"Catch me dad!"
I said excitedly before jumping off the bed.
"Bella, I'm busy right now. We can play later."
Said my dad before going back to his computer to do more work.
I looked at him sadly before going out to the garden.
I love flowers.
Even now, ten years later. I'm 15 now. And my dad has become more distant than before.
Here I am, sitting in the garden, looking off to the tall bridge.
For some reason.. I felt like a feeling of relief looking at that bridge.
I wanted to
Jump.
I snapped back to reality when my dad called me back into the house.
I was so happy that my dad wanted to talk with me. It's been so long.
"What is going on with your grades?"
He said with an angry voice and a stern look on his face. While mom was looking disappointed.
I didn't care what my mom thought. I only cared about what my dad thought.
"I-im sorry.."
I said while stuttering.
He looked at me with an angry look on his face.
"Go back to your room and go study."
He said with an angry voice.
"O-ok.."
I said, while stuttering trying not to cry.
I went up to my room. And started studying for hours and hours.
9 hours went by. And it's now 4 am.
I was so tired.. but I had to continue studying for my dad.
I wanted him to be
Happy.
I didn't get any sleep that night.
I also heard my parents shit talking about me. I don't really care. It's true anyway.
"That kid is gonna get no where."
Said my mom.
My dad agreed with her.
My heart broke hearing my dad
agree with her.
"Why can't we just send her to a boarding school?"
Said my dad.
"We can't. They wouldn't want her too."
Said my mom in response.
I realised I was crying and tried to stop but nothing worked.
It made me cry more because I couldn't stop myself. I felt
Pathetic.
I hate myself.
I didn't want to be alive anymore.
Maybe that bridge can solve my problems.
Suddenly, the words "jump" started repeating over and over again in my head.
I stopped crying. Immediately after thinking about committing suicide.
The feeling of jumping off the bridge, the feeling of the wind around me, then the water engulfing my body.
Im gonna do it.
