When you left the earth surface and vanished. I felt it. It took me a while to realize that you were gone. But honey, I knew. Your weary soul departed from my fingertips and I, so selfish thinking of myself didn't have a chance to say goodbye. I miss you. Do you miss you? Do you miss me? Do you miss us? Remember when I told you that poetry was like a soft whisper? Because I do. And it hurts to know that no one will laugh the way you do. I remember the day you told me I needed to get better. And I said, "I can't... I'm depressed." I recall that day as if it was the last day of my existence, like it was the last day that I was sixteen. The old me is dead. And the new me was born again, died again, born again. And now she is dead. I'm sorry.
This was my apology letter I tried to write a million times. This was my sorry ass love letter that I written over a hundred times. This is my, "I'm so sorry I'm me" letter. Because I am sorry I am me. Not for the things I've said, but how I've said them, and not for my actions but how I acted. You were my friend. Even when I tried too hard, you held my hand and told me that I didn't have to.
