Let Go Of The Past.

The Day I Lost You.

"Hey Amber, didn't you hear?"A friend said to me.
"Huh? Hear what?" I had asked him
"Well, your favorite show, Red Light, Blue light, it got canceled."he said this to me, the words hitting me like a bullet.
"What."I asked this in pure disbelief and hatred.
"Kai. You're kidding. Right?"my voice cracking right as I spoke.
"No, im not."He said this as he put a hand on my cheek. Tears welled up in my eyes as I grabbed his hand.
"But why.."Those were the words I asked him.
"Becuase of that one line. Parents found it disturbing."Kai said as he let me fall into his arms and cry.
            I woke up today feeling extra weird. Almost like I was different, infact I feel odd. I mean, after all, I am the odd one out. Nobody really gets me, I'm a fantasy geek, mystery geek, portals, geek. All of that. I study other subjects instead of my actual work. I go downstairs, book a bag on my back, sketch book in hand, pencil in my ear, ignoring the fact I am feeling extra odd today.
"Look who finally came downstairs."My mom says in sarcasm.
"Very funny," I say as I grab my pencil, open my sketch book, and begin drawing.
"Amber, what are you doing."my mom asks.
"Drawing."I say as I sketch a dragon.
"Amber, you're a creative girl. That's a good thing, but it's holding you back from your intelligence and focus."my mom says.
"What do you mean."I ask as I pause and look at her.
"What I am saying is, maybe stop being obsessed with fantasy and focus with school."My mom says this in harsh words. My eyes widen, I then look up at her with a face that just says disbelief.
"Absolutely not. I'm sorry, but that's not something I can just do."I say as I glare at her.
"Well, then learn to do it."her words sting me worse than a bee sting.
"Why, but why? Is it because im just a puppet to you?"I ask, finally snapping.
"Amber."she says.
"Why, because I can't live up to your expectations that you set for me? Why can't I just live my life knowing you support my decisions. I can't because all you ever think of me is just a puppet. You have expectations for me, but I do not want to follow them because they are out of reach. You never let me do anything I like."I snap at her standing up. I get mad, and I just walk out with my school backpack, pencil, and sketchbook.   I feel tears in my eyes once I begin to walk away. Maybe I was too harsh. I don't know what is wrong with me, why I can't feel things when I want to. Why can't I cry on command.  I'm so dumb I wish I never existed. Soon I arrived at the school and I wiped my tears away. I open my locker, and I see a note from my bully.
"Hey, nerd. Meet me outside. -XOXO Zayda"The note says that. After reading it, I groan and head outside to see her sitting on the steps smiling.
"Hey Amber, I heard you like portals."she says.
"Yeah?"I ask.
"Well," she pauses, her face looking excited but then slowly turning rude.
"I think you're a loser."she says as she laughs.
"Harsh. I'll take it for sure."I say as I begin to look away, kinda hoping she would have said she liked it too.
"What, did you expect me to like the same stupid nerd s-tuff you do?"She asks this with a held back laughter that turns into a bursting laugh.
"Yeah, actually. I thought you were cool. Clearly, you need to learn how to grow up."I say.
"What?"She asks.
"Bullying is for younger levels, come to mine, and then we'll talk."I say as I walk away like a boss. In class, I did my same routine, research from library books during class, and write things down the usual. That was until I got told to go home early. I went into my father's car and sat in the passengers side.
"Hey, dad."I say as I look at him.
"Hey Amber."He says as he starts driving to my mom's house. All there is in the car is silence. I pull out my phone, and the first thing that comes on is a very interesting audio.
"I WANT TO DATE A MAN I WANT TO FU-"my phone plays as I quickly put my phone on silent.
"Sorry -"I say, this embarrassed. Once we arrive, I find out someone died in my family line. I get a lecture on so many different things. I storm up to my room and grab a set of a set of plyers, I then pull and cut my hair with them. The next morning, my mom sees my change of outfit and hair.
"What is that look." She asks.
"Eh, I don't know, and I don't care."I say as I then walk out to go to school. I open my locker and see a portal. I see a hand, so I reach out to touch it, I let out a scream as something happens. This was the day I was lost.