A Baird and the Snow

Three

"I believe that there's a natural goodness built into everyone," Lucy Gray said and Coryo felt his heart thump in his chest.

That was his Lucy Gray.

"We have to make it our life's work to not cross the line into evil." Lucy Gray continued.

She was right. But so far they both didn't have an amazing track record. Hers was far better than his however. She did what she had to in that arena and Coryo...

He did what he had to Bobbin. To protect himself and Sejanus. But there was more that stained the white snow that was Coriolanus. In fact he was more of a gray than a white.

"And of course there are tough decisions to be made in life. That's been proven with each hunger games there's been. I'm glad it's over. I don't want to ever kill another person."

Coriolanus agreed with that. "Yeah, three is enough for a single lifetime. Leaving Panem to go north is what we both need."

Lucy gray nodded, pulling his mother's scarf tighter around herself before stopping in her tracks when she spotted a black and orange snake slithering across the ground, over the twigs and leaves.

The sun was shining through the forest canopy above them and Coriolanus could see the edge of the lake ahead.

Lucy Gray snapped around suddenly. "Three?"

Coriolanus cursed under his breath. She only knew about two. Bobbin and Mayfair.

"Don't you dare lie to me, Coriolanus," Lucy Gray said harshly, reading the thoughts in my hand that scoured for a story to make up about the third. "Who was the third?"

Sejanus. I can't tell her. I can't tell her that.

But she's look at me with such a desperate look in her eyes that I'm aching to tell her.

The harsh desperation softened into sadness. "Coriolanus, we promised each other that we could trust one another. Trust means no secrets."

Trust was the most important thing to Lucy Gray and Coriolanus knew it. He wanted her trust so badly, but secrets aren't given without cost. Especially this one. He's betrayed his best friend out of selfishness. How could he tell Lucy Gray that?

Pure as the driven snow.

That's how she saw him. How could he taint that when that's how he wanted to be seen?

"We have to be honest with each other, Coriolanus." She stepped closer to him, reaching out to touch him where his jaw was clenched. "It doesn't matter who anymore. We're both killers now. Might as well accept it." She said sadly, dropping her hand to his chest where his dog tags rested.

Coriolanus knew she would be able to feel his heart racing in his chest. Both from having her so near but also from the truth hovering so cautiously on his tongue.

•••

Lucy Gray watched Coriolanus carefully. She didn't want them to be hiding anything from each other, especially when they were running away together. Secrets never ended without tears and heartbreak.

She could see him battling with himself about whether or not to tell her. He couldn't lie now. She knew he had something to hide.

He can either not tell her the truth or nothing at all. "No lies," Lucy Gray said softly.

His eyes were feeling with tears and his breathing was getting heavier and faster. Lucy Gray took his face in her hands, shushing him and trying to give what comfort she could.

She knew more than a little about what kind of guilt comes with killing. She can still feel it, every time she remembers the 23 other tributes from that damned game.

"Lucy Gray," Coriolanus said, his voice heavy and cracking. "I betrayed him," his voice comes out in a wrangled sound, close to wail and a sob. "I was just trying to protect him. He was making a mistake and I couldn't watch him get caught and killed because of it. But I killed him anyway. They hung him."

Coriolanus dropped to his knees and Lucy Gray watched in horror as the man she knew as tough and controlled started to fall apart.

Sejanus. He was talking about Sejanus. From what Lucy Gray knew, they were best friends. She can see that fact tearing him apart.

She lowered down onto her knees in front of him, pulling his head against her chest to hold him. She slid her hand across his head, missing the way his curls would go between her fingers and instead finding the buzz cut that came with his military position.

Sometimes she still couldn't believe that he was here, in 12. After the games, when Dean Highbottom sent her home, she thought she would never see him again. But he's here and right now, that was all that mattered. They were together. She didn't care if Sejanus was his fault. And she didn't truly believe that his death was completely his fault. Sejanus made his own decisions and should have realized what consequences they came with.

Lucy Gray kissed Coriolanus' cheek and pulled back to meet his icy blue eyes. "It's okay, Coriolanus," she said, smiling sadly at him. "Sejanus met the fate that he wrote for himself. We all do things we're not proud of to survive. We need to figure out how to put all of this behind us."

Coriolanus slid his hands around Lucy Gray, pulling her closer to kiss her on the lips. She could feel the trail of tears on his cheeks and she wiped them dry.

"We should keep moving," Lucy Gray whispered, standing and helping Coriolanus up as he nodded his agreement.

"We can stop for food at the cabin, catch some fish," Coriolanus said, shouldering his pack.

Lucy Gray nodded, pulling the scarf gifted to her tighter around her body. "I'll farm some Katniss as well," she said.

Coriolanus looked at her funny. "I thought you said it wasn't ready yet."

Lucy Gray shrugged. "It was well enough last time. We're going to need all the food we can get."

Coryo nodded then looked up. "It's going to rain."

And just like that, it started pouring.

Lucy Gray let out a joyful shriek, grabbing Coryo's hand and pulling him to the cabin in a full sprint.

Coryo laughed as she pulled him along and they bursted through the door, dropping their wet packs and shaking out their arms to get the dripping water off of them.

"Fishing poles are in the floorboard if you still want to get fish," Lucy gray said, hanging the scar from a hook on the door to let it dry. She turned when Coryo asked if the floorboard he was kneeling in front of was the right one. She nodded.

She went through her pack hanging the one other set of clothes that she packed and hanging it to dry as well. It was silent for a long minute, and curious, Lucy Gray turned.

She saw Coriolanus still kneeling in front of the now open floorboard, except now he was holding a shotgun.

***

Author's notes:

I absolutely loved The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes. I love Lucy Gray and I love young Coriolanus Snow. I love the idea of what could have been if Coryo hadn't let his paranoia get the better of him.

I searched and searched for a good fanfic and didn't find one that fit what I was looking for. So I decided to write one :) let me know what you think and please please vote!! 💛

P.S. please check out some of my other works!! :)