backseat lovers (literally)

one day...

Liam and Matthew were walking down the street, as normal as can be.

"L-Liam?" Matthew stuttered, fidgeting furiously with his giant amongus pop-it

"Yea?" Liam said.

"I-I have something to tell you..." Matthew looked into Liam's chocolately orbs, and quickly diverted his eyes out of fear.

"What is it?"

"I-I-I-" Suddenly, a car flew past them at lightning speed, slashing up a wave of road juices and splashing it all over the two. The car didn't go far though, it sensed a disturbance in the force...

it sensed a gaysturbance.

the car quickly went into reverse, speeding back towards the pair, only to speed right past them again, sending another wave of road juices.

"What the hell man?" Liam exclaimed. Matthew sighed. The car slowly approached, and the two realized... IT WAS LIGHTNING MCQUEEN!!!! Matthew started jumping for joy, "OH MY GOD LIGHTNING MCQUEEN I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!! I HAVE YOUR LIMITED EDITION 1996 FL-" Lightning mcqueen interrupted him.

"I'm gonna stop you right there, fag." He said, and slowly started rolling down his window.

"W-W-What did he just call me?!?" Matthew said, tearing up. He was absolutely heartbroken at what his idol just called him.

After a few minutes, the window finally finished rolling down, revealing two people inside the back.

"YOU'RE A FAGGOT!!!!" They both screamed in perfect unison, like a pair of bees mated for life, or a pair of majestic swans doing a magical dance, or maybe a pair of newlywedded seahorses, dancing in colorful arrays to display their love for each other (i learned that one from octonauts).

Liam and Matthew gasped so hard that their lungs exploded. They collapsed to the ground like ragdolls in that one broken roblox game. They were alive tho. They were just fine. Their lungs didn't actually explode, Matthews sharp tears just accidentally popped a whoopi's cushion he was coincidentally standing on. But the two "besties" in lightning mcqueen didn't need to know that, so they swiftly drove away, to infinity, and beyond.

Closeted homophone 1 looked to Closeted homophone 2 in his big, green orbs.

"This doesn't seem as satisfying as it used to, closeted homophobe 2..." Closeted homophobe 1 said, sighing. Closeted homophobe 2 sighed too, placing his hand to rest over the hand of homophobe 1.

"Yea... soemthing about it feels different. I don't feel mad at them anymore... I think I feel... jealous?" Closeted homophobe 2 said. Closeted homophobe 1's eyes widened.

"You couldn't possibly mean..." He said. Closeted homophobe 2 looked up at him, with guilt in his shiny green orbs.

"NO! I WONT ACCEPT THIS! DONT FORGET ABOUT OUR PURPOSE ON THIS EARTH! WE NEED TO FUCK WOMEN! HAVE KIDS! EAT STEAK EVERY NIGHT AND WATCH FOOTBALL!! WE CANNOT ALLOW THIS BLASPHEMY!" Closeted homophobe 1 exclaimed. Suddenly, lightning mcqueen stopped. They arrived home.

"We need to take this inside. mcqueen." Closeted homophobe 1 said. Closeted homophobe 2 hasn't said anything for quite some time now. Lightning mcqueen condensed himself in order to fit through the door, pushing closeted homophone 1, closer to closeted homophone 2. They were so close all of a sudden, that their warm bodies were pressed against each other. Closeted homophobe 1 started to squirm.

"I don't want to be this close to you... It weirds me out." He said. Closeted homophobe 2 felt ashamed, and scared. All Closered homophobe 2 wanted was to feel his partners cock in him. But Closeted homophobe 1's mind was set on heterosexuality... for now.