? I hope I don’t.

“Alright. This time, you’re going to accompany me to watch the Marvel movie. Next time, if you have any movie you want to watch, I’ll accompany you too,” Hyunsuk hyung said. “Okay?”

“Okay,”

“So. See you at 7 pm. I’ll send you the QR for the ticket later. Don’t be late,” Hyunsuk hyung said.

“I won’t,” I said. “Thanks, hyung,”

“See you later,” Hyunsuk hyung said. “Don’t forget to dress up warmly,”

“Hm. You too,” I said. Then, Hyunsuk hyung ended the call. I kept staring at my phone’s screen even after minutes Hyunsuk hyung ended the call. Did I just secure a movie date with my crush? Like.. Can You believe it? Because I can’t. Am I dreaming? I’m really going to go on a movie date with Hyunsuk hyung?