Infp-a ᥫ᭡

introduction:

i'm a mysterious individual that either won't talk at all or will not shut up when interested in a certain topic.
it takes me a long time to express myself when meeting someone new, so people often get confused when trying to understand me.
When i do end up becoming close to someone, i allow myself to open up completely around them. I expose all of my flaws and passions for this person to see.

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i often come across tons of ideas or hobbies to try out in the future. this list eventually becomes too overwhelmingly large and instead, i end up never fully completing anything on the list.
i can only really stick to just a few interests that i am tightly invested in. the rest end up staying on my neglected checklist that is back in the dark depths of my mind.
for example, i really like the thought of cooking different meals. however, it's time consuming to have to go through the entire process, leaving me with just a list of recipes that have never been tested.

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as much as i enjoy spending quality time with the ones i'm closest to, i often feel the most comfortable when i'm all alone with just me, myself and my mind.
one of the only occurrences that doesn't allow me to handle being alone is when i'm having a panic attack / over-powering anxiety.
if i am left alone during that, i turn towards overthinking and convince myself that the toxic thoughts i'm having will eventually end up as my reality.

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i don't struggle too much when interacting with people, but it's crucial for me to recharge by giving myself some nice, quality time alone.
people often associate me with that stereotypical "cold" / "dry" personality, i'd rather just think of it as more of just me not being up for talking/interacting when it's not something that entertains me or peaks my interest.
many people would automatically find this to be rude and selfish, but is it really necessary to talk when all that you would be saying doesn't even mean anything to you? if you think about it, you're just sputtering words in order to participate in the conversation.

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when it comes to self-control, it is naturally easy for me to avoid things that are harmful towards either my mind or my body.
i also have a refreshingly easy time forming my own opinions, likes and dislikes.
if there is information told to me that isn't thought of as something important, interesting or necessary, 9 out of 10 chances i won't remember it.

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i absolutely DESPISE the idea of harming someone else for my own advantage.
i will never, EVER be caught purposely hurting somebody's emotions. on the other side, physical violence is something i do find myself wanting to partake in quite often. (i would most likely never actually end up doing this though)

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to be blatantly, completely honest, i typically don't pay all that much attention towards other people in general.
like, don't get me wrong, of course i want people to live a good life, be happy and content, successful, and so on. but, i am not the type to compare myself against other human beings.
i like to refer to myself as an "individualist".
i find that i thrive the most when i am on my own.

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if someone is being disrespectful towards me, i normally wouldn't take much offense to it and make sure not to pay them any attention.
i know that they just are unaware of how to control their emotions and instead are taking everything out on me.
although being mistreated rarely ever hurts me, i will still take action if things have gone too far and the disrespect has gotten alarmingly out of hand!
- in simpler, more straightforward terms: i don't give three fucks about toxic opinions !!

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i am a HUGE sucker for sadistic/dark humor, as long as it's not political or consists of racism/homophobia/sexism (so by "dark" i mean jokes about violence, death as long as it's not going too far and sarcasm).

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i typically tend to steer away from the overpowering, obnoxious personality types.
i usually find these types of people to be annoying, unless they have a good sense of humor.

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i have a few close friends and everyone else who i talk to i just call "people in my life at the moment" because life changes all of the time and chances are they may not be in my life in the future.
i used to get very upset over this, but i've learned to deal with this as i grew older and had to part with more people in my life.
now, i just look at it as a new chapter starting in my life.
instead i focus on the positives, and i'm grateful for how i am fortunate enough to meet so many different minds and hearts.
i have gotten comfortable enough to be able to fade away from people that i had once been really close with. yes, it can be bittersweet, but i simply stay thankful for the memories that were made with the individual and wish them everything good for their continuing life.
- maybe i would end up re-meeting that person, or maybe i would never see them again.
i find it so fascinating how small such a giant world can seem at times.

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when it comes to me liking someone, i have to be attracted to them / interested in them.
i will never go on a date with someone who's interested in me if i'm not even slightly interested in them. i'd rather just be honest to them and reject them instead of giving them a false sense of hope.
as cold as this may sound, i really do believe that this is better than wasting your own time and the time of the person who's interested.
- here's a comparison for those who still might not fully understand my point of view: say you go out to a restaurant for dinner.
on the menu there are dishes that stand out to you and dishes that you would rather avoid or are simply just neutral to you.
when ordering your food, you will obviously pick something that you liked on the menu.
so for me, when it comes to dating someone, i use the same tactic that one would use when ordering something off of a menu.

〜　hope you enjoyed :)
!! pls don't steal my work !!
thank you for stopping by

- zan ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