I Hate Myself For Loving You MomoJirou

I Hate Myself for Loving you

I glanced around my room searching for something to distract me. My leg bounced up and down while my hands were shaking uncontrollably. I fucked up bad and I was desperate to forget about it.

Locating my records I grabbed my favorite Up Your Alley By Joan Jett And The Blackhearts. I carefully slipped it out form it's case and placed it in the record player.

Swiftly grabbing my electric guitar and started to play along to the first song playing I Hate Myself For Loving You.

This song has been with me for a long time. When I took guitar lessons when I was younger this was the first song I learned the entirety of. My Mom always joked I would become the next Joan Jett.

I always looked up to her a lot and still do.

My hands were shaking while i strummed my guitar making it difficult. "Fuck!" I yelled at myself.

My hands started to bleed because I had already overworked them today from playing literally all day. Sure I had built callous over the years but sometimes I break them.

I stopped playing since blood was dripping down my guitar and my fingers were stinging.

I needed it clean this up. But before I could do that I got a knock on the door.

"Hey Kyoka it's me Momo!" I heard her yelled to me through the door. Momo is the last person I wanted to see right now.

I looked down at my bloody hand and knew I was in a situation. Quickly I grabbed a tissue to open the door.

"Uh hey Momo" I sheepishly said while avoiding eye contact. "Hey i wanted to talk to you abou-" Momo cut herself off. "Uh Jirou why are your hands all bloody?" She asked concerned while grabbing my hand without  the tissue.

My face flushed red. "I just overwhelmed my hands that's all" I explained. "Kyoka" Momo croaked. "Here I'll clean you up if you let me" she offered. "Oh thanks" I mumbled.

I let her in and quickly realized my record was still playing. "Hey Uh Momo could you put my record up for me?" I asked. "Of course" she nodded.

She slipped it back in it's case and put it with the others. "I see you're still into Joan Jett" Momo teased. "Yeah she will always be my favorite artist" I told her. "You've been into her stuff since I've known you" Momo added.

I saw her eyes drift to my guitar covered in blood. Worry was laced in her expressions. "Let's get you cleaned up now" Momo suggested. I nodded.

Momo created some bandaids and wipes to clean my hands. We sat on my bed and she got to work.

She gently grabbed my hands. Her skin was so soft and warm while my hands are freezing and falling apart.

I winced as she cleaned my fingers. "Sorry I know it hurts" Momo apologized. She carefully wrapped my fingers up and was finished.

Momo rubbed my hands gently. "Momo why did you come here?" I asked while avoiding looking at her.

She reached in her jacket and pulled out a cd. "I wanted to give you this" she said as she handed it over to me. It was a signed cd of Up Your Alley.

"Why are you giving this to me?" I asked as tears started to form. "Kyoka I wanted you to know you did nothing wrong" she explained. "Nothing wrong!?" I yelled. "I-" Momo cut me off.

She squeezed my hand. "Kyoka" she mumbled.

Momo wrapped her hands around my neck and face. "It doesn't matter anymore" she whispered in my ear. "Everything is fine now" she assured me.

Momo brought herself closer to me making our bodies touch each other. What is she doing? She's gonna make me explode.

I could feel her hot breath on my neck. "Kyoka would you kiss me?" She quietly asked. I dropped the cd from hand making it land on the floor.

"I uh-" I muttered out. My brain wasn't working anymore.

Staring at her lips I slowly leaned closer and met hers. Momo brought her hand to my shirt and pulled me closer while her other hand held my jaw. She gripped my shirt tightly in her hand.

Soon I pulled away from the kiss. Only for her to push herself on top of me to bring us back into a kiss.

Momo's body was so warm against my body. I felt like I was melting in her touch.

Momo pulled away and looked down at me. "Kyoka you're all that matters" she reassured me.

She rubbed my cheek and smiled. "Momo I love you" I blurted out. "I love you to Kyoka" she replied.

Momo laid down next to me putting her head on my chest while hugging my waist.

Tears leaked from my eyes. "Why do you love me after what I did!" I cried. Momo hugged me tighter. "You make one mistake that doesn't mean I could ever hate you" she told me. I just stayed quiet.

"Kyoka you need it stop always beating yourself up" she explained. "You're my rockstar and nothing will change that" she said.

"Really I'm your rockstar?" I asked. "Yeah Kyoka you're gonna be selling out concerts in the future just you wait!" She exclaimed. "I can already heat the crowds screaming your name!"

I let out a chuckle. "The only person I want screaming my name is you" I told her.

Momo's face blushed red.

"Nah you'll be screaming my name"