Good omens oneshots (Angst&Fluff)

uncreative with names uhmm the chapter is sad (A)

⚠️⚠️SEASON 2 SPOILER BE CAREFUL⚠️⚠️

AN: This is my very first time writing a story in English so I already Apologize for my bad grammar and spelling :,)

⚠️TWs: suicide, overthinking, much alcohol,panic attack⚠️

Crowley was driving is his Bentley away from the bookshop after Aziraphale had left to be the supreme archangel of heaven. He tried turning the radio off, but just seconds after, it started playing again. Once more he clicked the off button but nothing happened. "Be quite" the demon said without any emotions, trying to hide the fact that he was crying underneath his dark sunglasses. Still nothing. "I said...Be. Quite." Now it was a mix of anger and frustration you could hear in his voice and the Bentley finally stopped playing music. Like always Crowley drove way over the speed limit but this time wasn't like all the other times, both he and the Bentley knew that. This time it wasn't because he simply liked driving fast or was bad at it, this time it was because of his stupid emotions. These stupid emotions and this stupid angel.
As he arrived at his flat he slammed his door and walked straight to the closet where we kept his alcoholic drinks. He just wanted to forget about everything that happened. Forget about how he was feeling and why he was feeling like it in the first place. He opened the first bottle of wine and drowned it in under a minute. He grabbed the next one and did similar. 6 bottles later Crowley was laying drunk on the couch crying his eyes out. "H-how could I be so ssstupid" he said with a broken voice. "Why would h-he ever love ME?! it's so pathetic. Who would ever love me?!, I'm a demon!!, I'm the b-bad guy. I'm the one that everyonessshappy to get rid off. And I was so stupid to think he was different..." He said sobbing while drinking from another bottle of wine. He wasn't planning on sobering himself up again any time soon, he wanted to stay drunk as long as possible.
The next morning he woke up on his couch with a massive headache and still slightly drunk. As he tried to get up he fell right over again, hitting his head on the table but he ignored the pain completely. On his way to the bathroom he threw up several times in his hallway till he finally reached the sink. He washed his mouth out with water of which parts also landed on the floor. Crowley raised his head up to the mirror and looked at his, how he thought to himself, pathetic reflection. His hair was a total mess and his shirt was half open and stained with wine and some water. The dark sunglasses, he was still wearing, we're hiding his sleepy yellow snake eyes which we're red from crying. He was barley even present in reality as he slid down the wall and sat down on the floor. He stayed like this in silence for a while till he fell into an uncomfortable sleep.
2 days later he woke up in the same position sitting on his bathroom floor. His headache was now almost entirely gone, which he didn't know if it was something to be positive about. He got up and walked to his kitchen sitting down at the table. He felt empty. Unsure if he was feeling anything at all and if he was it would most definitely be sadness and depression. This feeling of not knowing where Aziraphale was, was killing him. All these 6000 years where he knew the angel he could always sense his present, but now that he was in heaven he didn't feel anything at all. He didn't know how long he just sat there staring at the wall but he also didn't care. Not like there was anything the demon could do, there was no one who cared , so why should he? There wasn't any purpose in his life now that his angel, everything that ever mattered to Crowley, left.
Time passed. Crowley didn't know how much. Months? Weeks? Or were it just days? He lost track of time. He tried sleeping a few more times but everytime, he got nightmares about what happened, or about Aziraphale in general so he didn't. He didn't want to think about him in any way, destroyed or removed everything that reminded him of the angel from his flat. And his consumption of alcohol didn't exactly decrease either. He knew that Aziraphale wouldn't come back. He was probably happier than ever as supreme archangel not even wasting a thought on Crowley. The thought let Crowley tear up again but he couldn't really cry. He couldn't do anything with his life anymore. What was even stopping him from just ending it all? There was nothing. He thought to himself staring at the wall like he did most of the time since his angel left. There was nothing.
He reapeaded the thought a second time, before he stood up. Muriel was now taking care of the bookshop and since they're an angel they could make or even had some holy water with them.
He left his flat for the first time in months and got in the Bentley driving to the bookshop. When he arrived and was about to just walk in, due to the fact the shop was open he stopped in front of the entrance. He couldn't go inside anymore. He had to be let in, in the bookshop that was like his second home. Tears filled his eyes as he knocked on the door twice, waiting for the energetic angel to open it for him. As expected a few moments later Muriel opened the door with a big smile on their face.
"Hello demon!! How can I help you? You haven't been here in quite a while :D" Muriel said enthusiastically, looking the demon in his face.
"yea, hi uhm can I come inside?" Crowley said with a broken and cracky voice. After all he hadn't talked for at least 2 weeks.
"Sure! Is there a reason you're visiting or are you just checking in? Don't worry I haven't sold a single book!" The angel said sounding proud. Crowley walked inside sitting down on the couch. "I was actually wondering if you could give me some holy water" Crowley said on the edge to cry again. Everything in this bookshop reminded him of Aziraphale and he couldn't help but replay all these great moments he had here with his angel. All these moments that would never happen again. The bookshop felt different now that he was gone. Of cause Muriel took great care of it and nothing visibility changed but it just felt different.
"Ofc not you stupid demon! It would destroy you, I really thought you knew that" Muriel answered with a slight giggle. Crowley tried his best to put on a fake smile.
"Yea I know but I actually want it for uhmmm.. Defense against some demons incase something happens yea...just to make sure" he answered trying to sound confident in which he failed.
"Oh then it's alright!" Muriel said grabbing a can with a lid from a drawer. The demon was surprised that they believed him so quickly but after all they were an angel with not much experience on earth so it also made sense.
"Here youuuu go!" Muriel said handing Crowley the can. "Just be careful, so you don't accidentally touch it!" They said with a smile on their face. After a small conversation, Crowley honestly was just trying to get over, he got in the Bentley and drove back to his flat. He put the can of holy water on his living room desk. It was stupid but in case anyone ever looked for him he should at least leave a note.He grabbed a pen and some paper and wrote something down „I'm sorry" was all he could bring on paper. He wasn't sure if someone would actually look for him. He placed the note in the middle of the table and looked at the clock. 7:43pm. He had been home 3 hours already just sitting at this table thinking about everything. All the good memories that made him feel even more empty. Before Crowley could even do anything tears started to role down his cheeks. Everything just hurt. He grabbed the can, opened the lid and held it close to his mouth. A last time he looked around taking a deep breath between his sobs, as he lifted the bottom of the can, so the holy water could flow out, hitting his face.

