one shot - sometimes love is letting go

the broken hearts club

"And we talk until we think we might just kill ourselves, But then we laugh until it disappears"

It is two days before Nini leaves Salt Lake City, the big move to LA had been quite the heavy decision on her, a choice she had made on her own nonetheless; her mothers had suggested she finish senior year at home, perhaps they were simply trying to protect her, but ultimately they supported whatever choice she made.

She went back to camp shallow lake for an evening a little over a month ago, she wasn't particularly sure why. She hadn't planned it for very long, nor had she discussed it with any of her friends; if she's being honest she was looking for a sign, whether she should leave or stay.

Of course through those few weeks she had written to Kourtney, even though they hadn't talked much since they were both busy having their own summers. She watched the show, admiring from afar. She had known by the time Kourtney had finished singing let it go that she was going to leave, she tried not to think about it until she was actually leaving camp.

She slipped out after Ricky's performance, she would have liked to believe it had no emotional impact on her, that she was indifferent to it, however far that was from the reality of the situation. Nonetheless there was pride in watching him sing, a sense of peace that only remained till the last note, awe in how he'd grown and who he was now.

She hadn't said goodbye, hadn't interacted with anyone other than Miss Jenn and Kourtney; which wasn't her intention when she came to camp, to be fair she wasn't sure what her intention was beyond giving out opening night cards for potentially the last time.

And so that night she went back home, slipping into his orange and brown hoodie like every night the past few weeks, trying to write. The performance at shallow lake had started trending, Nini saw it pop up on her feed, the cast had posted too, celebration pictures and heartfelt anecdotes; perhaps she would fade easily out of the group.

A month after that the trailer for their show had come out, Nini had watched it, it seemed like quite the mess, however she was her typical self, she had sent love and loads of messages through the drama club group chat, congratulating everyone.
Kourtney had been slightly aloof since opening night, distant rather, but it was expected with the distance and their busy schedules. Nini tried to ignore the feeling of being left out that crept up her chest, it was suffocating.

Of course by then she had told a few people she was moving and it had spread around, Nini had stayed in LA as long as she could; she knew she had to go back and get her stuff and transfer papers and tie up her loose ends, she had tried to push it away, delay it as long as she could. Her moms had even offered to just go alone at some point, bring her stuff back for her.

But of course, that wouldn't have been right. So now here she sat, in the empty school gym at seven in the morning.

She came back a week ago, Ashlyn had wanted to throw a big farewell party, a last good old theatre get together with their board game and music as usual; but Nini had turned the offer down. It was far too awkward now she had thought. Still she met Ashlyn Carlos and Seb multiple times, they had gone out a few times and had one big movie night sleepover.

She had met Kourtney too, almost everyday since she was here, even if it only for a little bit.

Now she has two days left; school starts next week so she has to be back in the next few days. She's supposed to meet the whole theatre group this afternoon, well most of them, some were still on vacation. But when she woke up this morning she sat in her room that was now all packed up in boxes and she couldn't bare the feeling; so she left a note for her moms and left the house.