I never fall in love. I have no experience in love. I have no experience going on a date with someone. There is, but it's all an online dating and a long distance relationship— where you don't even know who you talking to behind the screen. You don't even know how their face look like, how their voice sounds and all you know about them is their personalities. If we vibe, let's dig in. If not, we will simply left the conversation.
I used to be in a relationship but, I don't know if my online relationship can be count as a real life dating experience. But, I do remember it feels so real, so high, so in love. Make me sleepless every night, make me do things I never tried, make me say words I have never told. I don't even know who the hell are they behind the screen and everything they say could be an exaggeration or a deception but I can't help but feeling irritated, annoyed, easily affected because I am too attached even though I know there's no guarantee the relationship will last.
So, I don't know if I consider myself as taken because it's an online relationship. Fake world, fake feeling. They said. A relationship that is met purely online, and never yet in the physical world. We have never touched, never breathed each other’s air, never going out together and be shown to others. Can it be counted as real?
Oh, anyways. I was once fall in love with someone from online. We have been in online relationship for a quite long time. I didn't expect that he would take this relationship seriously. He invited me to meet and I agreed since we're living in the same city.
— x —
He took a few steps closer, clearing his throat “Kim Dokja..?”
I didn't move. ‘𝘠𝘰𝘰 𝘑𝘰𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘬...? 𝘐𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘑𝘰𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘬— 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴?’ He looked like an...angel. A perfect creature that God ever created. A perfect creature that God takes time putting detail into his art. He's impossibly beautiful, like a painting.
Thump, thump, thump.
I could hear the sound of too fast patter of my heart, fluttering against my ribs like someone knocking frantically at a locked door.
“Kim Dokja...?” He gently tapped my shoulder, repeating my name once more. I was completely out before snapped back to reality.
“Yes, yes, I am. And you're Yoo Joonghyuk...?” I asked with a wide smile plastered across my face.
“Yes, I am.” He nodded his head, smiling softly. Yoo Joonghyuk is the name.”
Thump, thump, thump.
I could feel my heart thumping more aggressively at the sound of his voice. I'm pretty damn sure that Yoo Joonghyuk could hear each beat if he stand a lil'bit closer to me.
“We finally met, love.” Yoo Joonghyuk, said as he stretched out his hand to me for a handshake with a sheepish smile curved on his well-shaped lips. “It's very nice to meet you.”
Lo— love...? Oh, well technically he's not wrong. We've been in online relationship for two years, it just I don't have any plans on meeting him or putting a high expectations in our relationship. He can come and go as he please but now look at us. Look at me, having a hard time to breathe at the sound of his voice. How silly. How ridiculous! Have I finally lost my mind? I thought to myself as I shook his hand. “It was nice to meet you too, Joonghyuk-ssi.”
He held my hand with a firm grip, his face immediately turned black. “Baby.”
I looked at him in the eyes, tilting my head to the one side “Baby...what?” I asked, slightly confused. What's up with this guy being so bold in our first meeting? Jeez.
