what the fuck?? • matt sturniolo

13. drop him

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𝗜 𝗗𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗘 𝗧𝗢 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗞, and i get there in ten minutes.

i drive in silence, just me and my thoughts, i don't even bother to put on any music.

i'm so dissapointed in josh, he did say he was going to pick me up, i remember. it was vey dickish of him to deny having said it.

i'll choose to let it slide because maybe he's embarassed about not having a car. although he did say he 'doesn't get the hype'...

i don't know.

the date hasn't even started and i'm already thrown off by josh.

for a second i wonder if i should cancel. maybe tell him i have a family emergency to take care of or whatever.

but malina put so much effort into getting me ready. she spent almost two hours helping me and giving me support.

so i decide that no matter how this date goes, i'll do it for her.

because if it were for me, i would have bailed before i even left my house.

˚ · • . ° .

i get to the park and head out to find josh. he told me he was by a statue, so i go look over there.

when i arrive, i see that josh has laid a blanket and on it, there are green and purple grapes put in a crystal bowl.

"it's not really lunch time yet, so it's a good arrangement" i think to myself.

"plus, i LOVE grapes"

"hey." josh looks up from his phone.

"hi." i smile weakly.

he stands up and kisses me on the cheek.

"hey listen. i'm sorry about the whole 'picking you up thing'." he starts as he sits down, gesturing for me to do so as well. "i don't have a car and i know it doesn't seem like it, but i'm kind of embarassed about it."

"i'm saving up to get one, 'cause i already have my license. that's why i work as a waiter." he laughs a small kind of laugh.

"oh, no, it's okay. i totally get that though." i say. "i started working before i could get my license, so when i did, i already had enough money." i explain.

"i guess i just wasn't as smart as you." he smiles.

i think i just got the ick.

i feel like that was very pick me of him.

he tried to compliment me and make himself small, just so i would tell him he is smart.

or so i would get an ego boost and it would make me like him more.

i just makes me like him less, honestly.

he senses my awkward silence and speaks again. "so, how did you become famous?" he asks.

ugh.

"well i don't really like to call myself that, but i basically just sing." i shrug.

"but like... give me the dirt. the things you had to do to get signed, the people you had to bribe..." he trails off, smiling.

"excuse me?"

"oh, come on. everyone has had to sleep with someone or pay someone or do something to get signed. you don't get in just by singing." he shrugs.