Hello! i am very nervous about sharing my fanfictions as they are very personal to me. I usually only write for myself but since these characters aren't my ocs, i decided to finally share a story i made. It's been literal years since i've shared any...
Lord Boxman grumbled at his desk. His head was in his hands and he didn't even bother looking up at either his broken ceiling or his child that had failed him yet again by crashing through it. Raymond stood up awkwardly and brushed off his leg with his remaining arm, the other had been blown off in battle, looking at his father, he had expected a punishment as usual but Boxman just waved him away without saying a word.
Somehow that was worse.
Raymond sighed. He was damaged beyond repair and did the honors of resetting himself in the middle of the room. A new body was immediately produced and he stepped off the conveyor belt to meet the unexpected face of Professor Venomous, who was writing something on a clipboard he held in his hands.
He had moved in not too long ago but he still made Raymond feel somewhat on edge. He was a powerful villain, after all who seemed to appear out of nowhere so he didn't feel TOO bad about not really liking him, but at the same time, he was basically his dad now? It was weird.
"Oh! Hello, sir." Raymond said to Venomous. Fink, who was right next to him, gave Raymond a dirty look and scampered behind Venomous' leg. Fink was also rather...strange. He had no doubt that she was very serious about protecting her master, and admittedly he much preferred her as opposed to PV or even Boxman on some days, but even still, her presence somehow made him even more uneasy.
Venomous didn't even look up from his clipboard and for a moment, Raymond thought he hadn't heard him. He didn't want to leave without a proper greeting, though. Raymond wasn't exactly sure how strict PV was about that kind of thing and he wasn't really willing to find out. "Uh, hello, professor." He said, slightly louder. Venomous heard him this time and turned his head backwards and slightly upside-down to face Raymond without having to actually turn.
"Hello, Raymond." He said finally after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence and even more uncomfortable eye contact. He turned back to his work and walked off while continuing to write. Raymond couldn't help but feel weird around him. If living up to his father's standards wasn't hard enough, messing up around PV was a million times worse. Any fault that PV noticed always was passed on to Boxman as something that was supposedly his fault to which he would pass it onto Raymond once again and scold him for it. It was exhausting. Luckily, PV didn't seem to care much today. Today...
Failure wasn't exactly new to Raymond. He failed at many things all the time. But failing in front of his father was a crime. And if PV was around to give Boxman a look that said that he wasn't doing enough, then Boxman would go out of his way to humiliate Raymond right in front of PV. To show PV that he WAS a villain worth his time. And as much as Raymond was glad to help his father to look better, he really wished it didn't come at the expense of his own feelings.
But it wasn't like he could just TELL his father that. As if he'd even listen if he got the courage to do it. These were the kinds of things he was forced to keep inside. It hurt, but there wasn't exactly an alternative. Not now at least. Raymond walked through the long hallways of Boxmore. They all looked exactly the same but he was programmed to know the exact location of everything in the factory. As he ran his claw through one of the grooves in the wall, he kind of wished he could get lost here. Alone and unbothered by his father or the judgemental eyes of the professor and Fink. It was such a simple wish but it made his mind stir every time he thought about it.
He approached the play room. He could already hear laughing from about 5 doors down. His siblings were...quite loud. But he felt much more comfortable around them than he did around anything organic in this place. He peeked into the room to see Darrell and Shannon playing some board game. Well, playing with the parts of the board game, but they certainly weren't following the rules of the game. In fact, Darrell had the box that the game went in on his head.
He walked fully into the room and sat on the couch and watched his siblings play. They didn't even notice him walk in and definitely didn't hear him over the noise they were making. It was a bit irritating to hear them scream at each other and watch them snatch things from each other like a couple of toddlers, but at least right now he didn't feel absolutely worthless. At least if I don't think about it too much...
He sighed under his breath. If only he could be that carefree. Not worrying about how others thought constantly and always feeling a second away from breaking down. Seeing people happy was supposed to make him happy, but all it did was make him realize how happy he wasn't. It just wasn't fair. He tried harder than all his siblings combined. How come he was still the embarrassment? And who knows, maybe even they thought he wasn't worth it either. Maybe if Shannon and Darrell had seen him fail over and over they would scold him too. Or maybe they would silently hate him and he would never know what he did wrong. Forever trying to please people who don't care.
He loved his family, he really did. But right now he just couldn't see him. Part of him was thankful that the two were too busy fighting each other for game pieces to see him leave. He couldn't stand it for a moment longer. He walked down the familiar hallways yet again to his room. It was one of the only places he actually felt completely safe. In here he didn't have to try to impress people. Unfortunately, it was also a great place to think. And thinking was the absolute LAST thing he wanted to do right now. If he would rip out his wires right now he would if that didn't mean he would just reset and have to walk all the way back.
He slumped down on his bed, exhausted. It was frustrating how simply thinking could make him so tired so quickly. It's certainly not a feature that a perfect robot would have. But he wasn't perfect. He was far from it. Is that what he wanted? To be perfect? Unable to fail? He was a computer after all, he wasn't supposed to fail. And yet, he did. Very often. He failed his father. He failed his siblings. He failed as a robot. Almost every single day.
Before he knew it, he was thinking about every failure. Every slip-up. Every mistake. Every single one he ever made all at once. It was intense and really didn't make him feel better to analyze everything he did wrong over and over again in his mind yet again. It hurt. It hurt more than having his arm blown off. It hurt more than crashing through a roof. It hurt more than the silence of his father and the smell of disappointment in the air like a thick fog. It hurt more than anything in the world. More than he was even programmed to feel. More than he ever wanted to feel. And he cried. He cried a lot. He didn't even care if his siblings or his father or PV or fink heard him. Somewhere deep down he wanted them to. To let them know what they did to him.
He didn't want to be perfect anymore. He didn't know if he ever did in the first place. But he certainly couldn't keep living like this. He didn't know if he could handle keeping it inside anymore. And that made him cry even more.
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