Mr. Crocker x Squidward

Denzel Crocker sat at his desk, alone. School had just let out and he was in no hurry to leave. After all, it's not like he had anything waiting for him back home. He sighed and reluctantly stood up. He began to make his way to The Crocker Cave, when suddenly he stopped. He had just turned the corner and came face to face with "Timmy Turner," Crocker began. "What are you still doing here. The bell already rang. Are you loitering, Timmy?" He peered down at the small boy. "What? No, of course not! I just uh forgot my backpack?" Crocker was about to respond when he saw it. Hovering behind Timmy, it was a bright yellow twinkle. Denzel recognized that twinkle anywhere. "Fairy Godparents!" Denzel shouted, quickly followed by a twitching motion. "Whaaat? I have no idea what you're talking about." Timmy responded, letting out a nervous giggle. "Well I should really be leaving now, Mr. Crocker. Um bye, see you tomorrow." Timmy Turner turned around to leave. Crocker watched as Timmy left the school. He didn't have a fairy trap with him right now, but now was his chance. Without thinking, he swooped at the shining light and in one motion grabbed the fairies. Timmy left, seemingly not noticing they were gone. Crocker stared down at them. Today was his lucky day. He clenched the fairies tight and ran to The Crocker Cave as fast as his long legs would carry him. He tossed the fairies into a glass crate and slammed the lid down. "Timmy's going to realize we're gone sooner or later!" Wanda shouted. "Quiet!" Denzel shouted in retaliation. "Hey, there's no need to be rude about it." Cosmo stated. Denzel grabbed the glass crate and pressed his face against it, gazing at the fairies. "Well, the way I see it you're my fairies until Timmy Turner comes back for you. That is in Da Rules, right?" Crocker asked, grinning. "There's no way that's a real rule!" Cosmo exclaimed. Wanda pulled out Da Rules and looked through the pages. "Well Cosmo, it appears he's right. We're his fairy godparents until Timmy comes back for us." Wanda let out a sigh. "Haha! Yes! I finally have fairy godparents again." Crocker bounced up and down in twitchy excitement. Denzel decided it was best not to make any wishes yet. He should really take a minute to decide what his best play was here. He didn't want to say something he'd regret. He sat down and turned on the TV. Television usually calmed him down and helped him think clearly. He turned it on and flipped through the channels. He stopped once he saw Spongebob SquarePants. Crocker sighed. "I wish I was in Spongebob. Everything seems so simple there." He said without thinking. Then there was a puff of smoke and he was underwater. "I wish I could breathe underwater!" Crocker shouted. Another puff of smoke and he was fine. It was in that moment it dawned on him. What he had said. He had wished to be in Spongebob without thinking. Well, he had already made the wish now. Might as well enjoy it for a little while. He had plenty of time before Timmy showed up for his fairies. He walked around. This place was so bizarre. That's when he saw it. The Krusty Krab. He walked inside, not sure what to expect. That's when he saw him, standing at the cash register. Squidward Tentacles, the best, and most attractive, character. Crocker suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe. He swallowed down his nervousness and made his way to the cash register. Squidward looked over at him, awaiting an order. "Hello, Squidward!" Denzel exclaimed, his voice filled with enthusiasm. "You know my name?" Squidward replied. "Of course I know your name! You're Squidward Tentacles! You're incredible, not to mention cute." Crocker smiled. Squidward felt his face heat up. He wasn't used to someone being so nice to him. "Are you," Squidward cleared his throat, "flirting with me?" Denzel paused for a moment. What was he doing? He had a job to return to. I mean, granted, he hated that job. It's not like he necessarily had to return, especially if this went well. "For a matter of fact, I am." Crocker extended his hand. "I'm Denzel Crocker, pleasure to finally meet you." Squidward reluctantly shook the strange, yet nice, man's hand. "So, how exactly do you know who I am? I'm fairly certain I'd recognize you if we had met before." Denzel stopped to think. How could he explain this? He certainly couldn't tell him he's a fictional character, that never ends well. "I uh... I'm a fan of your music!" Crocker hoped that answer was good enough to believe. Squidward's face lit up in that moment. "You actually like my music?!" Squidward eagerly awaited a response. "Yes, I'm a big fan of yours." Squidward began to ramble on about music, Crocker listened enthusiastically. "Squidward!" A voice shouted from behind them. They both instinctively turned to greet the owner of the loud voice. It was Mr. Krabs. "M-Mr. Krabs!" Squidward squeaked. "What are you doing, boy? Yer supposed to be working." Mr. Krabs replied. "I know, I know. It's just I- I actually found someone who's nice to me