"Stop there where you are.Approach no further.Remember ! you can't come near a womanizer" "You love me ! I know" Jungkook hoarsely completed the sentence which chaeyoung desperately wanted to blurted out.But with a scoff.She watched his face for any...
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The river curling away beneath the walls of the Joseon fort was a faint gleam in the light of the new moon but as Jungkook walked the battlements he barely noticed the beauty of the night. Over one years passed since he lost his slumber.Sleeplessness night became his habit.Some people revel in the sensory calm that isolation can bring, and the creativity it can bring to life. For him, being alone was his worst nightmare even if he never admitted. With nothing to do apart his administrative duties and no one to talk to , his deepest pain clawed at the base of his throat and buried themselves in his chest, stopping the gentle thud of his heart. Shutting out the plague of white, he drifted into a world of her own, experiences dancing with memories until the line between them was blurred. He took solace in loneliness; a transient fortress that only he could enter. Escaping reality was the easy part. There was only so long he could hide before it started breaking down his walls.
Namjoon and yeri were aways have been close to his heart. The only most trusted friends he has left. Even then they also couldn't change the emptiness of his life or sooth his heart ache. How can he expect them to heal the wounds of his inner heart when his is own mother didn't.How could anybody, when she didn't understand his heart ?
Yejin his mother lived like a true queen in her whole life. Not only a joseon queen but also dutiful and loving wife too. Unfortunately she wasn't the mother he needed. She had left him to seo Hyun as a 14 month old and never bothered about due to her busy political battle.Despite of possessing good heart she never tried to love him or understand him. He has never known the warmth and selflessness of maternal love in childhood on the contrary it was the period of great emotional and psychological turmoil for him.On the other hand His own mother stood behind the line of courtesy she choosed a respected queen's life by always putting the empress's duties not bothering about her son.He was simply dumped by his natural mother.
Yejin was love of his father's life. She too loved her husband dearly. But as a child he have never had that type of attention and wish that one day she would give him half of it. It made more sense when she left him for his safety reasons.
He once again saw a glimpse of it a minute before. His mother wanted to console him and she conveyed her inner emotions by words.He would have forgiven her if she had gave him a motherly love with out caring about others presence and without considering his hesitancy.While looking at her he felt the intensity of her love for him and wished she would hugg him, but that was not her way and her arms remained by her sides.It's hard to erase the hurts of the past-and to be honest, sometimes it simply doesn't happen. Loneliness was what he have been use to all his life.The pain she gifted was so deep that they must stay below the surface like ocean currents. No one will going to change that. No one !!
Last, with the sun rising high into a pale blue sky patterned with clouds blowing in from the west, Jungkook returned to his room, Almost at once he noticed an item he was sure hadn't been there earlier. Someone had placed what looked like a strip of material on top of the ivory and mother of pearl.in laid box in which he kept some of his jewels. They had also taken the precaution of weighting the strip down with an ivory paperweight carved like a lotus flower. Picking up the material, he saw it was a scrap of pale green silk with several lines of writing upon it. Here and there the author had allowed a few drops of blue ink to fall. It looked like the work of a child and he was about to toss it aside when some instinct told him not to. Instead, he took the piece of fabric out on to the balcony where the light was better. Why had the author chosen to write on silk not paper? Perhaps to disguise their handwriting, not that it made any difference to him, since he couldn't read it anyway. The more he looked, the more the thick, inky symbols seemed to dance about. Jungkook clapped his hands two time deciding to call Jung Hoseok.
