I am sorry

Chapter one

I woke up at my usual time of 9 am. My mother has gone to work and my little brother has just left for school. It's a typical day with no one around. I wash my face and put healing cream on my face scars, neck scratches and arm cuts... Mother left breakfast on the table. She made a sandwich today, which looks delicious. I check the door to ensure everything is locked, then grab my food and take it to my room.

Three years ago, I used to attend high school as well but after a particular incident that occurred, I stopped going. Simply because it was impossible to stay at that place. The amount of humiliation and bullying that I had to endure was way too much. My parents have brown skin and straight black hair however I have brown curly hair and pale skin. Quite different from any of the family members. I Always look like an outcast. My class-fellows knew this and accused me of being adopted. Their accusations are usually verbal but sometimes they do get physical as well. Like when they fully trashed my backpack when I was out getting lunch from the cafeteria. They even put someone else's stuff in my bag and told everyone I stole it.

(I was never able to clear my name from that)

They threw water on the teacher when she was writing on a whiteboard and said I did it and so many other things.

(I did none of them but why did I have to endure punishments? )

In school, I was not learning English, physics or math. Rather I was knowing how cruel the world is. How much it can cause pain if you try to raise your voice for some justice...for some peace. Like I once did and fate represented itself in permanent scars on my face and neck...

(the incident goes like this)

I was sitting on my chair. When Sera tried to snatch my lunch. I thought if I try to stand up for myself or maybe if I ask for help, the teachers will hear my voice or someone will save me.

(no one came for help. Instead, they took pictures and videos to torture me in future)

Sara always bullied me. She took my stuff and never gave it back. Took my notes, books and even the stationary I got as a birthday present.

So, She is no stranger when it comes to bullying me. She is also no stranger to hitting me... Yes, I said, hitting me. She is the reason why I have cuts on my forearm. We had home economics class and she brought a new paper cutter. Sera said to her friends "I want to test this cutter". I was stepping out of class for some silence. She ran towards me. Took my arm and said "lets see how sharp this is".

Without any hesitation. She cuts my arm. Before I get a chance to catch my breath. There are three cuts on my arm. When she saw her cutter had gone red. Her eyes widened and her legs got shaky. She stood there for few seconds before running back into the class while shouting

"CREEPY GIRL!, UGLY CREEPY GIRL!"...

(IT HURT LIKE HELL !!!. I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN THAT I COULDN'T SPEAK WHEN THE SCHOOL NURSE ASKED WHAT HAPPENED...)

I had to take school leave for two days. when I told this incident to my mother. She simply lets out a sigh. Then she said "You could have fought back or said something to stop her or resisted at least"

"Why you let it happen"

...

I shut my mouth to her response.

(After that, I often wore makeup on my arms. whenever my little brother was around)

So when Sera took my lunch I shouted for help, I know it's weird. Raising my voice after what she had done previously. I was expecting teachers' from next room to hear me. They didn't but Sera stopped. Turned around as if she heard someone coming in his direction. She was standing like a statue . No one was there. She says nothing and leaves me alone while glaring at me. It was surprising, not just for me but for the whole class as well. I was quite happy to know that I stood up for myself...