2months later

It's been 6 months since Aziraphale and left earth but not a single day went by where he didn't think about Crowley or wished he was with him. He regretted choosing to go to heaven and he regretted that he was too scared to say that he loved the demon. He managed a lot in heaven and changed a few rules for the better and now it was finally the time he could visit earth or more likely visit Crowley. He knew that the demon was mad at him, which he had every right to be, but he was just hoping that he could at least get things good between them and visit more often. So he got into the elevator to earth and made his way down. He arrived in a street near Crowley's flat. He planned on visiting the demon first and then later to check in on the bookshop. As he stood in front of the entrance to the building he couldn't help but notice that Crowley's mailbox was literally overflowing with post and random flyers, tho he thought that Crowley was probably just not leaving the house much so he stepped inside and rang at the demons door. No response, so once again he rang.
"Crowley?! It's me Aziraphale! I know you're mad but please just let me in to talk to you!" The angel yelled through the door. When still nothing happened Aziraphale decided to miracle himself inside, maybe Crowley was just asleep. So the angel did, and what he saw made him feel like someone just punched him in the stomach. Everywhere on the floor and on tables were empty wine and whiskey bottles, of which some were knocked over. Crowley's beloved plants were all dry and stately dying.
"Crowley?!" The angel yelled now with worry in his voice.
"Cowley?! Crowley please answer me!!" He keeps yelling getting louder.
"CROWLEY FOR HEAVENS SAKE WHERE ARE YOU?!!" now he was almost crying. He was scared something had happened. The Crowley he knew would never let his plants even get near a condition like that.
The angel's breath got faster as he spotted something on the living room table. A note reading "I'm sorry" right after he picked up the note he saw an empty can on the floor and Crowley's familiar clothes and glasses on the couch next to it. Aziraphale was shaking and tears started to fill his eyes as he started sobbing. "No..." He said quietly under his breath, covering his mouth with his right hand. "He- he couldn't have done... no..." His breath was rapid and panicked as he broke down on his knees holding the piece of paper tightly in his hand. He picked up the can and held it upside down just for a single drop of holy water to fall on his hand. Aziraphale dropped the can. "I-its my fault... I-I did this.." He said quietly but with as much panic as you never heard in an angel's voice. His eyes were wide open and he was sobbing constantly. He looked around in terror, searching for any sign of that this didn't happen but his searching was hopeless. He moved into a corner, cowering himself into it, crying shaking and parts even screaming while still having his terrified look on Crowley's clothes just meters away on the couch. He sat there a long time, his condition not getting any better, till after hours of crying and screaming, praying that this was just a horrible dream, he fell into a dreamless and light sleep, he wished we would never wake up from again.

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WOOOOO FIRST ONESHOT DONE!! I HOPE YOU LIKED IT AND DIDN'T DIE FROM THE HORRIBLE GRAMMAR :DD

wordcount: 2065

If u have suggestions for fluff or angst tell me :3
Have a great day! :>