The Taste of Solitude| Nakamoto Yuta Oneshots

You Think It's All In Your Head (You Might Be Already Dead)

Title from: Fractions of Infinity by Quadeca. Click the arrow above to see the Moodboard!

15k words, 3rd person from Yuta POV

Relationships: Yuta/Mark, Yuta/Johnny, Yuta/Taeyong, Yuta/Doyoung, Yuta/WinWin and Yuta/Ten *All at separate times, not polyamory. 

Summary: Those with a yellow mark are supposed to live happy lives and die of natural causes. Those who are yellows usually have it easy both within the workplace and just in general, and they often die older than those with any other mark.

Nakamoto Yuta was the exception. After watching his purple marked mom grow ill and pass, living with an abusive father who hurt both he and his blue sister, and being the person to find her after she committed suicide, Yuta reached the end of his rope. He found himself spiralling into a depressive cycle where he attempted suicide repeatedly. He was seemingly the only yellow to ever reach this low in life, and he wanted nothing but to end it, and after another attempt, he found the number on his wrist frozen.

This was his punishment for trying to cheat fate constantly; his punishment, when he couldn't think of what he'd done so wrong. He would live longer than he'd ever wanted, and he'd live to watch the people he loved leave.

In other words: This is the story of Nakamoto Yuta and each of his lovers, all the way up to his final one, when he's finally granted the peace that he craved.

warnings: suicide attempts (negative), suicide (positive), major and minor character death, alternate universe (supernatural elements), angst with a happy ending, angst, hurt/no comfort for most of it, immortality, past child abuse (brief) and death as a motif

STORY BEGIN: 

Yuta would think, bitterly, that he was the most unfortunate person in the world.

He only said "think," because he wasn't even sure if he counted as a person anymore. It was not like he could die. He couldn't age. It was as if he was a vampire, only vampires aren't real and he was never bitten by one.

He had no special abilities, unlike a vampire would, but he was seemingly immortal nonetheless.

It wasn't even his fault, but...the universe must've been punishing him for something he wasn't knowledgeable of.

In the world, you are born with a square on your wrist. The square is either red, yellow, blue, purple or green, and inside of that square is a white number. That number is the years you have left to live.

Each square colour has a meaning, telling you the way that you die.

Reds are murdered, purples die of an illness or disease, greens die of freak accidents, yellows die of natural causes, and blues die of suicide.

There was never supposed to be a hierarchy based on these marks, but with the history of humans, it was inevitable, and by the time Yuta was born in 1995, one was already in place.

The top of the hierarchy was yellows, who often would die much later in life than the other markings. Up there, right after them, were any reds, greens or purples with high numbers. After them came any reds, greens or purples with low numbers. Then came higher number blues. Finally, at the bottom of the chain was any other kind of blue.

Blues were considered weak and pathetic, even if they weren't so. Blues were considered useless, the ones least hireable, lazy, unwanted. They were the ones who were doomed from the beginning to die at their own hands; they would feel unloved and alone.

If yellows were the people that were popular, blues were the people who were bullied, even for their death that they weren't even in control of.

And everyone played their role. Yellows were successful and happy, pleased with their long lifespans and all they could achieve within them while everyone else lived within normal means and blues scraped by.