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𝗔𝗙𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗜 𝗖𝗔𝗟𝗠 𝗗𝗢𝗪𝗡, i ask matt again if he can get chris. i figure now that my breathing's getting better and my vision is clearer, he'll be okay with leaving me alone here for a few minutes until he finds his brother.
"i'll call him, but i'm not leaving you here." he states decidedly.
"please matt, just go look for him. it'll take five minutes, i can be okay for five minutes." i plead.
"bella, no. let me just call him and have him come here. i don't want to leave you here, even for five minutes, because i know it can escalate again." he explains.
"whatever." i give up.
i watch as he calls chris and tells him what happened and where we are, and to come as fast as he can.
i start breathing unevenly for the second time, remembering everything again. "you were right." i manage to choke out. "it's escalating."
"chris come here fast." the boy says, before hanging up and telling me to breathe with him again, deep breaths.
matt tells me all about pokémon and pokémon go, and all the shinies he has. he explains that there are so many pokémons, it's insane.
he rants to keep me distracted, and i notice it starts to work.
and that's when chris walks in.
"isa?" he asks, sitting in front of me, a worried smile on his face.
"hey, topher." i breathe out.
he pulls me into a tight hug and kisses my head as he whispers words of reassurence into my hair while matt stands there and watches.
after about five minutes go by, chris asks his brother if he can get me some water, and the boy replies the same thing he's told me multiple times: "i'm not leaving bella here. not while she's not okay."
chris looks at his brother, a desperate look in his eyes. "please, matt. i've got her, and you'll be back here in five minutes." he begs.
matt looks over to me, a question in his eyes, and i nod, giving him an unpoken okay.
"alright." the boy says with a sigh, getting up from the floor and leaving the bathroom.
once he's gone, chris looks me in the eye and asks. "he helped you?"
i nod. "he calmed me down the first time, and i think he could've done so the second time if i hadn't insisted on having you here." i explain.
"i'm always here when you need me, but it's weird, seeing matt help you."
"i know. it's weird for me too. he really took control of the situation since it started. he was there since the beginning, so he kind of had to, but he could've called you and left, and he didn't, which is weird." i tell chris.
he nods. "i think he doesn't actally hate you."
"i'm not sure if i still do after tonight." i say.
chris opens his mouth to reply, but matt walks in, a bottle of water in his hand.
"here." he smiles as he hands it to me.
"thank you, matt." i say.
"anytime. i've experienced it first-hand so many times, i've practically got the routine down." he laughs self-conciously.
i laugh with him. "yeah, me too." i pause. "i knew you had anxiety but i didn't know it was this bad." i give him a look of slight concern, which makes his eyebrows raise in surprise.
"i didn't know yours was this bad, either. how long has this been going on?" he asks, worried.
i'm about to respond when chris intervenes. "i'm gonna let you two talk, if that's okay. if you need me, call. i'll be there in two seconds. does that sound alright?" he asks me sweetly.
"yeah, it does. thanks topher." i hug him.
"of course, isa. i've got your back. always." he responds as we pull away from the embrace.
i smile and let him go, he gives matt a 'thank you' as he leaves and closes the door behind him.
matt sits on the tiles in front of me, "how long has this been happening to you, bella?" he asks.
"the panic attacks?" i ask, and he nods. "since probably christmas in 2017, we were fourteen." i say.
since the day i got luna.
since the day matt didn't get me a present.
since the day i poured my heart into a letter that had no reply.
he seems to connect the dots to that day, and a look of regret washes over his face. "oh."
"yeah. i'd already been diagnosed for everything i have, but the panic attacks started later." i explain. "what about you?"
he nods. "me too, around christmas in 8th grade."
oh.
i nod, surprised as to the fact that they started around the same time.
"well we match, then." i smile weakly, trying to cover up my surprise.
he notices, though. but he doesn't say anything.
"yeah, we do." he smiles back, but this time it's a sad type of smile.
i take a sip of water and offer him some, too, but he declines.
"you think you're okay to stand up?" he asks.
"i think so. whenever i get panic attacks i get dizzy because i have low iron, so it's hard for me to stand up and walk and stuff without fainting." i explain.
he gives me a look that is a mix of surprise and concern.
"but don't worry." i assure him, smiling. "i'm okay, it's over. i just need to get some sugar into my system to boost my iron levels back into being normal." i say, as i stand up and grab the counter for balance.
matt nods, standing up as well. "we'll get you some candy and i'll drive you home, okay? i don't want you to be driving right now."
"i'm not drunk." i laugh.
he chuckles. "no, it's not that. you're just shaken up, and i don't want you to crash you car."
i give him a look. an unspoken 'you know i can drive right?'
he laughs softly. "plus, i'll be calmer if i know i dropped you off at home, safe."
i smile. "so that was the real reason."
his mouth turns into a tight line. "no it it was not."
"sure it was." i shrug, smiling.
he finally laughs.
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AAAAAH SUCH CUTE PATOOTIES I CAN'T 😭
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what the fuck?? • matt sturniolo
Fanfiction˚ · • . ° . in which they seem to hate each other but can't be apart. matt sturniolo × female oc "even though i said that, i still hate you." ˚ · • . ° .
