Shadows of Remembrance ~ An Oumasai Fanfic

Chapter 1

In the dimly lit waiting room, Shuichi Saihara's heart raced in sync with the incessant ticking of an old clock attached to the wall with peeling paint. Each tick echoed the resounding uncertainty he felt about delving into the labyrinth of his emotions for the first time. Each tick of the clock amplified the weight of vulnerability ahead of him in his first therapy session. The lack of chatter in the waiting room only made his nerves grow into a beast. A ferocious beast that bared it's teeth, growling menacingly and poised to strike.

His hands began to shake, thoughts began to race. A million things could go wrong. What if his therapist didn't like him? What if he was just being dramatic about all his so-called 'issues'? What if he overshares? What if it turns out there is something wrong with him? What if he can never be fixed?

As these thoughts began to consume Shuichi's mind, a gentle hand rested softly upon his own, instantly calming his frantic thoughts. He turned to find his best friend, Kokichi, with that constant glimmer in his eyes, he was wearing a reassuring smile. He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to, Shuichi understood. Kokichi was there, silently promising to support him every step of the way, a comforting touch that spoke volumes without uttering a word.

"Shuichi Saihara, Dr Kono will be with you in a moment if you could please just wait for him in his room," the receptionist announces.

The two boys arose from their seats in sync. Shuichi began making his way down the hall. His anxiety was building once more but comfort accompanied him within the fact that Kokichi was only two steps behind him. No matter how challenging this would be for Shuichi, as soon as it was over, Kokichi would be there like a comforting lighthouse in the hailstorm, guiding him to a place of reassurance.

They got to the doorway; these next few steps would mark the beginning of Shuichi's journey of recovery. The doorframe, a gateway to the past memories and the shadows that haunted over them. Shuichi turned back to see Kokichi, "Wish me good luck?" he meekly asked.

"Good luck," Kokichi responded delicately.

Shuichi let his gaze cross the room, the left wall was just a bookshelf without a single gap in it. In the back right corner of the room was a little desk which displayed a modern laptop and some notebooks and pens. Lastly, to his right was what appeared to be a mini living room. Two couches facing one another and an armchair to the side, topping it all off was a simplistic glass coffee table in the middle of it all. Unsure what he should do while he waited for the arrival of his therapist, he hesitantly took a seat in the middle of the closest couch. He began to nervously fiddle with his hands. He ran his fingers along each nook and cranny of the other hand, tracing the rough skin of neighbouring fingers and gently pressing down on other fingers in attempt to hear a satisfying enough crack. He looked back at the open door once more in hopes to see Kokichi again, but instead was met with the face of his new therapist with a flashy smile presented on his face.

"Good evening Mr Saihara, I'm Dr Kono, it's a pleasure to meet you," He said as he takes a seat in the armchair, notebook and pen in hand.

"It's nice to meet you too," Shuichi shyly mumbled in return, all confidence he had built up during the game had seemed to evaporate within that very moment.

"I hear you played a star role in that show.. Danganronpa I think it's called? Personally, I don't watch it, but I hear it's quite popular. You'll have to tell me all about it," Dr Kono suggested. Shuichi knew he was oblivious about how deep of a conversation he just brought up, Shuichi knew he was just trying to break the ice. But he still froze up, and it was clear to Dr Kono he had incidentally struck a nerve. Seeing as his experiences with the killing game was the reason he was there; he couldn't avoid the topic. "Well, we were all stuck in a game where we were told we had to kill each other to get out... almost all of my friends died.." Shuichi explained, shocking Dr Kono.

"Oh my... I am so sorry for your loss," He offered his condolences.

"No, don't be. They're not dead apparently..?"

"Oh?"

Shuichi began his lengthy explanation and recollection of recent events. Two weeks ago, he had ended Danganronpa, or so he thought, and woke up in the light of a frantic hospital room. For a week he couldn't hear, smell, feel or use any of his muscles. It was as if he was just a soul looking through the eyes of a body. Even after that week passed he remained unaware of how he ended up in the hospital, the reasons for his presence, and reasons for the condition he found himself in upon waking. Not even one of the numerous nurses and doctors giving him multiple tests would say a thing. It was only when he was being dispatched from hospital after being given details about his living arrangements, that he was told that his experiences in Danganronpa was the result of a hyper-realistic simulation. "Wow... that must have been very shocking to believe you had witnessed most of your friends deaths, only to find out their all alive. I mean of course it's good that they are all alive, but that doesn't change the shock that comes with it," Dr Kono remarked empathically, to which Shuichi nodded in agreement. "How about you expand upon that feeling and describe to me what it feels like?" Dr Kono instructed, and that's what he did.

Shuichi described how he found himself caught in the intricate web of living two contrasting truths. On one hand, a part of him clung tightly to the haunting memories of witnessing the deaths of his friends, each moment etched vividly in his mind. The weight of grief and loss lingered within him, as if insisting that those tragic events were an undeniable reality.

Yet, alongside this dark certainty, another part of Shuichi's consciousness presented a bewildering revelation: his friends were miraculously alive and well. This conflicting truth defied the logic and comprehension that Shuichi had come to rely on. Kokichi, a friend whose death he believed he had witnessed, now stood before him, an undeniable living proof of this baffling contradiction.

Caught between these parallel realities, Shuichi found himself torn. A tangle of emotions swirled within him, blending disbelief with hope, confusion with relief. The dichotomy of these conflicting truths created a disorienting state, as if he stood at the crossroads of two separate dimensions, unable to fully grasp the nature of his own reality.

Although voicing his feelings came with mass amounts of hurt and confusion, it also felt like a massive weight that he hadn't known was there, was lifted from his chest. He felt lighter, more at peace. Kokichi was right, he definitely had needed this. He originally thought he would find it impossible to recall these events, let alone voice them to someone else. Yet the more he talked about it, the more he blurted out. One thing comes to another and suddenly the two are discussing Kokichi. "It's good you have someone to support you through all of this, especially one who's almost constantly there for you," Dr Kono expressed.

"It really is, honestly I never would've thought we would get this close,"

"Oh? Why's that?"

"Well in the game... admittedly I didn't like him all that much when he was alive.. he just wouldn't stop lying, he pretended that he liked the killing game! He did some awful things too... but I think I feel worse that I hated him then, now. I mean, he was doing what he felt he had to do to save everyone in the end... he was doing what he had to do to save himself. But now that we're out of the game I thoroughly enjoy his company. Of course, he still lies, jokes around, and plays tricks but that's just who he is. Not to mention, all his lies and tricks are harmless now that he's not in a life-or-death situation. Their quite humorous actually. He doesn't joke when it's a time to be serious either, or in times of need when I'm not doing so good... honestly it's a side none of us saw during the game. I'm really glad I get to see this side of him too. He's a great roommate," Shuichi explained as a small smile dawned upon him in thought of Kokichi.

"Well, that's great to hear Shuichi, unfortunately our time is up here but it's been lovely to meet you. See you again in two weeks?" Said Dr Kono.

"Yes, see you then," Shuichi confirmed. He exited the room and wandered back to the waiting room where he saw Kokichi there, who had been patiently waiting for his return.

~ 1526 words ~