Experience

Hello! My name is Laura and I’m going to share you, my experience. I hope you can’t relate to it. If you can relate to my experience, I feel sorry for you and hope you can find a solution for it.

A sweet remainder: sometimes life is like a blackhole, even light can’t escape from it and sometimes but for me all the times it sucks in reality blackhole sucks everything._.
Some people are very curious to know what’s inside it and some people don’t give a shit.

WARNING: This story is not about tour experience. Its about good and bad sides of life.1)Have you ever cried? If you have cried then have you experienced eye pain and heart pain at the same time? I don’t know how but I felt. when I’m crying for some sensitive reasons, my eyes burn. It feels like my eyes have caught fire and the tears dropping feels like blood dropping from my eyes and once again I wish that you can’t relate to this fucking horrible experience. I can’t even cry freely in this world because in peoples eyes my tears were like crocodile tears and they think I m crying to create a drama. Really a drama? Why u people think like that? That’s what u think of me? Why I have to put a drama and entertain you? This is the reason I try to be strong and try to hide my emotion. I don’t want people to judge me. I don’t want them to see me weak and crying. I tried to be cold and stone hearted person but all the times I fail.
2) Many people like my friends, family and relatives used to tell me that if anything good or bad happens tell to us, we will help you to sought things out and surely, we will help you. Speak freely, speak to us. Do they really hear what I was saying? After hearing have you stayed by my side and helped me? Have you ever tried to listen what I was saying? Or have you ever tried to ask me what shit was going in my life? You never ever tried, that’s the naked truth. For you I’m dumb and deaf. My voice never audible to you, my tears never reached your eyes, my screaming never reached your ears, my pain never reached your heart. If people really call me as a drama queen and they tells me that I m simply doing drama and acting I really want to tell them that if they thinks I m acting and faking sceneries theneveryone in this fucking world doing the same shit. Everyone is acting, everyone acts like they care but in reality, they don’t even think about us, they don’t even care. that’s another naked truth. Everyone in this world deserves to be called as drama person. If you really care about me hear what I was trying to say. My silence also answers many questions. If can’t help me also just say, you can do your best to me. Its just a word for you but for me it’s an emotion it’s a feeling<3. Maybe one day you can understand. 

I may be wrong sometimes but I m not wrong all the times.

3) this is my favourite topic to discuss “THE BLESSING AND CURSING”can we get blessing and cursing from the same person? The answer is yes, we can. Many elder people and my parents used to bless me. They used to tell me that live long, live 100 years. But at the same time, they used to curse me. I wonder what will work? Blessings or cursing? My parents used to bless me a lot but when they are in anger, they used to tell me to die. Just die. It’s a word, it’s just a wordwhich their mind processed, their heart stopped to tell but their mouth leaks the information. That words straightly hit my brain. Whenever I feel sad or I cry my brain used to remind me to die. It used to tell that you parents told you to die why u haven’t died yet?When they tells me to die, they used to stare into my eyes and tell. That stare pierces my soul, stays in my mind and breaks my heart and that time the tears which are dripping from my eyes are not just tears they are colourless blood which are dripping from broken heart and lifeless soul. Still, I manage to stick all my broken pieces of my heart and give to you to get broken again and again. I am in a loop which never ends. I get broken again and again. Maybe this was my fate get broken by you guys and still manages to laugh, smile and makelame jokes for you guys. I also have feelings. It hurts. Stills hurts. Those words are not just words they are killer. Even after hearing the same thing for 100 times,  it feels new every time u says. I fed up of these shits. I lost hope, I lost everything, I lost my life but I don’t have the courage to give up my life. That’s another naked truth.

Let’s meet in another parts of experience until that bye