The Outing

Chapter 1: I can't do this

As soon as Melissa stepped off the bus, she knew:
This day was going to change everything.

She slowly strolled past the country-style hotel in her hometown, always looking straight ahead. It had been a while since she had last been here, and even if she didn't like to admit it, she missed the fresh country air and the endless fields that stretched across the village. The temperatures were rising, so the streets were crowded with tourists and locals who wanted to get a sweet refreshment at the blue ice cream parlor around the corner. People walked past Melissa left and right, but she didn't take her eyes off the intersection in front of her. Too great was her fear that she would see a familiar face in the crowd. Just a little small talk, such as an innocent "Hi Melissa, we haven't seen each other in so long. How are you?" would be enough to make her facade crumble and she would be the talk of the small village and probably the next neighboring village, because how could she let all this happen? How could she possibly fall in love with Anna?

As the thoughts in her head became too loud and she felt the first tears already in her eyes, she quickly cleared her throat before walking past the ice cream parlor and turning left.

Almost home.

But was that really such a comforting thought?

Melissa thought of her mother. Of her warm brown eyes that laughed along anytime she made one of her bad jokes.
The smell of her perfume that she instantly recognized when another woman walked past her with the same scent, and of her hugs that always felt safe.
Tears came to her face once again.

How could I have fallen in love with Anna?

How could she not?
Melissa thought back to the day she first met Anna. It was a warm summer day, perfect for the beach, so she grabbed her swimming gear and headed for the nearest beach.

As expected, this one was more than crowded and it was almost impossible to find a free spot with a little peace and quiet. Melissa thought back to the time when every person was too much for her. She was definitely not a social butterfly.

She was all the more annoyed when a volleyball from a group of friends found its way right into her face.

"Ouch." Melissa held her cheek before noticing footsteps, which came to a stop right in front of her.
"Is everything okay?" she heard an unfamiliar voice trying so hard, but failing terribly, to suppress laughter.
Annoyed, she looked up.
"What does it look like?" Melissa's eyes met the still grinning girl.

How idiotic.

"I'm sorry." the girl now said a bit more seriously. Melissa handed the ball towards the girl, hoping she would just take it and leave. Of course, she didn't.

"Hey, if you want, you can play along." she said with a smile that Melissa would love to wipe off her face.
"No thanks. If you don't mind, I'd really appreciate it if you'd get out of my sun."
The girl shrugged before turning and walking back to her friends.

As Melissa walked past the small grocery store in her hometown, she couldn't suppress her smile at the memory.

I love Anna.

Those were Melissa's last thoughts before she turned into her mother's street and stood in front of the door.

I would love to just run away right now.

But she knew that would make no sense, because sooner or later she would have to confess it to her mother, because she loved Anna now and she let it happen and how could she not.
After one last big breath, her finger hesitantly found the doorbell. Melissa didn't have to wait a minute before the door burst open and her eyes met her mother's warm brown eyes. Her arms flap around her before she breathed in the all-too-familiar scent of her perfume.

I'm home. Home is safe.

After a few seconds, her mother finally pulled her into the house.
"We've all missed you so much," she said, beaming with joy. "The others can't wait to finally see you again."
Melissa's eyebrows drew together questioningly. "The others?"
"Of course, Grandma and Grandpa invited themselves along for lunch right away. You don't really think I can have you to myself for even a second, do you?" her mother said with a laugh.

Pure panic broke out in Melissa.
Her hands were sweating and her heartbeat lost its normal rhythm.

I can't manage to tell everyone.

Melissa's thoughts were racing through her head, but she didn't have long to think. She went from hugging her mother to hugging her grandparents, brother, aunt and cousin and before she knew it she was sitting at the table with a plate full of food in front of her and conversations so noisy she couldn't hear her own thoughts.

Hours passed and Melissa told her family all about her new university, her first little apartment of her own and new friends.

Just don't mention Anna.

After a few more hours, it was time to prepare dinner. As usual, Melissa followed her mother into the kitchen. It was tradition for Melissa to prepare dinner with her mother, because sometimes it all got too much for both of them and an hour in the kitchen with a bottle of wine worked wonders.
As they stood side by side cutting the first tomatoes for the sauce, Melissa didn't miss her mother's looks. "What?" she said with a grin.
"Oh, nothing." Her mother lied. After a few more seconds, she set the knife aside before placing one of her hands on Melissa's shoulder.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" she said. Melissa swallowed.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm your mother. I can tell by the tip of your nose when something's wrong."
Melissa looked at her mother, then back at the tomatoes.

Suddenly, there was Anna in her thoughts again. The smile she kept throwing her that day at the beach. How she stayed longer even though all her friends were heading home, and how she sat down so cheekily with her charming laugh right on her beach towel and watched the sunset with her. And then there was that first time she really looked at Anna and how she couldn't stop looking at her. How she was completely captivated by the contrast between her light blue eyes and black hair. The little dimple on her left cheek when she laughed and how Anna's hand fit so perfectly in her own.

"There's something I've been wanting to tell you." she finally said hesitantly before her eyes met her mother's.

I can't.