Try With Me
I always wonder how someone loves you and breaks you at the same time? It's like you love him, but then while you're loving him, you're also losing yourself slowly.
Why is it always like that? Do I always have to believe in right person, wrong time? Why does it have to be like that?
Everytime a man breaks my heart, a new man will come. And then when he breaks my heart, another man will come. It's just a cycle.
And it's exhausting.
When he's tired and he doesn't love me anymore, he'll break up with me or when he cheats on me, society will favor him because he's what? A man? And it's normal for them because it's their nature?
He tells me he loves me, but does he really love me? I don't even feel loved by him, why do I still love him? Why am I still staying with him? Why can't I just leave him?
Right, because I thought it was normal. But it wasn't. I realized it wasn't because then,
There's this girl..
Her personality is quite the opposite of mine. The first time I met her, it wasn't love at first sight. It's hatred. We hated each other. Why? because we always have opposite decisions. We won't get along.
We are completely the opposite of each other.
She have a stinky and straightforward personality. But she also have pointed nose, deep-set of dark eyes and a kissable lips. I can't help but wonder what it taste like.
Then unexpectedly happened, she became my friend. Yes, despite the hatred towards each other, we became best of friends.
She would always listen to my rants about them. She would always give me the best advice I could ever asked for. She'd always pat my head and say everything will be fine.
But then one day, while I was ranting about the recent guy I ghosted because I found out that he's not over his ex, she said this.
"If you're always heartbroken when a man breaks your heart, why don't you try loving a woman instead?"
It shocked me. I've never thought of it.
"That's absurd. Who would it be?"
She just shrugged and offered me her hershey chocolate. It was our favorite. It was our comfort food. When the sweetness of the chocolate touched my sweet taste buds, it just felt surreal, you know? It's like the chocolate itself is comforting me. It taste like the whole universe is on my side and understand all of my love problems!
I took a bite of it. "I am moody, I'm bossy, I cry when I don't get what I want, I'm mean, I'm selfish! I don't deserve to be loved.."
She raised her brow. Suddenly, she snatched the hershey from my hand and ate it all! She was happy while I was almost tearing up because that was my last piece!
"You're so mean.." I murmured. My last bar of hersheys.. I just want to cry.
"That's true.." she said.
"Huh? That you are mean?"
She glanced at me. "No, that you are moody, bossy, mean, selfish, cry when you don't get what you want.." she teased. I hit her lightly as a joke. She just laughed.
"Why do you love pissing me off?" I asked.
"Why do you love torturing yourself?" She answered with a question.
"Huh?" it was me.
"Huh?" it's her.
"You stay even if the relationship is toxic anymore and it's draining you. You always tend to understand their toxic side and gaslight yourself that it's normal for them because they're a man. You are slowly changing yourself and stepping down to their level so you would relate to them. You always change yourself for a toxic man when there's a woman who loves you because it's you!" she explained.
I understand all of it. Every single bit of her words, I know it all, excluding the last part.
"A woman who loves me?" I asked. Who is it? Is it.. her? Ah, stop being assuming.
"Tsk, so naive.."
"Just go straight to the point."
"Why don't you try.. a her/she?" she handed me a hershey chocolate bar and laughed at her own joke. I pouted and stole it from her.
But then I realized that there's a paper on the back of the chocolate bar. Her face darkened as she watched me read it.
'Yes or No'
I looked at her when she spoke.
"Do you want to try with me?" she asked slowly. "I promise to give you lots of hershey's chocolate.." she chuckled.
I couldn't believe it. I hesitated. What if we break up? What will happen to us? To our friendship?
"What if we don't work? We'll risk our friendship.."
"Then, take the risk with me, please?"
I nodded. Those were one of the most impulsive decision I've ever made. But I never expected that it will also made me the happiest.
2 years had passed. We both learned to love each other genuinely. She really took her promise seriously and bought me lots pf hershey's chocolate bar. I think the perks of loving the same gender is that you both know how to understand each other.
"Hershey! Come back here!" She shouted while she was chasing Hershey, our baby.
She sighed and went to me. She handed me a hershey chocolate bar. I pouted and smiled at her.
We now decided to live together. We also decided to adopt a kitten. We named her Hershey.
"I love you," she kissed my temple.
"I love you more.." I answered.
It's funny how I kept on praying to God to give me a better man but He gave me a woman instead. An amazing woman. I'm just so thankful to have her.
Now it's just me and her, and of course, Hershey. And this is our unexpected fairytail. I could never asked for more.
:))
#HersheysMode
