Edser'in Dünyası (EdSer OS & SS)

How much she loved him

Little one shot set in episode 24. Many in the fandom were upset at Eda for not expressing her feelings verbally to Serkan, I wasn't but thought I could play with it.

I seem to love EdSer suffering & angst, take tissues !

....

Eda angrily turned at the lights, her old Uncle protesting with streaky sounds at her brusk manœuvring.

She was so angry. Her entire existence had been shaken off rails as her grandmother made its way back into her life. Eda hated how it made her feel like all of her years of growth and independance had crumbled and she was a little vulnerable and helpless child again.

Her anger also stemmed from indignation because how dare that woman step into her life and control her ? She broke the little cristal box Serkan kept het flowers from so many months ago. She loved it so much, it was a symbol of how he loved her already then. And Semiha destroyed it in a blink. An allegory to her whole life being at risk of being shattered in a second.

Things were just finally settling down between her and Serkan. Her aunt Ayfer's birthday at the ice skating ring had been amazing. She and Serkan had felt so close, like nothing ever went wrong between them, he wanted to take her to Paris and he made her happy. She wanted nothing more than to let her walls down and leave way for her feelings but Semiha Hanim barged in. She hated her coming and hated her timing.

Eda pulled the brake and sighed, looking up at Serkan's loft. She picked her bag and shut her car, walking inside and upstairs.

To her surprise, the front door was open just slightly, she walked in. "Serkan ?" She called walking inside.

No response came and it was strangely silent. She had texted him before coming though.

Eda made a few steps inside and froze. There was blood smeared on the floor.

"Serkan?" She asked more urgently now, taking quick strides and turning the corner over the kitchen.

She gasped at the sight, the air leaving her throat. Serkan was laying down in a pool of blood.

"SERKAN!!!" She screamed and her purse and coat dropped from her hands as she rushed to his side.

Her hands trembled as she touched him and tried to find the source of the bleeding to stop it. "Serkan noldu ??" She cried out looking at his face.

"Eda..." He could barely respond and Eda felt her insides clench, her throat hurt with how it tightened.

"Burdayım... noldu ? Who did this ?? Where are you hurt ??" She asked with urgency in her voice and when she finally found the site he was bleeding from, her heart fell to the pit of her stomach, there were several stabbing wounds, oozing with blood, right in his abdomen.

Eda removed her green velours vest without thinking and packed it tightly to compress on the wounds. Serkan cried out in pain.

"Stay with me, I'm calling an ambulance, just hang on." She said trying to sound more determined and calm than she felt.

"I won't make it.." He whispered, eyes closing.

Eda looked at his pale face and the blood all around and gave in to her desperation, she craddled him in her arms.

"Lütfen, hang on, you can't leave me." Tears streamed down her face as she anguishly said craddling his face with her blood covered hands.

"Elveda, Eda Yıldız..." Serkan said with difficulty and Eda felt her heart explode.

"Hayir, gitme, gitme, Serkan lütfen." She begged crying and craddling him waiting for the ambulance.

"You're free." He said and it was almost as if his tone was accusatory, it was slicing her insides.

"Hayir!! why isn’t the blood stopping!!" She snapped desperately, her hands, and even her green skirt and upper body, bare and clad in her beige bra were stained crimson.

"Gitme lütfen !!" She begged urgently, hadn't she stayed when he begged for her to stay.

Something shifted in his eyes and he closed them. "Serkan lütfen, I can't live without you, I'll die.." She cried holding onto him so desperately.

"You will, didn’t you just text me that you wanted to leave the office ?" He said each word with difficulty but it hurt like she was stabbed herself.

"I said it because I was scared Babanne will do something to you if I didn’t obey her and she did! She just did." Eda cried and held him even closer, hugging him to her chest.

Serkan savored the feeling of being against her warm skin, for, he felt so cold, there was nowhere else he wanted to die in than her arms.

His blue orbs blinked again."I'm sorry for everything.." He apologised.

Eda shook her head furiously. "No no no, I am sorry. I am sorry it took me so long to forgive you, I am sorry I pushed you back. I am so sorry, lütfen ben burda burakma." She begged.

Serkan felt her body shake with her cries and her sobs echo in his head as he slowly felt blackness envelopping him.

Eda felt him go limp against her and looked down at him. His eyes were shut and the pain on his face gone. "Serkan, Serkann ??" She urgently checked for his pulse on his neck but couldn't find it, she checked for breathing but he wasn't breathing anymore.

"Hayir, hayir. Serkan!" She cried desperately feeling her heart shatter in a millions of pieces.

"Serkan gitme! Sen çok seviyorum - " She froze realising with dread. She had never said it. Never said it to him. He had never heard it from her.

She sobbed harder. "Sen çok seviyorum, I love you more than my life, please!!" She cried bending over and crying on his chest. "I've always loved you so very much, you know that!! Serkan!!!" Eda sobbed unconsolable.

If only he knew how much she loved him. If only she had told him before.

.....