"When does a person love someone the worst?"
“When?”
The question relentlessly spun around in his mind. The acrid smoke of cigarettes held loosely in his hand would always remind him of the bitter sting of lovesickness. He gazed off into a vibrant red rose, in full bloom, nestled in the corner of the balcony, evoking a sense of melancholy within him.
“You are too quiet today, Kwan,” a soft yet deep voice brushed him off from his train of thought.
A familiar scent lingered around him, reflecting how a rainforest would smell. A soft touch ran along his jaw. Kim Sehyoon, that man was just like a fine wine, alluring him to somewhere deep down, out of his reach.
“I just didn’t want to annoy you,” Byeongkwan replied, letting out the smoke from his lungs.
He could hear a chuckle from Sehyoon. Byeongkwan wondered what those soft brown eyes think of him. Nothing serious? Or maybe just another way of killing time? The weavers in those eyes were striking his pride, resting a pang in his chest.
"You're being sarcastic," Sehyoon remarked, a playful smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
Byeongkwan felt Sehyoon's hand searching in his pocket, drawing out the packet of cigarettes. He smiled before pulling a cigarette out.
The dim light from inside falls on his skin, contrasting the features on his face. Dazed, Byeongkwan couldn't help but admire the view. Sehyoon leaned in, tucking the cigarette on his lips.
Those pretty eyes looked up to him. Could he take them out? Would they become his if he could keep them in a jar?
"Don't you have my lighter?" Kwan tried to ignore those eyes.
"Nope," Sehyoon replied simply, "I think I left it at home."
Byeongkwan let out a sigh, leaning in, the fizzling burnt on his cigarette met Sehyoon’s cigarette. He watched the red light burn up the cigarette as their breath brushed upon each other.
He could feel the force pulling their bodies, almost colliding. Like how those lips seem so kissable — or how badly his body wanted to be wrapped around by Sehyoon's arms.
The temptation could be so desirable sometimes.
No — it can always be desirable. As if he was so much fucking desperate.
Byeongkwan inhaled deeply, his eyes closing momentarily as he savored the nicotine. Sehyoon's proximity made him feel as if the balcony was the only thing keeping them from tumbling over each other and falling deep to the ground. His gaze traveled up to Sehyoon's eyes, finding them already gazing at him.
Sehyoon exhaled the smoke and leaned closer, his lips almost brushing against Byeongkwan's ear, "Do you know when a person loves someone the worst?"
Byeongkwan shuddered under Sehyoon's touch, "When?" he breathed out, barely able to keep his voice steady.
Sehyoon's lips brushed against his neck as he whispered, "When they've gone mad."
Realization hit him - maybe he had gone mad with the flames of obsession burning inside him. Byeongkwan felt a shiver run down his spine at Sehyoon's words. It felt like he had somehow been exposed.
He tried to shake off the thought, but it lingered in his mind, fueling his desire for the man in front of him.
Sehyoon pulled back, his gaze locking onto Byeongkwan, a wicked grin spread across his face, "Don't you think so?", he asked.
Byeongkwan tried to look away — to run away from those brown eyes. He stayed quiet, only to feel Sehyoon resting his hand on his waist, pulling him closer.
