To my inner child

I promise everything is going to be okay now....I know this cruel world let you down & made you feel like you weren't good enough to fit into it, but this just isn't true, you're unique and beautiful, strong and worthy of love, you will find a way out of this pain I promise.
I know that adults let you down, made you scared & vulnerable, they took advantage and abused trust that was given to them, I know they hurt you & they made you feel like you were an  inconvenience, and that you couldn't be loved... well you're not okay, and I love you, I will always love and protect you ... They were clearly dealing with their own demons and you got caught in the crossfire...
I won't and could never try and justify their behaviour because they were wrong for that, but you are an innocent child, you are someone's baby do you understand, you did not ask for how they treated you nor did you deserve it, it was unfair & they had no right...I know it hurts and you can cry just make sure you get back up every time and don't let this pain hold you down girl ok?
Know that I hear you and I am here, mind body and soul, I've always been here, I am you and you are me and we've got this you hear me?
No one can hurt us anymore, you know why? Because we are strong, we made it, we're still here, I'm not going to lie, or sugar coat it.... Babe life is shit and it is so hard, we're going to experience pain and struggle but there's so much beauty in life, there's so much of the world to see, there's so many people that have love to offer.... So many pure souls that aren't going to hurt you, you have to learn to let them in one day...but don't beat yourself up if you can't, take your  time... Get to know the world again, allow yourself to find your way of fitting back into society, there's no rush the world will be waiting for you when you're ready...
Thing is you don't have to be scared anymore, these people can no longer hurt you, I can't promise you'll be able to forget but you will find new ways to process, understand and deal with the information that comes to you, I can't lie and say it's easy because it isn't and sometimes that information comes suddenly and unexpected in the form of a flashback and girl it hurts, you will feel like your right back there but it's temporary ok.... No one can hurt you anymore, you want to know why?
Because I'm here now baby girrrlll and I've been through the fire, the deepest darkest parts, I got burned and I have the battle scars to prove it, they made us the warrior we are today, we are strong now, we actually made it, we told that pain that we weren't going to be defined by it and we chose to stand up and fight, we became unbreakable because we had to learn how to get up by ourself.... This is going to hurt... But no one came for us, do you understand what I'm telling you ? nobody comes when shit hits the fan ... Nobody is going to pick you up and make it better, hug away the pain, but I will, like I always always  have, I will always be here to make it better, I will pick us up and I will find a way to get us through this shit girl ....
No one can prepare you for how hard life is, experiences are lessons that teach you emotion and how to process it, teaches you about the world and learning to find the beauty and the magic in it, learning to love the little things and see them as the big things..
First and foremost you're still here!
Biittcchh you are 30 like wadafuq you bad ass ... Bet you didn't think you'd make it this far, we learned how to love again, we have a son... And believe me when I tell you he was worth every second of everything we went through, he taught us love.... He taught us that love does exist, it's real... He loves us for us and it's perfect, sweety we're gonna make it through this okay, this time we're going to do it together...

I'm so sorry that you've spent most our childhood being sad, I'm sorry you spent hours on end crying and nobody was there to comfort you, I'm sorry that mom was taken from us but I'm even more sorry that dad didn't want us in his life, you must understand this isn't our fault and nothing we do or done could change this, I'm sorry that we ended up lost in the system where nobody cared, I'm sorry you grew up feeling isolated, alone and terrified, I'm sorry you felt like you had nobody and you couldn't talk to anyone, I'm sorry I couldn't be strong enough to fight away all this pain back then, I wish things could have been different, I too wish we still had mom, I need her too you know, we never stopped needing her or craving her love, we just learnt how to keep going...
I'm sorry I couldn't have been strong enough for us back then so that you knew all this, ... One day things will get better and you will learn to love again through me, I will hold us up and I will love us back to being strong because in the end the only person who's really got your back is you & you always find a way, you always have done..

I wish I could wrap you in my arms and hold you so tight that all that pain melts away because I know you crave it so badly, you put on this tough exterior and you don't want people to get too close because you're afraid, I hear you, it's hard... It's so hard but I'll always pick you back up when things get too much, I'll be that warmth you craved as a child, I've got us like I always have !

We will love and we will live, we will learn to see the beauty in life again, we will make memories and see that people were wrong about us ... We may be weird and a bit different because of what we went through but we are fucking awesome, we are beautiful, we are strong, inspiring, magical, caring, loving, & we want to be and have better which is why we know we will get it because we don't ever give up you hear me?

Even when things get real dark, many times it will come .. That darkness, it'll creep up on you and you may get lost in it for a while but I'll always help you find the light, I'll always be at the end of the tunnel to guide you back.... I've done it so many times before I've got this, I'll hold us up.... I'll be that strength you needed, I'll give you the love you needed, I'll hold you so tight that you will forget how bad it all was, I'll remind you that you are loved, you are special, you are clever, you are meant to be here... You have a purpose, you will make it out of this tough place and eventually it will all be worth it. I am proud of you.