Boyshit, Beware

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Intro.            Making It Up
As I                                  Go.

#thirdtimesthecharm

Sooo I'm re-making my spam fic once again cuz I got bored of the layout and I literally hated everything about the old one. Plus, would I really be me if I didn't randomly decide I hate everything I write for the twelfth hundred time this month?? (The answer is no). N e way, shoutout to anybody who read all the bullshit I wrote for the drafts page from the previous layout cuz it was a LOT. (I'm not apologizing for it tho. I love to yap, if ya'll couldn't tell). Don't expect anything coherent or concise from this book cuz, contrary to popular belief, I am not mature at all, and my thoughts are never rational!

Anyways let's get this rolling 😎

Here's some stuff about me: my name is Kerbe (or Elijah), I'm seventeen, African American, and nonbinary/transmasc. My sexuality is... well, it's unfortunate for everyone involved. Tbh, I don't even know what I like really. My sexuality is really just a combination of woman worship, romantic cannibalism, a willingness to date any and all of my friends if they gave me a chance (and I can say that confidently because my friends are awesome), and arbitrary bouts of asexuality :D

Hmm... what else 🤔

I want to go to college to study psychology because the brain is actually so cool... plus I'm taking psychology and sociology as electives rn so why not 🤷🏾‍♂️. Sometimes I'm inactive for very long periods of time. However, I also like... never have anything going on outside of petty drama and typical family issues so I'm also always on this app??? Idk, don't ask me anything, I'm an unreliable source even when it comes to my own life (Rue Bennett core 😜 /j)

Some fandoms I'm in (autocorrect to fandoms I'm most deranged about): the chucky series, nbc hannibal, twilight, reservation dogs, early stranger things (yk before the writing got bad, and certain people turned out to be terrible human beings...), obx, the black phone, shameless, marvel, x-men, teen wolf, bts, the hunger games, 2017 power rangers, descendants, wolf pack, txt, heartbreak high, the imperfects, sense8, half bad: the bastard son & the devil himself (the show) and many others. Some fandoms I've recently gotten into are; my demon, percy jackson, the bear (this one's not that recent but I haven't been a part of it for long so...), and pretty little liars.

Some characters I would sell my left kidney on ebay for a chance to meet are: jj maybank, pope heyward (really just the pogues in general but those two are my loves), stiles stilinski, peter parker, jacob black, any character in reservation dogs but especially bear cuz he's literally me, will graham, s1&2 mike wheeler, charlie kelmeckis, miles morales, FANON tony stark (as in, dad tony stark cuz he's such a father ─ fuck canon tony stark tho), jason todd, the terror trio + nadine (I love them, they can do no wrong, they are my kids, if they have no fans I'm dead, if they have one it's me, if they have a thousand I am all of them), brigette fitzgerald, everett lang, do do-hee, and cha hyun-soo.

Some of my fav ships are: lumax, jjpope, wenclair, jella (JACOB AND BELLA SHOULD'VE BEEN TOGETHER IDC WHAT YA'LL SAY), vks + ben, hannigram, huma (harry and uma are in LOVE idc), stalia (they were 100% better than stydia, argue with the wall), ot5 2017 power rangers (u can't tell me they aren't poly), s1 rules, jackie/bear/elora (jackie has two hands for a reason... the chemistry was THEIR), maren/lee, nathan/annalise/gabriel, and newtmas.

Some things I'm passionate about are; batfam (+ them adopting peter parker cuz there's no way bruce wayne would see an orphaned teen superhero in spandex doing acrobatics and NOT adopt him), will graham being a silly little disaster, how jjpope should've happened because it was much more organic than jiara, LESBIAN KIE DAMNIT THAT WOMAN IS A GIRL KISSER, complicated homoerotic "platonic" relationships, the unaddressed racism/colonialism in twilight, those movies about big groups of friends that always have poly undertones, that one group of teen celebrities who are all weirdly connected in one way or another (ifykyk), the found family trope, the convoluted relationship between religion and queers, the addams family, how obx ignores its racial context, werewolves, how the lgbt community is vv racist & how the black community is violently homophobic (even tho "black lives matter" includes black queer lives but if u bring that up suddenly mfs is deaf), the complex relationship between evie zamora and tracy freeland, and the intimacy of cannibalism.

Some of my fav celebs are; the new pjo cast trio (they're so talented fr), brady noon, xochitl gomez, mckenna grace, alyvia alyn lind, bjorgvin arnarson, bella higginbotham, momona tamada, malia baker, tomdaya, jenna ortega, nico parker, bella ramsey, emma myers, sadie sink, taylor russell, ariana greenblatt, caleb mclaughlin, & finn wolfhard.

Dni if: ur a bigot in any way, support abusers/problematic people, etc.

What you should expect from this fic: rants, draft reveals, tier lists, long ass chapters cuz I love to yap, me talking abt my irl drama cuz some of it is just so stupid 2 me, sporadic updates, me changing my personality every two seconds, me constantly talking abt how shitty the cullens are, probably some think pieces, me talking abt my opinions on different shows/characters, rambles abt my ocs, etc. Honestly, this is probably gonna get annoying realll quick, but ya'll have been warned!

And, taking from the words of walker scobell, if ur a silent reader, I'll fuckin find u 👹 /j