Season 3 Supergirl Lena Versus The Universe

Chapter 49

Hope's cries woke Haven up in the early hours of the morning, long before even Will would be out of bed. It was still dark outside, and the house was completely silent other than for the newborn's cries.

Yawning widely, Haven pulled her exhausted body from the bed. She was still incredibly sore, and so it was incredibly gingerly that she made her way across the room to lean over Hope's crib.

"Hey sweetie." She said tiredly, lifting the wailing infant up to her shoulder. She was only three days old and boy, did she have a set of lungs. "You're hungry aren't you?"

Sitting down in the moon chair that occupied the corner of her room, Haven got Hope settled in the crook of her arm before pulling up her shirt to allow Hope to latch onto her breast. It took a few tries, but finally, Hope was happily having her early morning snack, her little fingers splayed across Haven's chest.

Watching her daughter eat, Haven felt daunted by the future ahead of her. Her parents hadn't been kidding when they told her it was going to be hard work. Three days in and she was exhausted, covered in drool, puke, and God knows where else, and feeling more miserable than ever. She loved Hope, but she yearned desperately for Connor. Part of her was wishing that the funeral would hurry up and be over and done with, just so she could have her closure and start moving on.

"I really miss your daddy." She said softly, stroking Hope's cheek with the tip of her finger. "He was a wonderful person... he would've adored you."

Shifting slightly so that Hope was held a little more securely, she smiled down at her baby girl. Her eyes were filling with tears, an occurrence that happened so often now that she didn't even try to fight it anymore.

"He was so excited about you. But he wasn't happy with his mom and dad. And so he's gone to heaven. I hope he feels safer up there. I hope he's happier up there. He's your guardian angel, baby girl, and he's always going to be looking out for you."

A tear ran down her cheek, dripping down onto the front of her shirt and soaking there. Wiping her eyes with her free hand, Haven swallowed thickly, gently patting Hope's back as she ate.

"You're changing my life every day, baby girl. I hope it will always be for the best."

"So, JJ, when can we come and visit Haven and Hope?"

Looking up from her paperwork, JJ sat back in her chair, setting the pen down on the desk.

Whilst Hotch had given her the offer of taking a couple of weeks away from work when Haven gave birth, JJ had elected to continue working, but only work a couple of days a week until Haven was comfortable and in a routine. What she had forgotten to account for was how exhausted she was going to be.

"Probably not within the next couple of weeks." She said honestly. "Haven's not coping very well... she's still grieving badly... and I know she would feel like she has to pretend everything is fine for a couple of hours, and I just think that visitors are going to put extra strain on her right now."

Morgan nodded sadly. "Is she going back to school as soon as school starts?"

JJ shrugged. "We'll see. It's her senior year, so I'm going to try and get her to go, but if she's really not going to cope, we'll let her stay home for a little longer."

"How's Hope?" Kate asked, now setting her own work aside too.

JJ smiled happily. "She is really cute. Will and Henry are smitten. As much as I didn't want to be Grandma... I love her so much, she's a beautiful baby. Very placid too, she's happy to just eat and sleep."

"Hopefully everything balances out for Haven soon then." Kate replied. "Having a baby is hard enough when you're an adult in a committed relationship... I can't imagine having had Lauren with Haven's circumstances."

"I know... I'm trying to help her and be patient, but it's hard because none of us can truly understand what she's feeling. And the hormones are not helping." JJ added. "But she's my daughter... I know, in the end, she'll be fine."

"And are you?"

Reid's sudden question caught JJ by surprise. But with a small smile, she nodded.

"I'm coping."

"She's giving me shady eyes... oh no, now it's just a 'what the fuck' face... and back to throwing shade."

Haven had to laugh at her brother's running commentary. He had been cuddling Hope most of the afternoon, and found it very entertaining to see what kinds of faces she made while she was both sleeping and awake.

"Major shade, major shade." Henry said suddenly.

Haven laughed, getting up and moving to the other side of her brother so she could see Hope's face properly.

"That's definitely her 'I know what you did' face." She giggled as Hope seemed to squint at her uncle Henry. "She knows what you did last summer."

"How, she didn't even exist until like January." Henry chuckled.

Hope wriggled, her little face screwing up in effort, before she started to cry.

"That's her 'Mommy, I just shit a nuclear bomb' face." Henry said.

"Can you...?" Haven trailed off.

"I've never changed a diaper before." Henry said quickly.

"I'll help you. You'll probably have to do it at some point." Haven added.

Henry took a moment, before looking down at Hope, who was wailing persistently in his arms, and nodding.

And so he found himself changing the diaper of a wriggly little newborn, Haven giving instructions and a helping hand whenever he found himself flailing. Before too long, Hope was clean, quiet, and content, cuddled up against Henry's shoulder as he and Haven moved back to the couch.

"Good job Uncle Henry. Now you can use that against her when she's sixteen and a terror. 'Don't forget kid, I've wiped your ass'." Haven teased.

Henry laughed, rubbing Hope's back to soothe her off to sleep.

Quieting down, he studied his sister carefully.

"Are you okay?" He asked gently.

Haven shrugged.

"Not really." She said, not seeing any benefit in lying. "But I keep reminding myself to be happy. I just need time, I think."

Putting his free arm around Haven's shoulders, Henry gives her a gentle squeeze before echoing words he had heard his mother say to Haven once before.

"You're a LaMontagne, milagro. You'll be just fine."