When the hottest man out there thinks he can have 10 side chicks at once, he ends up losing the one! Can he win any of them back? Or is he doomed to be alone forever?
Y/n walks through the fairy tale forest, her long, golden locks tied in a messy bun. Her massive, blue orbs shone in the sun. It was 50 degrees Celsius outside, yet she still wore her massive jumper and it dragged on the floor. It was very sweaty and she liked to smell it. "I-I-I-I-I-I I hope he's w-w-w-w-waiting for m-m-m-me UWU." She stutters as she walks to her alpha boyfriend's house. She reaches a patch in the forest where the green ogre's little cabin sits, with its bubbling, brown swamp. Y/N's heart pounds out of her tiny chest (she is only 3 foot tall so she almost dies from a heart attack).
SUDDENLY... the door swings open, revealing the sexiest ogre known to man! He wiggles his snake eyebrows at y/n and comes stepping over. As she watches in memorisation, her phone buzzes. It was that damn player Sonic! Ugh, he made her so mad!!!!!!! He has cheated on everyone he has dated and she wasn't about to fall for his manly, light skin charm, nu uh! Besides, Shrek's abs are far more prominent. Shrek stands in front of Y/N, towering over her tiny body
"Hello baby girl." Shrek smirks, in a deep voice,
"H-h-h-hello..." Y/N shakes
Shrek suddenly picks her up so she can smell his onion breath,
"Get in my swamp!" Shrek says, the cheekiness dripping from his speech. Before Y/N could reply, Shrek spins her around and launches her into the swamp. She comes plummeting down but only causes a tiny ripple in the tetanus water. Just then, Nicki Minaj walks over, "What!?" Y/N thinks to herself,
"Who is this bitch in our swamp!?" She raps. Shrek is silent, but without a, word he drags her in with himself and Y/N. She launches at Y/N and pulls her locks. Her messy bun falls out and her hair gets soaked in mud from the sexy, swamp water.
"Ladies calm down!" Shrek says and separates the two women
"Shrek is my pookie!" Y/N cries,
"Nu uh Bitch! You're not my son you're my mf step son!" Nicki replies. Shrek knows how to solve this. He pulls out his rizz face and the world stops! Y/N and Nicki both faint and Shrek catches them both just in time. Shrek smooches them both and then Barry, Gru and Grug all arrive at the same time, shortly followed by Obama, Peppa pig and Santa Claus.
All of his side chicks stand around, unable to process what they are seeing. Their Shrek!? The one that found them crying alone!? No, he couldn't be cheating on them! Shrek hops out of the swamp like Mario and runs to smooch Grug, but he throws one of his berry pies at Shrek's face.
"How could you Shrek!!!?" Grug sobs, Gru crying on his shoulder,
"What about the gorls!?" Gru sobs.
"How could I have BEEn so stupid?!" Barry sighs,
"Man... this is worse than 911." Obama says,
"Ho, ho, ho. You're on the naughty list!" Santa chuckles,
"Oink Oink, I can't believe my eyes! Oink." Peppa states, breaking the fourth wall.
"Guys... It's not what it looks like!" Shrek says, trying to be the alpha. Shrek begins to dance and seduces everyone. Two seconds later, he is kissing everyone at the same time, Y/N in the centre. Y/N gets a text from Sonic saying, "Do you send?" As he is walking through the forest on his usual random walk so he can show off his rizz. Somehow he manages to make his way to the swamp and finds everyone there; Sonic stands in shock, his face turning pale. They all stop, managing to break free from Shrek's beguiling spell. Realisation overcomes Obama and he leaves in embarrassment, after all, he has presidential duties to attend to. Everyone else stands around, shocked by what they have just done, Y/N goes to slap Shrek in the face but her arms are too little to reach; she stomps in fury.
"What did you do to us?!" Gru cries, Shrek looks down, unsure of what to say. Santa shakes his head,
"Be expecting coal in your stocking this year..." He says sorrowfully as he ho ho ho's home. Eventually everyone leaves, disappointed and upset. Just as Y/N is about to walk away Sonic grabs her arm. Y/N spins around, her muddy locks flowing behind her.
"W-w-w-what do y-you want S-s-sonic?!" She says, tearing up.
"I have some dirt on Shrek, i think you should see it.." Sonic says, pulling out his phone. He turns the screen to face Y/N and it shows a picture of Shrek and Shadow.
The photo:
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Y/N can't believe what she's seeing and a little weep escapes her lips, all of a sudden, Shadow emerges from the forest. He raises and eyebrow, wondering what Y/N and Sonic are doing at Shrek's swamp, then he realises the phone.
"What's that?" He says, pointing to the phone. Sonic quickly hides it behind his back but Shadow snatches it off him. His eyes widen in shock.
"WHERE DID YOU GET THIS?!" Shadow screams."
"Give my phone back!" Sonic tries to take it back but Shadow pulls it out of his reach.
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Shadow looks down at the phone and then up at Shrek. Sonic looks down, then looks back up at Shadow (Tiktok POV boy style), "He's been cheating on you..."
"He's been cheating on ALL of us!" Y/N sobs
"What do you mean all of us!?" Shadow asks,
"Sorry guys, he's just a player. But me on the other hand..." Sonic smirks.
"Don't lie! So are you!" Y/N says,
"Shadow please! come ogre here baby!" Shrek says, hoping to win his favourite chick back, "How could I!? Just leave me alone Shrek!" He cries and throws the phone, before skating away in a flash,
"Man, my phone!" Sonic complains, picking it up off the muddy ground.
"Well, looks like I'm marrying Y/N." Shrek says and princess carries Y/N away.
