Minors and Cancer

The Discussion

TUCKER: Thanks for having me on your show, Joe!

JOE: Of course, it's my pleasure. I'm always interested in what people have to say on all sides of the political spectrum. 

TUCKER: I suppose that could make a good segue into our topic for today?

JOE: Right! Tucker is here today to talk about minors and cancer treatment. I know it's quite controversial, but I want to hear Tucker's opinions on the matter. I listen to everyone, after all. 

TUCKER: Yeah, and it's my personal opinion that we should at the very least wait until they're adults to be treated. 

JOE: Oh careful with that one, haha, you might get cancelled for that!

TUCKER: Well I've already been cancelled many times, do your worst!

JOE: Anyways, why do you think that? Why should it be up to the parents to make that decision, rather than the doctors? 

TUCKER: Well, you see, minors just aren't mature enough to be able to make this decision themselves, and so trying to convince them otherwise is grooming. 

JOE: Woah, that's a pretty bold accusation. Why would that be so?

TUCKER: It's like how we don't let adults do certain things with children's bodies, why wouldn't that extend to cancer, too? 

JOE: Yeah, but like, cancer could actually kill you. Why's it worth the risk of letting it grow? 

TUCKER: They say there's some risk involved with not treating cancer, but that's a big lie. Cancer is natural, and people who have cancer will always be cancerous. "Treating" them is not going to change that. These people just need to suck it up and learn to live like a normal person. 

JOE: It being "natural" doesn't seem like a very good argument. I mean, not to doubt you, but you gotta tell me what someone's meant to do if someone, I don't know, is thinking about killing themselves because their cancer is so bad? 

TUCKER: The mean thing to do would be to call them snowflakes, but the real answer is that in all honesty, I don't believe any of it's real. Look, we've had hardly any reported cases of cancer, if any at all, for all of human history. You're telling me that only recently people are starting to realize they have cancer? If we keep going at this rate, everyone's going to have cancer in the next thirty years. It's a disaster. 

JOE: That's actually an interesting point, Tucker. And I've seen those charts too, it's very questionable. Who would stand to gain something from spreading these lies? 

TUCKER: For the average everyday person, having cancer means they get preferential treatment. They get to cut people in line everywhere, especially at the hospital, which is actually really dangerous. They're given unfair advantages in competitions, especially sports, as these people with cancer actually seem to perform better than the average person for some reason. Strange. And that brings us to the real reason: it's all about control. The elite are grooming these bio-engineered menaces to take over all the important places in society, especially in the public spotlight. This way they can keep us under their thumb and get us to do their bidding. But I'm not having it, Joe. I'm standing up for this bullshit, and the elite can't stop me. That's why I'm here on your show today, and on that note, I greatly appreciate you having me here so I can spread the truth to your patriotic audience. 

JOE: Certainly, any time, Tucker. It's been great having you, and good luck in the future. I suppose that's a wrap, so thanks for joining us today folks! And remember: question everything.