Alone - SatoSugu Angst

One shot

Being the strongest isn't always fun. Ever since Satoru were a child, he's always been looked up to like a god. The first person to possess both the limitless and the six eyes in four hundred years, the pride of the Gojo clan, the only hopes for the new jujutsu world era, is what the people view him as a human. They treat him lovingly of course. However as the older he gets, the more he becomes mature enough to understands the perspectives of the people. They viewed him straight as a god they worshipped and not as a normal child he thought he was. This kind of life treatment caused him to become more arrogant and extremely confident in his abilities. He truly believes he was invincible, powerful and obviously the strongest in this world.

That was until he was introduced to Suguru Geto. His one and only person whom he thought was equal to him, the one and only person who understands him, the one who turned his world upside down, the person who changed his whole ideal and perspective of the world in 360. Suguru Geto was no one special, he was just another ordinary-yet strong sorcerer who happens to be in the same school and class as Satoru. However to Satoru, he meant the world and everything to him. They have laughed, cried, went through everything in life with each by their side for years. They were inseparable in their student time. They were happy by just being in each other's presence, there were nothing more than what they could've wish for in that time. Nevertheless, they say happy things don't last forever- and it's true.

Things turned a whole 360 degree after Riko Amanai's death. Suguru's ideality of the jujutsu world became more and more unclear to which brought him decided to create a world without non-sorcerer to which he referred as " monkeys" by killing all of them. Satoru who was the best friend of the mass murderer now, could not comprehend from what he just heard from the news. He wondered, how could Suguru Geto whom he thought was much more of a kind and well-mannered person than himself did something sinful as unforgivable as this? How did this happen? How did he not notice the path that he was embarking on despite being the closest one to him? He don't understand. He doesn't understand in what way could possibly drove his best friend to do something like this. He subconsciously clenches his fist until it draws blood. He couldn't believe it, his best friend? out of all? killing innocent people? He gritted his teeth, anger, sadness, sorrow, frustration all built up in his gut, knowing all he could do right now was to accept the truth, deep down he still wished that it wasn't Suguru's true intention to commit all these sinful crimes.

Satoru reaches out for his friend, to help him, to convince him, to lead him back to the light, to take him back from the dark hollow he fell down in. Though he knew that it was all useless. He knew. He knew all this time that Suguru could not be saved anymore, he was infected, he has done something that cannot be undone or forgiven. He was done for. He needs to be aware that things could not go back to the way it is.

Suguru was the only one who actually, genuinely showed an affection that Satoru has not been receiving all his life. Sure, his family were loving, but it was a different kind of affection that Suguru gave him. His family were literally worshipping him like a god, meanwhile Suguru treats him like a normal friend anyone would have. Suguru felt like his safe, comfort place. Satoru would go to him whenever he's upset and Suguru would listen and comfort him. Satoru would goof around Suguru until he gets annoyed but stops knowing his limit. He always feel at ease whenever he's around Suguru. At least for him. He will never admit it out loud of course. Satoru's heart aches at the thought of losing his one and only best friend. His chest tightens, he felt his breath short. The room felt suffocating around him. His head is spinning like crazy. He was unconsciously having a mental breakdown. He couldn't bear the absence of his best friend- no, he couldn't bear the thought of being all alone again. That's it. He is all alone, again.

                                  ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Alone, yeah the strongest always ends up alone. Being the strongest isn't always easy. It isn't always fun. Being the strongest is a curse. Being the strongest means you have to protect the people you care about around you, but that also means you have to bear the burden of the people you lost around you.  Sometimes, even for the strongest, you can't save everyone. People would never understand, no one would understand. Perhaps it has been this way all along. Perhaps this is how things were meant to be. What was the purpose of me living again?- is what Satoru questions himself.

It has always been this one thing that Satoru feared and despised. That is being alone. He hates being alone. He hates that he had no one to rely on. He hates that when that time comes, he's stuck in this dark, empty space where no one will come and save him. He hated it with all his heart and passion. He hated those kind of thoughts, and now the thoughts are real- he's all alone, now that Suguru's left him. Again, perhaps this is how things were meant to be. This is what I deserved, I don't deserve to be happy, I shouldn't be surprised things went this way, I should've seen this coming- was all he could repeat in his mind. Satoru kept blaming himself because of how he overlooked the change in Suguru's behavior back then. He swore to the heavens he will never forgive himself for letting his best friend go.

                                          
                              ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚　˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

His breathing ragged. A great throbbing settled from his heart, so intense that it felt like it might burst from his skin anytime. What lays in front of him was a lifeless body, something he had cherished for dear life, something he'd fear on losing. He did it. He had killed the traitor, the one he considered as his one and only, the person he thought was the one for him. Suguru Geto. The guilt pools down in his gut. He had to punch himself in the face a few times in hopes this was all just a dream. Unfortunately to his disliking it's not. He didn't cry. He doesn't cry of course, crying is not something he thought as a sorcerer, necessary, sorcerers can't cry, crying is a sign of weakness- is what he truly believes.

Suddenly, a single tear ran down his cheeks unintentionally. The sudden realization hits him which made him rub off the tears on his face as fast as he could. However the more he rubs the more tears came out from his cerulean blue eyes. He was such a mess. His tears and snots were all over his pretty face. He broke down instantly. He decided to take this only moment to let out his vulnerable side in front of his best friend's corpse like how he used to. While Suguru was still alive, he's the only person that Satoru had ever shown this side of him. Because he knew that Suguru would never judge him like anyone else would. 

Now that his source of light had disappeared from his life, he thought his world crumbles apart after his light is gone. His vision of the world looked gray. He doesn't feel anything. He felt numb, empty and hollow. He felt like his heart doesn't exist in this time of life. How pathetic, he thought. Even for the strongest being like him could feel these kind of things. Does he even had the right to feel like this? Sorcerers shouldn't be allowed to express emotions. He knew that, of course he's aware of that, but he still couldn't bring himself to even smile. He hates it. He hated himself. 

    
                                ☆.｡.:*　.｡.:*☆

Before he knew it, he couldn't feel his torso nor his legs. In front of him, standing the King of Curses, Ryomen Sukuna. He dropped off to the ground, realizing it's only his upper body that has been dropped off. Catching up to the situations, it doesn't take long for Satoru to finally understand that it was around that time of people's life would end, everyone will die when their time comes anyway. The difference is just that it's his time. But dying pathetically like this as the strongest is definitely not his thing. It never was. He could've died a lot more other beautiful ways but no. What could he do though? He was already dying.

To think that his only ever last life flashing image was none other than his best friend himself, Suguru. He wasn't surprised, rather, it was expected, after all he was his one and only. He slightly lets out a tired chuckle with all his might left, remembering all his times with Suguru. After all these decades, I finally got to be with you, Suguru. He thought, but little did he know that hell would freeze over before he even get the chance to meet with his friend in heaven. 
                           ︵‿︵(´ ͡༎ຶ ͜ʖ ͡༎ຶ ')︵‿︵
End chapter.

Art cover credit:
diosaurr