and I-" "Guess what? I don't care about yer new friend. So unless he's interested in applying here, get back to work!" With that, Mr. Krabs turned to leave. "Wait," Crocker started. "I actually am interested in working here." What was he saying? "Is that so?" Mr. Kabs asked. "Yes! Gladly! So, when's my interview?" Mr. Krabs looked him up and down, evaluating the situation. "Whelp, welcome to yer new job." "That was the whole interview?" Denzel asked. "Yep," Mr. Krabs replied. And with that, he left. "So I guess we work together now, Squidward." Denzel smiled. Squidward smiled back. They spent their whole shift talking. Talking about work, hobbies, their tragic lives, music, fairies, and so on. "So wait-" Squidward began. "You're telling me that fairy godparents are real?" Squidward asked. "Yes! They are very real!" Denzel snapped back. "You seem very passionate about this." Denzel nodded in response. "Well, I like a man who's passionate." Squidward said with a nervous smile. In that moment Denzel grabbed the collar of Squidward's shirt. "Denzel, what are you-" Squidward was interrupted as he was pulled into a kiss. They shared a kiss for a moment before they were both caught off guard by the door swinging open with great force. "Still kissing guys, Squidy?" The man asked as he walked in. "Squilliam," Squidward mumbled. Denzel felt anger bubble up in his chest. "Oh great, it's this jerk." Denzel stated. "What's it matter to you? Jealous?" Squidward asked Squilliam. "Oh, not in the slightest. You see, after we broke up I-" Denzel cut off Squilliam. "Wait! Hold on! You two dated?!" Denzel shouted in shock. "Uh well, yes. Th-that was a long time ago though!" Squidward responded, nervously. "As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted!" Squilliam glared at Denzel. "After we dated I had a revelation." Squidward rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, and what might that be?" Squidward asked. "Well, I realized that boys shouldn't date other boys. Plain and simple." Squilliam responded, confidently. "And what makes you think that?" Denzel chimed in. "Our good lord, Jesus Christ, has said so." Squilliam gave a sly smile. "Oh good grief, can't you just let people be happy? It's not hurting or affecting you." Crocker said, rolling his eyes. "Happy? Squidward?! Yeah right," Squilliam let out a shrill, snarky laugh. "Since when was he ever happy? I've certainly never seen him happy, and, as far as I know, nobody else has." Crocker clenched his fist in annoyance. "Denzel has seen me happy." Squidward said. "Who?" Squilliam replied, not really caring. "Denzel Crocker," he repeated, grabbing Denzel's hand. Denzel felt a smile grow across his face. Squilliam simply shook his head in disappointment. "You don't have to listen to me. I'd just appreciate if you'd stop the PDA, m'kay?" Squidward felt embarrassed. "No," Crocker said, sternly. "What was that?" Squilliam glared. "I said no. We don't have to stop anything for you. If it bothers you so much then leave." Squilliam stood there for a second, thinking of a comeback. He simply snarled and left. Squidward let out a sigh of relief. "Are you okay, Squidward?" Crocker asked, holding Squidward's hands. "I am now." Squidward smiled. Squidward pulled Crocker into a kiss. "Yay! Squidward, I'm so happy for you!" An eager voice exclaimed. "Spongebob!" Squidward exclaimed, startled. "Why does he sound like Cupid?" Denzel thought to himself. "What?" Spongebob asked. "Don't stare at people, it's creepy." Squidward stated. "Oh, my bad!" Spongebob said, and he disappeared into the kitchen. "Now, where were we?" Denzel said with a grin. Timmy sat in the classroom the next morning. He looked at Wanda and Cosmo, he had gotten them back shortly after losing them. "Where's Mr. Crocker?" He asked. He hadn't showed up to teach the class. "Oh, he's underwater." Cosmo stated. "What?!" Timmy exclaimed. "Don't worry, dear, he's not dead," Wanda clarified. "Then what does that mean?!" Timmy was completely lost. "He made a wish to be in the TV show SpongeBob without thinking, so that's where he is now. Only way he's coming back is if you wish for it, Timmy." Wanda was hopeful that Timmy wouldn't wish for the return of the dreadful teacher. "Nah, he can stay there; makes things easier for me and you two. Plus, maybe he'll finally be happy enough to leave this whole fairy obsession behind, and maybe I'll even get a nicer teacher as a replacement!" Timmy had a tinge of hope in his voice. "Yeah, smart thinking, Timmy!" Cosmo chimed in. That evening, Timmy was doing his homework with the TV on in the background. "Is that your teacher? Kissing Squidward?" Timmy's Dad said from behind him as he walked by, glancing at the television. "Huh?" Timmy looked up, caught off guard by the image. "Well, he certainly seems happier there," Wanda said from inside the fish bowl, Cosmo giggled in response. "Nah, that's not him; must be a coincidence." Timmy rolled his eyes, going back to his work, unconcerned with how Crocker chose to spend his new life.