Chapter 1: A Deal With God

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Hazel eyes, burning bright with grief and fury, glossed over with tears as cold metal slipped through your arm. Two words hissed out of their clenched teeth, seeping promises of hate and agony.

"Say it."

You looked on with indifference, not even flinching when the knife managed to dig unto the bone. Another stab. This time, it was your shoulder.

"Say. It." They were audibly sobbing, warm tears landed on your cheeks, one was even on your bruised lips. Still, you did not say anything.

"Please.."

You didn't reply. After all, the dead shouldn't be talking.

When you first woke up, you knew instantly you were dead. Red bloomed from your body, your torso and arms was a bloody mess, ribs sticking out, muscle torn into pieces, skin blue and purple all over. The cute outfit you wore was stained with gore and you could feel some of the cotton within your innards. Sweater sleeves ripped up to reveal line-thin scars across your skin, some were dark with age and some were scarlet with freshness. Then something weird happened.

How curious, you thought. You watched with morbid fascination as your shredded body started to mend itself. Your heart began to pump to replace the blood you loss, before it was covered with a cage of ribs, layers of muscle, and then skin. Even your clothes were repaired, an off-shoulder sweater covered old scars and white skin. You sat up, stretching your surprisingly stiff limps and poking your used-to-be wounded body.

You pushed yourself to stand up, looking around the victorian-styled cathedral, the blindly white color burnt your eyes with how bright everything is. Dark eyes landed upon a lone figure. They had inky, black hair and wore a white hospital robe. But somehow, they looked familiar, a tiny voice in your head told you about hospital bills and pink roses.

”Oh? Are you finally awake?” They asked, not once turning to face you while they continued to stare at a mosaic window.

Streams of rainbow light reflected through the massive window, the only hint of color in the entire hall. You went closer to the figure, the scent of roses and something metallic was strongly present.

“Is this the afterlife?” They giggled at the question, moving their head a bit. A bright cobalt eye peeked out from a curtain of ink.

“I see.. To answer your question, yes, this is the afterlife,” Going to their side, you looked at the mosaic. In simple words, it was beautiful. It showed a field of red spider lilies and a gorgeous woman with long, dark hair, bleeding out in the equinox flowers with her eyes closed and cried crimson.

”Who are you? Are you an angel or a guardian? Maybe you’re the Grim Reaper?” You hummed, raising an eyebrow at them. They snickered, black locks parted to give you a grin.

"To put it simply, I am God."

Your petite body tensed up, while God just laughed at your surprised expression. They turned to face you properly, a pair of bright azure eyes seemed to stare into your soul. But now you knew why they appeared so familiar.

God took the appearance of your dead brother, Jona.

“Big brother, big brother!”

”What is it, Jona?”

”Big brother, make a pinkie-promise with me!”

Jona, you know that I’m too old for those kind of things.”

Awww, c’mon! You’re always studying! I want to play with big brother more!”

”Fine..”

”Yay! Big brother, promise me that we will always stay together, okay?”

”Really?”

”Just promise me, okay? ”

”Okay, anything you want.”

It smelled like rusty copper and wilted dandelions

You sipped from the tea cup, bored eyes gazed upon God as he took a cookie and bit into it. You sighed deeply and placed the cup down, listening to the end of God’s explanation with a twitch in your eyebrow.

”So,” you rubbed your temples while ignoring God’s shit-eating grin, resisting the urge to punch the creator of the universe in the face. “You want me to be reincarnated into the world of Naruto, a fictional world with Chakra, bloodthirsty ninjas, and overpowered Jutsu.”

God nodded, batting his eyelashes innocently while you glared at him. He took another chocolate-chip and dipped into some milk, humming into the baked goodness.

”You're going to be one of my Champions, inter-dimensional warriors who travel the worlds of fiction. So far, you are the third Champion and probably the most twisted one yet.”

You grabbed the teapot, feeling a bit ticked off about the twisted part (even though it's true) and poured yourself another cup of tea, “First off. If you want me to be reborn in a world where people pull out Rasengans out of their arses like it’s nothing, then I need some serious upgrades to even survive the Chūnin Exams.”

God looked offended at your lack of faith in him and sniffed snobbishly, “Of course! Who did you think I am?” You gave him a pointed look, causing him to pout childishly.

Then, he smirked and leaned forward, cobalt swirling into indigo as they lit up with a mischievous spark. “What do you think about magic?”

You paused your tea drinking, ”like, spell and potions?” He nodded rapidly, black bangs bouncing up and down.

“Imagine this. A magician in a world of Chakra, a being with endless possibilities!” He gestured wildly, snapping his fingers to make a book appear. You catched it, turning it around to get a better look. It was simple, really. A scarlet, leather-bounded journal with a eight-pointed star in the middle. “Is this..?”

God hummed in thought, nimble fingers drumming against the ivory table.

“I’ll provide you with materials for your witchcraft skills. Spell books, potion ingredients, game from mythical creatures, and other stuff,” snapping his fingers again, he gave you another grin, “I’ll also make you cute as fuck. Don’t want any of my Champions to be ugly, no?”

You stared at the growing stack of books appearing of nowhere, wondering out loud. “... Why do I have a bad feeling about this?”

God crackled.

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Notes:

Fun fact: Reader Character is a cold-hearted, evil bastard. But not even heartless villains can handle with the antics of a bored, divine deity.


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⏰ Last updated: Jun 14, 2023 ⏰

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