SMUTTY SMUT SMUT

173 6 30

by BigBootyliciousKyle

by BigBootyliciousKyle

Tw: SO MUCH SMUTTT (also I haven't slept in a while so I am very sleep deprived) also horrible grammar and spelling

THEY ARE AGED UP AND BEFORE YOU COME AFTER ME KENNY GOT A BJ AT 9 AND CARTMAN WAS JACKING OFF AT 9 SO IDC FUCK YOU

(Cartmans pov😏😏😏😏😏😏😏)

I walk into the kitchen of my dorm (it's fancy I don't know you deal with it) I just finished my first day of college so many people told me to not date someone (or something 😏) very early on but I couldn't help my self when I saw the big juicy eggplant the long hard cucumber the big plumpous round potato's I fell in love.

I stare at all the vegetables when I was younger I hated them but now I love them so much 😍😍 I open my fridge and pull out a few vegetables

"you're looking mighty fine baby" I said

"..." It responded

"You wanna have some fun if ya know what I mean~" I said

"..." It responded

At that point I got so excited I had to tell my mom so I called her

"Hello snookiepookiesnumywumsy" my mummsy said

"MOM IM GETTING LAID OMG IM SO EXCITED EEEEKKKKK"

"That's great snuzlebunnypoo"

"I KNOW ISNT IT SO KEWLLL"

"Yes bitchboyhuneybumsfatcheeks"

I hang up the phone to not make the vegetables wait any longer I go up to a cucumber and put a condom on it since aids is not kewl and I don't wanna get omegaverse mpreg. I add a big glob of lube that I stole from Kenny before I went to highschool because he had the expensive shit since he never cheated out on sex. I slowly put the cucumber up my pee hole

"AGHHHHDHDBEUWNE WRONG HOLE THIS SO NOT KEWLL CUCUMBER I HATE YOU IM REPLACING YOU WITH THE EGGPLANT" I screamed out in pain

"..." It responded

I run over to the eggplant while yanking the cucumber out my pee hole but since I had the expensive lube it wasn't very hard I put a condom and lube on the eggplant and shove it up my bootylicious booty hole moaning now since I'm a little wuss I mean kewl dude I only lasted 2 seconds before my cum went everywhere so I decided to call the Stoopid joo

"GUESS WHAT I JUST GOT LAID IM SO KEWWLLL KAHLL"

"Fuck you it's 3 am why do you call me everytime you jerk off it's annoying"

"I DIDN'T GET LAID BY MY HAND this time I GOT LAID WITH MY FUTURE HUSBAND COUGH COUGH I MEAN WIFE"

he hangs up tired of my shit but I know he's just jealous because his girlfriend y/n is secretly a lesbian

THE END